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Masterclass: Coaching Breana

We're going to do in a master class now we're going to bring a few of you up on stage and you are going to get coached and the people who are not on stage are going to be so supportive super supportive super loving fully engaged those of you at home but I'd like you to do is also support the people who are on stage because they're taking a big risk doing this it's not easy to get on stage and do this in front of people that they just met and then of course thousands and thousands of people who are watching all over the world not to put any pressure on you guys so please while we're working with them right into the chat room oh I really appreciate this so and so is doing this I really liked when they did this this was really helpful when they did this it taught me how I could do something different in the way that I was presenting it would be really nice for them to get to hear that and bill appreciate you guys will appreciate that once you give a round of applause if you're okay before...

you start presenting to us and you have no idea who is going to be presenting which is why you're all a little bit nervous right now if you have mikes on they may have given you a clue but but tell us who the audience is we need to know because you'll approach different audiences differently so if you're speaking to an all female audience we need to know that if you're speaking to all military personnel we need to know that some good say yes it does okay who's first up briana where are you weigh just want to have fun and who's your audience winning women any particular age group thirty to forty five thirty to forty five great and you could get going whenever you're ready and then we will give you some coaching while you're doing ok you're a round of applause everybody okay? I was perfectly happy living a life that I thought was the life that I was supposed to live I was working a nine to five every day saving up for my four oh one k taking vacation time on my boss's watch and I thought that that was the life that I was supposed to live I thought that I was supposed to be happy living that day to day mundane everyday looking the same and started getting closer with um remember what you learned about what happened what you do when you get nervous remember in our principles of performance you look the partners in the eye you've got a lot of partners in this room this is going to make you feel more comfortable, not less living the life that I thought I was supposed to live in that bubble I thought I was supposed to have a good job find a husband, have a family, so I was doing those things I fell in love, I had a job that I thought was secure and in that life I was building towards the future that I thought I was supposed to want marriage, a family and I was happy in those moments, but then something changed literally in a blink of an eye, my fiance with martyred my whole because that's a very, very big moment, this is wonderful. This is really wonderful, so but I'd love to do with the beginning part is lightening up a little bit, it soften a little bit, making it easier and this way when you get to this moment, it will have even mohr impact thing about what you just said is it'll have impact no matter what it is a profoundly difficult thing to hear, but that's another reason toe lighten up the beginning, you know, I thought everything was great. It was bob about that, yeah, I was living the dream, you doing all this stuff and then boom, okay, what you're doing, what you will see what will happen just give that a try, ok, so okay, so you were working in this job that you thought was good? Yeah, you're going nine to five thing you know, the everything is everything thing everybody does this thing this is what we do. I'm going along, I'm working on my career. I'm getting there a move forward. I fell in love with this guy. Everything was really wonderful and then okay, okay. Okay. Okay. So I grew up probably like everyone else thinking that the thing I'm supposed to do is go to school, get a good job, build for your future, get married, have a family, right? That's what? We're pretty much born thinking that that the life worth both live that's what society tells us we're supposed to strive for this comfortable, secure life and so I bought into that just like maybe some of you have thinking that's the life that I wanted because that's what I saw so I did that I went to school, I got a job, I fell in love. I thought that was the path that I was supposed to take. I thought I was supposed to want that path and I did at least for a time. And as I was comfortable in that space right there before we get to the expert so you just you change dramatic, you feel that you had to change yeah, all of a sudden her body is working with what she's saying there was no question she just was on so we want to keep going with this theme I was on the path everything was great I was going for the american dream I was doing the thing but what happened was rape but before the part where I stopped you is you start to say well at least I thought so okay because that now starts to take us into something else but we're looking to get to the big statement about your fiance okay? And we can get to all of that later okay uh as it is appropriate were necessary for the information that you're trying to share and the result you're trying to produce but we wanted to be great until you get to that moment. Okay? Would that be an honest um uh way of delivering your presentation when you say like I was on this great path yeah, yeah, I was I was doing the dream I was I fell of this amazing person and then the road got taken away so that's what we want to go we got to get all the way up here. Everything is amazing and then okay, okay, okay, so um maybe not all the way back, but maybe from the point of like I had a straight job I was living the dream because remember we talked about this this concept of where's my camera, this concept of my concept switch me was their nose over there the concept of you know here's the way the world is and here's how it could could look so she's giving us the way the world is and I want to see this living the dream okay that's what I want to see it the way the world was that's what I was doing was living the dream and then boom and then eventually we're going to get to but the world could be like this even though that happened right? I imagine that's where we're going okay so start say I was living the dream o k so I was living the dream I had this amazing love in my life we were planning a wedding I even had our chil we had our children's names planned out that's how happy we were about this future that we were planning a life was good I was you know, in a job that was comfortable it was secure it was good I was building I was dreaming about I'm going to go back again wow when she said children ah all right now here's the thing you know what's coming which is why you felt like that and that's what they're going to feel when you actually say it, okay now what it demonstrates to us is that there are actually melt different ways that you could do this you could actually open wave what happened to your fiance and then quickly switched to but it was amazing, you know, you could. There are ways to t make it so that it is not exactly in this right the same order, not suggesting we do that. I want to go back just around to where we were because you're starting to give us more detail than we need. You got us to this place off. He was this. It was this we were so in love we had our children's names picked out and then you tell us what happened, okay? You say so you want me to go there like, okay, I want you to make that big a transition in whatever way is authentic and honest for you. Okay, but you see how she start to given other details or other information we didn't actually need. We were at that climactic point of oh, my god is amazing. What a beautiful life and then we can make we have a big beat into the next. Okay, cat rooms here too. They're really loving you. Sky burger says wow, her confidence skyrocketed without that notebook way has a very sweet, sincere stage presence and authenticity and she has so much courage. Thanks. You wanna wait? You want me to continue from just weird like you did before I was living the dream, okay? I was living the dream I had the love of my life I was in a good job I was happy and thinking about the future we're planning a wedding we had our children's names even picked out we were ready for what was coming up ahead and then everything changed it was literally a moment where I felt like the bottom dropped out of my entire life my fiance is good although I'm not goingto let's go back again okay so what a wonderful transition into something else without just dropping it on us like a bomb but don't tell us that the rug got pulled out from him until the rug got told out okay because it needs teo because if you set them up to much as the rugs get going to get pulled out then the statement that you make about why the rug was pulled out it doesn't have as much impact okay so and then everything changed in an instant but nobody's expecting what you're actually going to say right there's thinking maybe he left you maybe you know something like that okay okay give another try and again that smile is contagious isn't it so let's go back to living the dream the big smiles play around that and have fun with all right okay so I was living the dream I had a good job I had a fiance I had an amazing family I had a future planned I had a wedding, I was looking forward to children's names picked out for my future family I mean, it was good and then everything changed. I woke up to some white guy to say everything changed, everything changed e the life that I was living who was awesome, but everything changed when my fiance, when I found out that my fiancee wasn't coming home when I found out that someone took him from this world, it was literally like the bottom dropped out of my life and everything that I thought that I was supposed to want everything I thought I was supposed to have or strife or was stolen from me, and suddenly I found myself in a position of where do I go from the life that I thought I was supposed to want to live no longer seemed attractive? It didn't make sense for who I was, and it really allowed me to take a step back and to see where I was headed. I was feeling like I was taking a path that wasn't ever really supposed to be mine. I felt as though I was striving to live a life that I thought I was supposed to want a life that I was told I was opposed to enjoy, and in those moments of the aftermath of my loss, I began to look at his life and saw how much he lived the goals that he accomplished, he lived his childhood dream of being a musician traveling the world. I'm going to stop you here, you that's her problem that's what I'm talking about, how much courage does it take? Okay, so when you, when you tell us this, you want to stay with it, let it land sit with it needed a beautiful job of working through the discomfort. So someone asked a question in one of our other segments about what do you do when you get very emotional? How do you handle that? And she worked through it now when she rehearses this a lot, she'll get more comfortable working through it. She'll get more comfortable being able to say what she has to say, and you will be able to work through it. The feelings will still come up, they'll come up forever, they don't go away and that's good, because it's honest, she'll get she'll be able to move through that faster eventually, however, we're not at not, however, and what I would love to see structurally in the presentation is after you tell us this to move not into the life that you thought you were living wasn't actually what you should be living, I would love you to go right into that, and he lived this kind of life. And you start to tell us about how extraordinary his life was in the way he lived it and then after that is when we circle back to and of course I questioned everything about my life when that haven't yeah, because that makes us okay and, um good good you want to try it again from that place where you were just so he's from that you told us what happened and then you start to talk about his the way he lived his life. Okay, so after my life I took a step back and I looked at the life that he lived, the impression that he left on me what I would miss the most seeing how he lived every day to the fullest he lived his childhood dream he traveled the world with big name stars doing the work that he loved, the work he was made to do. He made an impact. There were so many people who loved him because he lived fully, unapologetically every day of his life. And then I started thinking about the life I was living. I was in this comfortable job perfectly happy taking vacation time when someone told me I could living up to this for a one k for maybe fifty or sixty, fifty years from now and not really living, but I saw him live and so I realized that I could have more then the life that I was settling for the life that the world told me that I should be happy with content with, but I could have more than that I could live ah, life that lit me up a light that made a difference just like his life did just like the impression that he left on me and on the on the friends and family that he knew that loved him, I could do the same in my own life. So what was I settling for? Why was I ok with the life that the world told me that I should be happy with the life that I should settle for? Great theo, folks at home, I just want you to tell them, are you highly paid professional speaker? No would like tio someday you will be is this new to you? Yeah, so if you're if you're thinking oh, well, she must be a professional speaker and that's why she's moving me in such deep in an impactful way? No, this is new for her, and so if you are willing to be this vulnerable on stage, no matter how long you've been doing this, you can have an extraordinary impact, okay, so I've been doing these master classes for a long time and only one other time I have I have been brought to tears and it was also by somebody who was not a professional speaker, somebody who had absolutely no desire to speak. But she came because she wanted to find her voice for her. All I should hidden. She had she didn't express herself. What? And it was extraordinary. So no, that no matter how long you've been doing this, if you are willing to come up here and share your story and tell the truth, you can have impact. Uh, I made a note here when you tell us what happened when you first said the word murdered is a very powerful and I think you may want to use it. Okay, but this is something you'll find as you rehearse more. Okay, if but but either way, whether you use that word or another word, people are gonna wonder why, okay, this is something you're shaking your head often. When we hear something that is so unusual. We want to know why, right? So you don't need to explain to them why, then however you might after you tell them that when you get your you compose yourself, you might say, and I'll tell you why a little later. And then you start to tell us about him, okay? So, you know, you see eso you, then you tell us about him and butt and I'll tell you what a little bit later, this was a man who can you tell us about him then when you make this transition back into yourself, I made a note here that I think is a very important one if you go too quickly into the changes that you wanted to make in your life without, without giving him the kind of time and honor that he deserves in the present in that part of the presentation, then it might look a little bit, uh, not callous, necessarily, but all the sun, we're back to you, okay? And we just met him and what happened to him? And then we're back to you. So if you say something like, even though I lost the most important person in my life and then you move in, it helps us do you say, we need these transitions to smooth us from these very difficult moments in tow, others ok, right? So that you know, it's, it's it's his death that brought you to this new place, but if it's his death embroider this new place and we don't, wei don't continue to feel the pain that you felt then it's like, oh, it was really good that that happened so I was able tto brain and that's, of course not right case. So it's, like no matter how. Even though I heard so much even though I felt like I was lost even though I lost the most important person my life, I saw a tiny opening. I saw something I had never seen before. Okay? He showed me something in his death that I had never seen before. And that's true, you're smiling because it's strange. Yeah. And then it gives us the ability to start to go back into that for you, and then later on, you come back to actually what happened to him? Okay, if it's relevant, but but but I do think it needs to be addressed in some way if you decide you don't want to include it. Um, then we have to, you know, figure out a different way, teo, to introduce the concept. Okay, okay. I want to stop there. Okay. How do you feel what you learned from doing this? What do you feel that I'm? Well, first of all that I'm capable of doing more than I thought I could, um, and, uh, realizing just how powerful my own personal story could be is encouraging just don't knowing that what I'm doing does there's a purpose here and what I have to say so that was inspiring for me to know that I can keep going and doing that and of course because you're a participant here I know you can watch these over norma and I want you to watch it because some of the notes that I gave him you're not gonna remember when you're up here you don't usually remember them which is why when your when your you often write your notes down when you were rehearsing right so you'll go back and you look at them and you'll remember that structure that I gave you and so you guys see how the organisation of when you share certain information dramatically changes the impact of that information okay and amy is going to give you a couple things this before I'm going I'm just add one something that I think could be beneficial for everyone in this huge you're sober is incredible in this shift that you just made part of why it had such impact excuse me was that you were fully in each stage of the story when you were in it so when you made that shift from but the first time you told us about I had the dream life it was tinged with that I thought it was tinged with the later knowledge but if that later knowledge comes later than you don't tell us that at the beginning, right? Mmm, yeah, and so because you made that shift of living each section. As you told it, we got to take the journey with you. We got to stay in each journey, part of the journey with you that makes him do you all see how you could apply that to yours.