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Hot Seat: Connecting with Influencers

So I don't think I got it into the workbook by the way, I didn't mention this, but we do have this in the workbooks, so we started on page twenty six and I think right now we're about to move into twenty eight we're going to get that we're looking at the networking plan um but we didn't get kind of what the ask template is, so I thought I would just kind of turn it out for you really quickly and then we have time for a hot seat so so in in your email usually you're making an aschen email let's just assume like that's how most of us do it if you're in person, though, you can really modify this it's gonna be a little shorter probably even so in your email you know you always first of all you somebody's name on I say this because I'm in the media business, so so many journalists get emails where you don't use their names or you used the wrong pain so that's, why I can't harp on that. I know it's weird most people use name's, but always you're always addressing a person, and even if you wa...

nt to connect with an organization you're still addressing and thinking about that one person in the organization and what their role is in what matters to them and what's going to help them so your first paragraph is it's hard, because the media terminology it's a lead but it's a little different than the lead that terrorists in talking to you about. So in on media parlance, a lead is really where you kind of get to the point and you give all of the details about, you know, the who, what, where, when, why, how so right away, I liked teo immediately state, you know what it is that I'm asking for and what I'm offering so this could be the way where you immediately go into for a media pitch would be something like, um, you know, too often, um, women aren't in touch with their sexuality there, feeling really burnt out at work, they're not feeling creative. Well, I have the solution for that, and I'd love to take your readers through this process for feeling more turn on at work. So you go straight into the heart of the matter, and that in that case, that it's also it's like what you want and it's what they're getting. So you want to have your lead where you go straight to the heart of what it is that you like the ideal outcome to be so I can write that down another one is, you know, if if you're approaching somebody about being a guest instructor, it's the same kind of thing, you know, I'm going to be teaching this program, and I would love to bring you on to talk about networking because it's a great opportunity, it's going to be filmed all that stuff. So you get straight into the heart of the matter what often happens here after you know, dear margaret, or what have you is that people spend a lot of time introducing themselves? I'm richard, I do public relations and did it. I've got ten years of experience I have running, you know, and they do all of that, and what happens is that people are like, what is the point of this email? And they switch away so you want to get into leave your ideal outcome? What is your proposal? What is it that you're proposing here, and ideally, that will tie together the value we're going to create and what the outcome is that ask then from there you can do some background, so this is a I would say two out of three cents, piau and you can modify your bio according tio, what you're reaching out to so you might want to talk about if you're a great interviewer, you might want to talk about how many twitter followers you have I mean whatever it is that's gonna be relevant you want to take your background and just parrot down of the pieces that are really relevance your lead and then you have a call to action so what's the next step what is the next thing you need from this person all great I'll be aggressive structure for your program send me more info right? Or um uh if you if you really love this this idea about what what turns women on at work you know that do you want a draft of the article so be really clear and give them the next step and then you sign off that's it concise its precise it makes it very clear exactly what you're asking what you're offering and what the next step is and if they agree to this initial kind of what the framework is then you can follow up with okay, well we're going to be meeting at twelve o'clock and we're gonna be there for an hour you know, follow up with all the details I do believe that once somebody commits you should give them all the information that they need to make it super easy for them but the initial ash to be concise and precise there's also a little bit of a question about flattery and what to do with that so there's two schools of thought on this and I think it really depends with you your comfort level how adept you are at it how natural so if you have a really personal connection to the work that somebody does or a natural lead in put it right here in the beginning you know if you feel that if you feel really called like you're reaching out to somebody you've been following their work free for years put it right here in the beginning if it feels like you've been reading their stuff and like all I love that article they wrote but maybe you feel a little weird like does it feel men if you live? He was a p s so you've given them this ask it's really sure p s I really love that last article you worked about how women can negotiate at work something that my people love and I shared it with them so at that point you've already made the ask it doesn't feel like you're buttering people up anymore it feels really authentic and fun and it's kind of it is it's a post script it's not necessarily the meet of what you're asking us one less thing I wanted to call out here too it's it's important to make one ask so that's what the precise is is you want to get people one thing to respond to and it can either be the big thing and then maybe they say no when you come back with a little thing or it can be a first step you know, it's here and I have been collaborating for years now and my very first ask for her was to do a guess post when she was doing scotty girl you know, it was this very small said there's no way that my first asked to terra would've been can I do you want to run a program together, right that's just that's like you've gotta like test the waters make sure you're good at collaborating so maybe you see somebody and you're really jiving with their work and you think like we could make beautiful work together, you know, they just make magic together, but you want to test the waters first in that case so it's just think of, like, what's up one thing that you can do to test the water and ask for that see how it goes and then maybe you come back with something else, but you want to make people able to give you kind of a clear yes or no or maybe like, well, now I'm interested in more information you give them too many options, then they get confused and people hit get confused, they hit the delete button, so just though all I don't know, I need to come back to that email you know if you're like me you're like market is on red and then it gets buried on one hundred emails and you never respond so how are we doing so far how does that'll feel good defied I think we're about they're we have this what if you don't have an ask yet but I think we could come back to that so yeah let's do our uh this two five beautiful oh ah awesome. So your action item now it's really thinking about who is it that you want to connect with first anybody here have an idea of like who is that person who's going to take your business to the next level anna kind of allude to the hot seat that we did yesterday my potential sponsor mr stevenson is it's so spot on and I love that this temple is just like a very concise precise version of the more like the length yourselves which it that's exactly what it is it's just like I love that you're just like hey I'm not gonna beat around the bush this is what I want this a valium creating and what benefit will be to you here's a little more about me because I am coming from the like hi I'm anna from anna apple and I have this you know and so it's just such a easy switch that I think is so much more effective great thank you thank you whitney I have been very fortunate to get a lot of people to do the things that I want them to dio and I've just thought it wass luck or randomness or tenacity and I'm now seeing how I can reverse engineer my approach in a lot of these asks and it was very much this way and I have had many times where I was stuck and I didn't ask because it wasn't flowing s so now I understand what really was working for me and I can put it into action intentionally that's so great to hear that's awesome we've got a lot of five just to give you some feedback from from the chat room and the viewers they're just saying it's a really great temple it it's super easy for them to understand um and natalie said I think I would like to use this template to pitch a guest post to a website that could give me more exposure fabulous I love hearing that there's a lot of people who are thinking about you know how they want to use the cocoa las vegas wants to use it to connect with other successful creatives and makers so we have folks from all different positions all different industries chime ing in so very applicable to a lot of scenarios I love to hear that and I loved also what you said about reverse engineering you know I am a very extroverted person but I'm actually not naturally gifted at networking and I had to really study it because I contend teo overwhelm people you know I can come to my husband assault people with my words come home from work and I just assaulted you and when I meet somebody new and I think they're interesting, I could do that too and it could be really ah hard energy see for other people to absorb and so I don't think that it's like an extra vert introvert outgoing shy thing I think it really is about this knowing being so rooted in your purpose and what it is you're trying to achieve and that's something that anybody can do and having that confidence I love tear that your time with confidence in your product and when you're not feeling super confident what you have offer than things get muddled and so this is a way to be really clear on what it is that you're going after why also to root out, you know, there's so many opportunities that were like, is this really an opportunity? So you can look at this and say we'll do I feel like I'm getting something out of this maybe they're telling you you are but do you feel like you are and are they on that short list it's kind of a weird it feels a little I'm feeling alone manipulated here you don't have to engage it doesn't matter how influential they are you don't have to run your business that way and there's so much power and knowing that you've made that choice, sasha, it leads me to reflect to about the things that I've got, and I thought a lot about this because I've had periods of my career where I have been a really outward bound, generating things and periods when I've had the fantasy that, like people will come to me and sometimes they do come to me but it's about like, really wanting something like, for example, I wanted to speak it google I wrote something like that, I spoke at google, I was part of the authors of google siri's and they didn't come to me, I went to them, so it really is about like, really wanting something and then putting it out there yeah there's such attention to between I talked to a lot of people say I want to be the best I'm the best kept secret and I don't want to be that way anymore, but I also don't want to like manu fracture something and there is such a tension there on I think that's where that commitment to show up because opportunity there was going to come to you if you're out there doing great work, they're going to come to you and so like just being ready to jump on them when they're they're there and knowing why they matter and what the purpose is it's so different and and that can really help like when you're meeting somebody I love that from twitter of like well they help me and so that's the slide that we kind of skipped over but it's like what if you don't know what you want yet? You know, sometimes you meet somebody and you don't have an ask yet and I have so many relationships where I've met people and I didn't really know where it was going and then you know, I had a dinner with daniel report a couple years ago at a conference and certainly never thought that that would lead anywhere and then had this other casual encounter with her business operations manager and then lo and behold, we were doing a project together, you know, so just being really open t seeing how things emerge and not tryingto overly control so there's a difference between intention and control for sure we have an interesting intention which I think you know with this template you know what an amazing thing it would be to see this happen so d touch says I want to connect with business owners who are committed to making our city more prosperous and safe regardless of our industries think about that not ever happening why not making the attempt not having the format right yeah. That's so beautiful that it's so beautiful and think of the possibilities of who you would be going after for something like that and the kind of cool connections you could create. You know, I didn't say this beginning, but I think of creative lives being a perfect example of this idea of connections creating value so that's what we're all here doing right? You have a creative live is a business, right? And the business model is bringing together different influencers and different people to create more value. So the audience in the studio is getting tremendous value from the content that they're getting from free. The people who are watching online are getting tremendous value for the content that they're getting. The instructors get great value because we get our ideas exposed to more people like this is a tremendous opportunity to be up on stage here, the creative live on dh then of course, creative live, you know, they're running a business that they're going to be getting value too, and it's so in important, though, that you have that that triple bottom line I've heard it called you nowhere, it's a win win win for all of the parties involved and how you can even structure and tire business models off of that idea I think that's a really cool thing. So we were going to do a hot seat. I wanna make sure we have time for that now we've got time. Okay, marie? Oh, awesome. So it's because she loved to like to join me. So one of the things that's in your workbook is this template networking plan and so that's what? It's zuko and I gonna be working on this networking plan too. Look at how you can put these pieces together to have a system of attack. So I'm going to write this down here, and then we're going to get to know it's a girl, actually. Okay? And I believe this is your first time. Are you more comfortable standing here? You want to sit with me? Okay. So before we get started, I love for you to introduce yourself. Tell us what your next big thing is and where people can check you out at home. Okay? I I'm s ago and, uh, my business is my peaceful family dot com um, you can find me on my peaceful family dot com I'm a cross cultural marriage coach and also I'm moving to japan next month and I have many ideas, but one thing I want to do is to make, um, pre merch counseling a thing in japan oh so you're breaking it you're almost creating a new market you're moving yeah sort of oh, that is so exciting. So this is such a perfect opportunity to look at how you know you've been working on your business model even learn working our launch plan but how can you help make those connections? Well, maybe accelerate your growth or accelerant having that happen especially when you're creating new market right that's very cool so I think to start with what kind of programme are you going to be starting with when when you go over like when you're saying make it a thing is it going to be an education program or do you have a product that you're going to write so I'm about to launch a group coating and so I'm still have to kind of figured out exactly but when I say pre marriage quoting I wanna primary target the people who uh have a partner maybe engaged but not yet married and they about to move to another country just like I did twelve years ago I was injured payment has been in japan, he was in the navy u s navy and I got married and came over here but um I went through someone turning this time the first mission to a sewer years, so I want teo help them have easier time like seamless transition and all the put the typical pitfalls that they point to you when you having cross culture relationship okay, and there's something I wanna pull out here, because when you're focusing, it could be really useful to think about first, so we're thinking of the influencers of the people that we're trying to reach so the person you know, that you were not networking necessarily directly to bring you more clients, although you can absolutely do that. But with a group program, you probably want to tap into somebody that has a market thie that you can go after. So it's like this, people who are speaking teo, people who are partnered or engaged and are about to make these transitions, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Did you have some people in mind? I actually started writing down who I want to meet someone take that up, you're taking it, I love it extra duties so I could use some help here, but also but the system's just so happens that I will be moving back to japan. But initially I'll be living at the u s navy base because of my husband job there. And, um, I know that there is a program that they do for, um, it's, like a pre marriage counseling about just for specifically for japanese women marrying two u s navy people and so and I know like I am when I published my book in two thousand ten they actually bought my book fifty of them because they thought that was a great resource is for those people and basically what I want to do it's like not just like I want to offer that knot at the base but like everywhere for going into cross cultural marriage okay so primary target for you then are going to be people also other people at other military basis facilitating now I think I could start from there this yeah what kind of person have have you already work like what kind of role were they in um I think there's a division where they had due to constant ing so um constance who talked to the couple's okay I don't really have a name or anything like that but no that's great okay anyone else and also I was thinking the other totally different part I was thinking was maybe uh people in wedding industry what industry? Okay no do a wedding weddings and there's one specific company or person I I was I have been following on facebook is they see this person does she has a business called crazy wedding basically seems kind of like unconditional type of person food it's doing different type of wedding and I don't know how I can add value to her business but at least it's something that I could you know I want a meeting with her and kind of talk about you know what I'm thinking about and how it could, you know, help for what? I had a buddy in her service. Well, it sounds like there's so much you can do to set people up to be happy post the wedding. And if she's already reaching out to people who are looking for something a little different yes, yeah, that sounds very cool. The reason why I wanted to go with that our companies, because traditionally, this is just my image, but wedding industry people might not really care about if they doing about now, because you know what they do, is they they plan wedding, right? And the more wedding they plan better for them. But when I looked at what seat, as I thought that she just really wanna create the very unique experience for, you know, the couple getting married it's like a lifetime thing, and so maybe my pitch could be like, you know, it's, not just a one time thing is not just a party, but it's um, you know, you maybe you could have, like, a hour to lady going through what you know, relationship and what it could be your pain point, you know, those type of things that if they could maybe alec make up my one hour or something part of their package or something like that that I love that idea I think it's such a great one and you're going straight to the heart of it you're partnered engaged market partner did you write anybody else now um and then much making service there's a matchmaking service who specialized in cross cultural meetings those japanese women wanted to meet known japanese and so I only have contact but I could really expand and do maybe like big eater lunch meet up or something like that teo maybe actually meat was so it's those japanese women trying to find out I wanted to you know meet with non japanese and it's so interesting for you to say meting out because I do think that is something a bit for showing up skipping ahead a little bit feels like in person meetings are a good way to go and you're establishing yourself in a new community it can be you know I'm really big on getting off of the internet and like into communities as much as possible you know I met terror on the internet and we developed we collaborate were great friends and but there was a point where that relationship transitions right and you don't always have the luxury to do that with everybody you connect with but when you can um even when it feels a little uncomfortable or is intruding in your time I think it's it's great. So I think for you showing up I said it a couple of times but I do think getting out in the community and meeting these people yeah, every studio try to, like, put out there something on my block because I have that strap in his plot that I'm writing very regularly, like every day um uh so I could say, hey, I'm coming to tokyo and I think I could use your the challenge and all that stuff to drum up the meet up at an event so that's that I got there at the end of yesterday so far so so in also events there's some events that you can attend, where they'll be multiple people or that I hosted the event where people come on just, you know, meet with everybody and meet with me so you just you had asked before how you would create value and that's number one right is helping people to introduction, so creating this community of people who might find different collaborations, whether it's with you or with each other could be such a huge value. I mean, I can see the military counselors and this unique, you know, wedding planner kind of getting together that could be like, a really fun who knows what would bloom from that, so that could be anything that would be a role for you and um just one tiny thing that I want to add it it's like this is a long shot but there is a small population well not actually small like japanese people want to get married in the western way and some churches um make them go through this casa rick um you know, church they don't really allow you two just get married they're like they want them to like you know, the rules and all that stuff so I I don't know if they allow me to like, you know get in there, huh? It's worse the shot I think to work with the churches themselves yeah and like um at least let them know that this is what I do and if you know one of your clients who are interested in some this is great. I love this list and so here's where I'm seeing that you have a lot of priorities and so part of focusing I think would be thinking about and it can really help with the exercise too is like who's that person that you really want to hit the ground running with where is the most natural place for you to start? I like sometimes it started in places like the easiest or feels like there's the most sanitary so what year feels like a good place to start a natural place would be at the base because I will be staying there for one month once I get there so I think it would be easy for me tio access like physically anyways and tried to have a meeting and meet up and that's actually not the one I'm dying to meet but that's like the first step who are you dying to me the second one the crazy wedding. Okay, I hear you. I hear I think the cool thing too though about the military base is they might not be a like, funky and fun, but it probably is going to have more of your customers your customer profiles, right? And I can say, you know, look, you bought my book four years ago, and so I think I have some way in that I think yeah, and you any of people who are being relocated, which is yeah, exactly. You're what I went through and so so this might be like, a fun passion project and I can totally see why, um, but the cancer, the military base it's like you have access, but it also was probably the group that right away is gonna have that that's energy we have and I think they have more urgent needs a swell because when I say something like, you know, the divorce rate of japanese non japanese couple is eighty per cent, which is like a huge high number so sure sure okay so adding value let's go there because we know you're gonna be on base and you're mostly gonna be showing up by I would assume connecting people they're asking them to refer you to other people and then maybe it persists email but I think it's like a fairly standard and clear feeling progression so I think we can skip ahead like what is the adding value so thinking about what these councils the military base might need what are the kinds of things that you think that they might be looking for that you could offer to them I guess the my personal experience of having going through that myself and also having worked as ah marriage coach of specifically cross cultural relationship cross cultural marriage but other than that I beyond that I'm not sure what I can do so you can share your personal experiences with them with the people at the military base or or and or the actual people who are living on bass who might come or um those military employees dating japanese people ok no they might not necessary be married already or uh living together but um so if they could they could be living anywhere is that what you were thinking was employees who were you thinking about that the counselors or the couple's oh the person I want to meet initiative is a consider because yeah the person who runs the place yeah so is the value I was just trying to get clarity, but I think I'm thinking if using when you were saying like I can add value of my personal experience were you thinking to the counselors or the for example when they do a two day premarital counseling for the people who are people that the japanese marrying on like military person they have to go this's a mandatory too to the training that I had to attend also when I was getting married to my husband so maybe like during that two days I could come in like a maybe a segment and share oh, I love it okay, do you have that personal experience in that way I love that on I love that such a clear example of something that benefits you and them yeah so you're adding value in away that you're actually um immediately getting something back but it's not one sighted it's great everyone so they could ask questions and you know also once that's over they still know me so they you know they look up my block and in case I can down the road they have problems they could still weeks out, so for here they ask, what do you what do you think the ask iss like, how do you think that would work? Well, that I think the first ask is have a meeting okay and assuming that's given uh once I meet with the person then I think the ask is can I come talk about me? You had a door yeah, so I I would say um to make it easier for them to envision what they're doing with the time for the meeting and it could be a little different the military base because you have this experience but generally speaking asked for the meeting because so at least give them the context of here's my background I moving here and I love to meet with you to explore the possibility of where I believe I have a lot I can offer your employees because, um so meaning in itself isn't the most compelling ask and for some so like I said, it might not apply to these people, but in general for a lot of people asking for a meeting is like a really big deal, right? Like they don't want to take time out maybe they're like, you know, like super introverted hsp and they don't want to, like meet with people because they like to have that like controlled interaction and they want to know is that people like I want to know like what's the agenda or else they won't meet with you so definitely the first asked that I would go to actually would have a little bit of a proposal in it for that yeah yeah absolutely this is great I love it um do you wantto run through any of the other ones well you want to try one on what's the wedding industry would be and what that would look like the value because it's a little different value proposition it is and uh do you feel yeah so I guess I mean my first steps still would be asking for meeting because I know she's very busy person and it's just already I could any kind of big now because people want like and she just she just published her first book and he's like uh what's her book on it's about how she came up with the idea of crazy wedding and how she built her company's still like thirty something we're young person but very so winner how long between now and when you move pick a months I would I would say with that then the adding value is that but tiffany said before sending her an email and telling her how you love her book and then you can establish that personal connection before you go back and make an ass that I love to meet with you and explore how we might collaborate so I think you have enough time to do that especially because you seem really jazz it'll come across totally authentically so that's a chance to take a step back okay yeah let's let's good. Awesome. Thank you. Great work. Thank you