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How to Profile Your "Mark" - Part 2

So, in our next column, we need to determine if somebody is thinking versus feeling. So, the differences between the two, the thinking are highly principled, which means that if you have somebody who you think is a T, if they're thinking and they're values from their vibes is very strong, then anything that you can do to appeal to those values and traditions is going to be a huge win, and if it's against those, then you have a very strong brick wall that you're going to have to try to find a way around, through, over. The next, and for feeling, so, versus principle on thinking, feeling, they really weigh the opinions based on what is important to other people. So they consider multiple sources versus the thinking person goes to their life's rule book that they have. And then the thinking person is very analytical, the feeling person is very situational. And for the thinking person, they can come across as perhaps being impersonal, and they're really not swayed by other people's opinion...

s, and so some people, especially a feeler can see that of a thinker and think, wow, they're so cold-hearted. Right? And then, the feeler will consider many viewpoints, so the feeler is almost kind of like a situational aggregator, if that makes sense, like, okay, let me see the whole scope of everything, let me pull in everything that I know versus the thinker is just like, well, it's black and white, it's this or that, and I know this because these are my principles, this is what I, you know, I've grown up with, this is what I know, and this is what's right, this is what's wrong. The thinker loves structure, the feeler is more concerned with harmony. The thinker is indifferent and factual and straightforward, the feeler comes across as more caring, warm and tactful. The thinker takes action based on logic, and the feeler takes action based on the heart. So, the thinker versus feeler, an easy way to remember that is, the thinker, the mind, the feeler, the heart. So, what happens when you have a feeler who's kinesthetic? We need to really wrap up our influential intention with feeling words and harmony and texture and talk about emotions and experiences versus if we have the thinker, then we're definitely going to talk about strategies, steps, details, how it appeals to their principles, how it appeals to traditions, how this is the right thing to do, and the other thing is the wrong thing to do. Right? Okay, question? I have a question on differentiating, so if I'm profiling my mark, I am both intuitive and feeling, and so I'm having a hard time figuring out the difference, because I feel like, for me, they're so intertwined. So, what are some examples of some, like, that I would know it's feeling versus intuitive? Does that make sense? I know it's the previous one. I see what you're saying. But to me, for some reason, they're very similar. Just because that's who I am. Because that's you. Right, I understand that, and I'm the same way, I'm intuitive and feeling. And so, this is where I might turn to, I would probably turn to the elicitation techniques, and if I'm really not sure, then I might try to engage in a conversation about the future, and if they really build up to that, how do they describe that? Do they describe that about how we're going to use things, how we're going to, what's right or wrong, or are they talking about the ramifications of all these other people that are going to be involved. And then they might say, well, they could be, if they're intuitive, then they'll say, well, this could happen, but then, you know, if this happens, then that could happen, and, well if that happens then this could happen, versus the thinker would say, oh well, that's what's gonna be the end result. So, if you can choose from one of these where you think you can kind of pick up your own litmus test, if you really want to delve deep and figure the difference between the two, awesome, I think it's a great exercise. Yes? I might be able to shed some light. I think I'm intuitive thinker, that's kind of how I identify. And so, maybe, I would look at these things as to what I'm looking at. If I'm looking at a long-term overall picture, I would definitely go much more intuitive and use that kind of mindset, but if it's what am I going to do now, it becomes tactical, it becomes thinking, it becomes logical. So maybe kind of looking at how they react in situations might help you understand that. I'm just thinking about how I would go about these things. So, different point of view. Thank you. And so, perhaps this will shed light on it as well of the thinking versus feeling, how to influence a thinker, you really want to ground your ideas in logic, and if you can, and I heard an mhmm from our thinker in the group. (laughing) If you can attach your idea to a rule or a principle, even better. If you match their, you want to probably match their brief and very concise nature, so again, this all comes back to the mirroring, and in time you can match their style. And it often will happen, I personally find, I don't know if this comes from my intuitive kinestheticness or if everybody experiences this, but I find when I mirror them, then I start to, in an interesting way, almost start to think like them, I communicate in which the ways they do, so even though I'm not factual oriented, I start to lean towards the facts because I'm embodying parts of their persona that it almost naturally comes out. So I think perhaps the kinesthetic intuitives might understand that. If you're not and you're like, you crazy, lady, that's okay, I'm all right with that. And then, stay objective, calm, and reasonable. So, if they say something, say, that's just stupid and ridiculous, what they're saying is, that goes against my life's rule book. It's not necessarily a personal attack on you, and they'll probably say it in a very like, that's just stupid and ridiculous. But if you rise to that in an emotional state and go against their calmness, then you are now taking your conversation down a completely different and highly ineffective path. So, allow them to be, especially if they're thinker and judger, then they are very precise in their language that, this is good, this is bad, this is right, this is dumb, all of that. And have clear this or that scenarios to present them. Versus the feeler, you want to be willing to share your own personal feelings and those of others. If you are guarded or if you're a thinker and this is difficult for you, the feeler will pick up on that and feel as though you have something to hide and you are not trustworthy. If you're not sharing your own personal feelings and perspectives, they feel disconnected from you. And so therefore, and we're getting a nod, a shaking of the head, so we probably have a feeler who totally gets that, and then immediately follow up with encouragement for them to share theirs. They love conversations about experiences and feelings, so allow that to be a part of the conversations. And just so you know, I want to go back to your question of if they're an N versus if they're an F, feel free to, if you start to go down this feelings conversation and you get the negative significant shifts, if they are not feeling that, then you know, okay, made a wrong hypothesis, totally fine, let's move over to the other one. And a lot of these cues, you'll be able to pick up by just paying attention to what you can mirror back, if they're detail oriented in their language or if they're feeling oriented in their language. Be sure to connect your persuasive idea with what they value and their beliefs, we already know that to begin with. Smile and maintain a warm and welcoming nature. If you close off, they feel that and they will not be receptive to you. And paint a picture of the positive reactions of others, and what the other people will have with your influential intention and how you say it is just as important as what you say. So a thinker feels like, if I just present you with the information, then you should know, but the feeler wants you to present it in a nice, happy, warm way. How you present it makes I infer from you more about the information based on how you present it. So if you're not excited about it, if you don't come across as excited about it, I'm not going to be excited about it. So, making sure that you're actions are aligned with your words. The thinker feels like their words are just enough. Okay? Yes, Chris. We have a question here and we have some comments coming up about how the results of these tests may change over time. So, Hoops wanted to know, is this something that changes based on your experiences that you have? And Roxdy has a comment saying, I've taken these tests for over 20 years and no matter how many times I take them, I always come out the same. I was hoping with age and experience, I would change, but I didn't. So any insight into how people may evolve over time? Yes, absolutely. So, some people, they have their personality type and they take the test and they stay the same, and that's totally cool. Sometimes people do change their personality types, again, subconsciously there's, these aren't going to be consciously, today I'm gonna be a thinker. (laughing) But I can speak to my own personal experience is that, within the last few years, I went from an ENTJ to an ENFP, and again, I've always been kind of on the line, so it wasn't much of a big shift, but through personal experiences and life contemplation or whatever it is, this is what has emerged, and honestly, now, in my point of life, ENFP feels like a good fit versus the NTJ before. Not that one is right or wrong, it just simply is what it is. And so, sometimes people's personality types can also change, quite frankly, a chemical imbalance can change it if there's something going on up here, either medications, and then they take the test that will sometimes yield different results, and of course catastrophic or traumatizing or even good, happy, wonderful big changes in life can yield sometimes a different personality type. You probably won't go from ENTJ to, ummm... FPII, what's the first one? (laughing) ISFP, there we go. You probably aren't going to go completely diametrically opposed, but there may be a few shifts of one letter or two. So, yeah. And again, if you change, great, if you don't, great. No right or wrong about it. Okay, thanks. So then our fourth and final column is judging versus perceiving. So, a judger is very structured and organized, just going back to your question about people's environment. Their desk will likely not be cluttered, they will have the files in the right file folders and the pens in the pencil jar. And then a perceiver is very flexible and adaptable. The judger is planned and orderly, so if they make a plan, you stick to the plan. Any deviations from the plan feels like the end of the world. And I still do have quite judging tendencies, because again, I was ENTJ for a very long time, and I'll say that this one definitely still resonates with me. I'm like, you said 8:00, it's 8:02. (laughing) So, I definitely understand their side of things. And the perceivers tend to be very spontaneous, and the judgers like control, and the perceivers seek new experiences. So, what a perceiver might view a judger as being boring, they're in a routine, that sounds horrible, they never do anything new, because they constantly are wanting to seek new experiences. And a judger might see a perceiver as crazy, they're not grounded, they're way too out there, is a phrase they might have as well. So, how the two different personality types subconsciously might view each other or even consciously can create those communication mismatches. And then, the judger is very decisive. The perceiver is open to new ideas and is perfectly fine changing midway through. Like, oh, we're taking a road trip to the Grand Canyon, but let's go to Colorado instead, all right. The judger freaks out. (laughing) Not cool. And then the judger makes lists, and then the perceiver just likes to keep things unplanned. So, a judger and a perceiver on vacation. (laughing) One has the itinerary of all the things they want to see, the perceiver isn't even sure if they're going to have the plane ticket the day they were originally wanting to fly out. Like, they'll just do standby, that's totally fine. So, already we see very clear distinctions. And the judger is very focused and sometimes to the point of being very tunnel-vision, so they just, they want to get this thing done, they just stay in it and they sometimes can be the people that three hours later, they go, oh wow, all right, time flew by because I was working on that project. And the perceiver, they have these bursts of energy and they really want to mix work with play. So they don't want to have to go through the structure, it's just like, okay, I get the general idea, can I play with that, do it my own way, see if there's a better way to do it, maybe I'll do it differently next time because that's what keeps it fun for me versus the judger is like, well, it worked well last time so that's what we're going to do this time. So we already start to see those different actions. So, who considers themselves to be a J? Okay, we've got one. We've got a maybe. And then who considers themselves to be a P? A few unsures and one fairly sure. Awesome, great. So, this one's extensive. How to influence a judger, their judging. You want to present your ideas with a plan, and timetables are an excellent addition to include. Demonstrate proven results from before, so again, showing what has worked in the past and we're just going to follow that exact same path this time. Close all the open loops, illustrate with past achievements, and status is usually very important to them, so not only what has worked in the past, but what has worked in the past for somebody very high level in the company or very important. And expect quick decisions and be prepared to make quick decisions of your own. They know what they want, they're going to go for it, and they expect the same from you. If they get any sense of waffling, what they would consider to be waffling, they get annoyed by that, and it actually can even present them with the opportunity to not trust you because they see people who don't make decisions as not very grounded and not very trustworthy, so be prepared with your contingency plans. Best if your personal appearance is very clean and sharp, again, they like structure and organizations both on their desks and, in their projects, and in their own personal attire. Give them opportunity to demonstrate their expertise, they love it. They appreciate learning opportunities and fellow experts, so they really like to kind of hobnob with the people that they consider to be important, and don't be afraid to share your own flair or expertise, because they will like that, they would like to see you as somebody that is worth their time. And then, with a perceiver, present them with a few different options that they can choose from, so you are already starting to see some overlap of how we influence another personality type, so I just hope that puts you at ease in your presentations, that it's not going to be a complete hit or miss, that if somebody is an N and a P and you're not quite sure which was which, that's okay, you still present them with the options rather than the clear structure. So, there's still some overlap in your influential techniques. And they might combine them or come up with a few of their own, so be prepared to be flexible, they like the collaborative nature of how to move forward, so if you're a judger and you come up with three plans and the perceiver goes, well, I want a little bit of A and I want a little bit of C, you have to be prepared to be okay with that, because that is how they demonstrate buy-in when they are a part of the process versus you coming in and dictating the process. And be prepared for tangents and gently guide them back to the influential topics because they are just gonna go where their mind goes for a little bit, and go with the flow of the conversation. Again, you can see how this can be very difficult for somebody who's a judger. And there may not be much structure to the conversation as you might like if you're of the opposite personality type. Allow time for creativity, feel free to educate them because they like learning new things, they like experiences. Freedom tends to be a strong value for them, and pitch something that isn't constricting. So, are you a P, do you think, Chris? Yeah, I have some judging tendencies, but definitely a P. Okay, definitely a P, awesome. So you can see already how some of these personality types tie in to values from the vibes that we talked about before, and generally they tend to be put off decisions, so prompt them to say what they're committed to by asking, so what can we agree upon today? So that kind of gives them the freedom instead of saying this time, this day, so what can we agree upon today. It's almost subtly saying, it's okay if we change later, but let's just come to a nice amicable agreement right now. So we've talked about how a judger versus perceiver and all of our personality types, haven't we been able to figure out in the chatroom our personalities? The chatroom gets more and more interesting with each test that we do here. (laughing) I love this. Willow says, I've been totally on the line for all of the other things, but for this one, I'm definitely a judger by nature, but when I'm pushed to act like a perceiver, I'm actually happier. And Short Cinema says, I'm a perceiver who wants to be a judger. Roxy says, I'm primarily a P, but I have tendencies to be a J on occasion. And then Lala says, I like to be a judger all the way leading up to the vacation, but once I step out the door, that's when I become the perceiver. (laughing) A fascinating bunch. Oh my goodness. I love the self-awareness. Yeah. It's great, it is beautiful. So, let's, in-studio audience, and feel free, chatroom, to discuss this as well, we've already kind of talked about who you are or who you think you are, again, it doesn't, it's not right or wrong, just how you might assess yourself. So, Clifton, which one do you think you are? I feel like I'm in a transition. I started as a CPA, so I definitely, the ENTJ, kind of very... Forceful personality type there, but switching more to an entrepreneurial role, kind of changing the last two to an F and a P to deal with a lot of the changing dynamics of what you deal with on a day-to-day basis and what works and what doesn't work. So I feel like, ah, I want to, but I don't, and part of me is like, I remember when I was that way, but now I'm this way. So I'm in a very interesting transition, which we already discussed how you can go through that transition based on your life. Fantastic, fantastic. And how about yourself? Um, I feel like I'm very similar to you, I'm right on the line with extrovert, introversion. Definitely intuitive, feeling, and then kind of nebulous when it comes to the last one. I love interacting with people, but in a very, like, feelings, symbolism, I love talking about emotions and experiences and asking them questions about why it made them feel a certain way or why it was important to them, those are really, I love those conversations. I'm in a state in my life where I'm considering a lot of different options and trying to figure out where I go next in my career and that's sometimes a difficult place to be because being very self-aware, I tend to want to be better, so I realize that, for example, I might be too perceiving sometimes, but I want to be more of a judger, so there's this constant battle of trying to be more of what I'm not because I want to find that perfect balance. Well, and what I love from both of your responses thus far is, each of you said, well, I'm definitely this and I'm definitely that, and I'm not so sure about this and I'm not so sure about that. You will get that same experience from your mark. So, you will clearly be able to say, oh they're definitely an F and they are definitely an I, I'm not so sure about these other parts, and that's totally fine. You still have two influential strategies to go through for the ones that you can clearly identify. For the ones that you're not so sure about, you know, test things out and look for those significant shifts. So, with the two of you, ENTJ, so the opposite of you would be ISFP. Is there anybody that comes to mind who is introverted, quiet, touchy-feely, go with the flow type of person that comes to mind? Yeah. Okay, how do you get, how well do you get along with that person, or do you? It's difficult to relate, absolutely. It's very difficult, you try different tactics, different ways of making it work, but I'm not quite sure how to get through to her. Great, great, well, now you do. Yes. (laughing) Absolutely. And then for your opposite person, I'm sorry, I can't remember yours because we weren't sure about a few of them. E and, basically E and F, P, J. So, an ISTF would be your opposite. My younger brother in his head, he's very by the books, like, has rules, he conducts his life in a certain way, and his ideas are his, there's no changing it, and I spent a lot of, I think, he's quite a bit younger than me, he's 10 years younger than me, so I play, sometimes, a mother role with him as well, and so I spend a lot of time asking him, why do you think that, why do you do those things, do you ever want to change it, how does it make you feel? And he just clams up. He doesn't like answering those questions. And as I'm going through this, I'm like, oh, maybe that's the wrong tactic. Because since I am that personality, I think that's the right way to be, why not always consider opinions, dig in to your emotions, analyze why you feel certain things or do certain things, and he doesn't respond at all, and we usually just kind of walk out of the room without a resolution. So I need to kind of speak his language. Exactly. I love that ah ha moment. That's exactly what I was hoping for from this exercise, especially when you consider, it's fun to think about ourselves, as I talked about in the last session, those little quizzes that we take online of which movie character are you and all that stuff, this personality profiling is very similar to that, it's like, ooh, I get to learn about me. And once you learn about you, then taking it that one step further of, who is opposite of me, and right now in my life, how well do I relate with that person? And I would put down money in Vegas that you probably don't relate with that person very well or easily, like it takes more effort than some other people. So, that's our job as influencers is, one of the tenets of influence is that the only person that you can control is yourself. You can influence other people, but the only person you can control is yourself. So, what parts of yourself can you take control of in order to influence this person, and it's how to speak their language, how to incorporate their personality types, how to package this message in order for it to be more appealing to them. So, that's really the entire big lesson, ah ha, that I really wanted for you guys today with the personality profiles. Any other ah has or thoughts thus far? I just, real quick, the one I was thinking of was my younger sister. (laughing) So all younger siblings just suck. (laughing) I'm the youngest, so all right, I guess I'm in that field. So, I want to do a little exercise with both the studio audience and the people online can chip in is, how would a certain personality type describe a certain situation or something? So, let's kind of come together with, like, what's something that we might describe like, I don't know, work project perhaps, if that feels like something that could be a good fit, we're going to, what are we going to do? We're going to build a website. I think we all understand websites fairly well, yes? It feels like a good fit? Okay, we're going to build a website. So, we have an extrovert. What would an extrovert want from this website? We want a whole bunch of people to come to this website, how can we get people to see this website, how can this website be fun, how can we engage people on the website, how can our website allow us to talk with people? Maybe a higher energy website as well, like visually much more dynamic. Yes, great. Versus an intuitive, what would an intuitive want from this website? Subtle, direct connection versus a lot of people. Right, right, perhaps also like clear, concise messaging, not a whole lot of, we don't need long pages, sales pages and copy, just keep it simple and straightforward, something along those lines. Maybe not as vibrant colors. Not to say that intuitives don't like vibrant colors, but this is just our hypothetical game that we're playing, right? So, just to make it easier for everybody so that we can play along. So we just did, extroverted and introverted, and let's talk about sensing versus intuitive. What would a sensing person want out of our website project? Go ahead. First of all, it would be a very detail oriented plan, reading what we are going to do and what's going to be on each page and what's going to be behind this page and all these things versus the intuitive is like, okay, we'll play along. Right, perfect. So, an intuitive is probably going to talk through the process with you versus a sensing person wants visual representations of each page, I want the skeleton, or the framework, I think is what they call it, webpages, I want to see the framework for each page, and if you can add colors to it, even better, I feel like you have a-- I was actually with my little sister, she was helping me with a website a few years ago, and I think she's very sensing and I'm very intuitive, and she wanted to know what was gonna be on each page and where, and I was like, I want the design to have this, like, feeling. And she was like, that, yeah. Yeah, it didn't relate, it didn't relate. And you had one? Yeah, I feel like a sensing person wants graphs, data, numbers so they can probably come to a rational conclusion or make a decision after going through the website whereas an intuitive person would come at the website and want to experience something. Ooh, show me something that's similar, sure. Or feel like they've stepped into the shoes of somebody else. Actually, I might say that the sensing wants to experience it more so. Because they want to interact, if there's something similar, they want to get in there and talk about what's working, what's not. One thing that I want to point out is also our deadline. Ah, Chris, you were with me on that one. What are you thinking? Well, not even deadline, but say the page itself, somebody's coming to it, right? It might be more of an immediate action, like, take this section out by now versus building the longer term relationship, might be two different ways of-- Genius, love it. And I also think that, personally, just one thing that came to my mind is, I think the sensing person might want quicker deadlines than the intuitive. The intuitive might be okay if things last a little bit longer than planned, they might not even have a plan, but the sensing person might want it yesterday, right? So, let's go to our next one with our website. What would a thinking person wants with this website? Maybe more of like going through a process of developing the website, they would want to, like, I see the structure there, so I was thinking sort of following a process, okay, you give me these mockups, I give them back to you, it's sort of a straightforward thing, whereas the feeler could be a little bit more flexible on the process. Right, absolutely. Well, obviously it would depend on what the website is about, but the thinking person would be designing a website with a certain structure, you go from A to B and if it involves some services, like, this is the type of services we have and this is the prices for each service and so on, versus the feeling person would include, like, the feedbacks, the opinions, the, what is that? From the previous clients. Testimonials. Testimonials, thank you. The testimonials from the previous clients, and they maybe, again, if we're talking about a service oriented website, then probably there would be options, let's talk about that and we will have an option that would suit your needs rather than structured. So the thinker might say, you have these three choices, choose these three choices, versus, the feeler might say, hey, why don't you just drop me a line in the contact form and then we'll talk about your specific situation, that'll be great. Also, I kind of see a difference between a thinker's website might be more like, this is, a very simple website, like fewer pages, versus, the feeler, I feel like, would want to create a website that's a choose your own adventure book, you know, where there's going to be multiple paths to go down, so it's potentially more extensive, because they are thinking about, oh, but what if this type of person comes in, what if this avatar comes in, they may want this, oh, I want them to have the option for this, so we're already coming up with two completely different websites. Now, I'm sure people in the online space and here in the audience are already thinking, wow, if I'm a thinker and they're a feeler, this project is going to suck. So we have to be able to communicate across those lines. Yes? From the other's perspective of the project of creating a website, I feel like a thinker leading a team creating a website would define roles for everyone, define deadlines and structures and have a very clear idea, at least by the end of each meeting, who's going to be doing what and delivering what, whereas the feeler's gonna bring the whole team together, and role's might be more nebulous, it's more of a conversation and collaborative effort than it is that, you know, he or she makes one decision and the next person gets another decision. Right, exactly. I'm go with Chris and then we'll just have to move to the next slide. No problem, you talked about influencing, so say that we're influencing a thinker about how a site should be designed, then heat maps and analytics and why this should be positioned here would make a big difference because that's the data to back it up versus the, see how this feels, this looks good, et cetera, so, how would you use these tactics to influence a member of the team or project manager or whoever else. Right, absolutely. And I think that with the thinker, they will want to look at the analytics and make the changes, and the feeler, even if the analytics don't support that this isn't the right website, they'll go, but I like it so much. And they may not make those necessary changes. And so, with our website, the judging versus the perceiving. What is our perceiver going to want out of this? Well, first thing that I think of is, they may be changing their website every three months. (laughing) Right? What other things do we think about what we'll get out of the website with the perceiver judger? Yes? Similar to what you're saying, I think that the perceiver could drive the judger crazy in the coming up to developing the website because the judger, you know, has those five requirements or they come up with requirements in the beginning, and they're going with those, and then the perceiver says, open new ideas, oh we just had this, let's add this requirement in, or let's change this requirement. So that could. What is that, project scope? [Female Audience Member] Oh scope creep. That's it, scope creep. This is going to be your scope creep, you know, suspect, absolutely, absolutely. Any other thoughts on, so, already you can start to kind of see where the battles are going to begin even before your project has started, and if you can go through this process and, first of all, prepare yourself, that, okay, if I'm a J and they're a P, this is probably gonna happen, that's gonna be okay, and I know that I'm probably gonna get scope creep, so I'm going to create these contingency plans that I have this email prepared for, okay, it's going to cost this much extra and all of that, so I don't have to deal with it in the moment, because I see that this is potentially going to happen. Clifton? I was just gonna say, on your topic of changing the website every three months, what a perceiver might be, you know, I think we should move it this way, whereas, someone who's more of a judger would be doing an A/B analytical testing where they go, we'll present this way, we'll present it this way, we'll see which has the best approach. Exactly, exactly. And then, so your project, as the designer and if you are also doing the marketing A/B testing, it's going to look very different. For the perceiver, you may have to get them to do A/B testing, like that might be your influential uphill battle versus the judger is probably going to walk in the meeting saying, I want to do split tests, absolutely. Other thoughts and questions, any ah ha moments from our cold profiling from the day? You know in the way how you were talking how being prepared, dealing with perceivers and judgers, you're seen a judger because you're talking about being prepared with the emails, with the strategies, with this this, and I'm thinking, it's like, oh my god, there's no way I can do that. (laughing) Well, now we know, we definitely got a P, we definitely have J tendencies. I love it. So, and brilliant, because I just want to highlight how all ready, all of your observational awareness is really amped up because of all this, you're starting to see those connections that perhaps you probably wouldn't have contemplated before. And once you start to see these things, then it's taking that next step of, now how do I influence that person with this knowledge that I have.