Lessons
Class Introduction
03:56 2The 3 Sets of Conclusions
05:37 3Personal Conclusions
05:48 4Social Conclusions
08:40 5Life Conclusions
07:19 6Life Perspective
04:38 7How Your Conclusions Shape Your Personality
08:32 8You Are the Saboteur
07:37Lesson Info
Social Conclusions
Welcome back. Well just to recap. In the last session we talked about your personal conclusions. That is, what is it you've concluded about yourself. And that makes up a fundamental part of this picture that we're creating for you. But it brings us to the next aspect, which is your social conclusions. What are social conclusions? This is basically what it is you've concluded about other people. Now again, just like your personal conclusions, these aren't exactly at the top of your consciousness. It's more like they're kinda in the background for you. It's more like you act upon them, then think about them. However, from time to time, when life isn't going your way you might notice them coming up. Now just like the last section, I'm gonna give you some examples of pretty typical social conclusions that people have come to and how they impact the quality of their lives. And then I'll also share with you my own social conclusions. What is it that I've concluded about other people. But the...
re's a really pivotal point here that I want you to understand. You see in life you're always being one way or another way. So that is to say, you're always you. You're always kind of the typical you. So if you go into your social setting like maybe there's a group of people, maybe a small group of people, three or five people. Or a large setting, there's 20 or 30 or 50 or 100. There's a very typical way that you will act and interact. Sometimes we hear people use the expression being introverted. Or the expression being extroverted. Well, within those paradigms, within both of those ends of the spectrum, there's all these different ways that people might be. So I might be being reserved. I might be being humorous. I might be being analytical. But you'll see they're all very definitively within a certain spectrum. So in your life, if you're somebody who's introverted or extroverted and again those are ends of a spectrum in my opinion. Here's what you'll find. Whatever way you are is based in what you've concluded about other people. So, I'm gonna give you some examples of typical conclusions that we've come to as human beings. Now again you have to bear in mind, these conclusions are indelibly marked with you. You will notice if you examine and give some real thinking to it, the areas of your life where your conclusions about others are right in your face. So very typical ones are people don't listen, you can't trust people. A very common one is people don't care. Or people are dangerous or threatening. And again these conclusions, it won't be all of these, it might be one or two, are at the very core of you. These are the indelible marks on that blank tablet of yours. So if you do go into a social setting, what you're organized around, what you're thinking about, isn't these people. It's what you've concluded about people in general. Your social conclusions. Now why is this important? This is important because as human beings we are in a constant state of observation and judgment. We are constantly observing others and judging others, very very quickly. You've been doing it while watching this video. You've been commenting judgment about my shirt or my hair or my face or my language or the use of my hands. You're in a constant state of observation and judgment. So if you think about it, there you go, you walk into your social setting, and you're observing and you're judging people based on your conclusions. And then there's another part to it. And that other part is where you start to manipulate yourself to shape other people's judgment of you. Because one of the things you're really aware of is that you're not the only one judging. So if you're someone who typically doesn't speak too much in a public setting, that's based in what you've concluded about people. And then you're manipulating yourself to ensure that they see you favorably. And if you're someone who's on the other end of the spectrum. You say a lot publicly, then that's based on what you've concluded about people and then you're using this self-expression, or this outward expression to manipulate what they think of you. And again, what you've concluded about others, it's not a positive thing. It's not people are awesome. And even if you find yourself saying "No! I literally think people are awesome!" Yeah, but what is that overcoming? Which brings me to, what I've concluded about people. You see, the thing with your conclusions is you're always finding evidence for them. So even the things you've concluded about yourself, you're finding evidence and then overcoming it. And then finding evidence and then overcoming it. And you do that with people. And so what I've concluded about people is that people don't care. So when I go out in the city or I go out to a restaurant or I go to the movies or I take my kids out, what I'm constantly seeing going on all around me, my radar is going off for my care meter. Do people care? Do they not care? And so I get annoyed, I start to see only the places where people don't care. And if somebody demonstrates being caring, I'm usually very surprised by it. I usually am kinda shocked that someone would care. So I kinda overindulge myself by thanking them for any little thing that they might do. Why? Because fundamentally I don't think people care. Now I've done a lot of work on myself. I've done a lot of work on my wiring and what makes me tick and I've been able to 'cause breakthroughs in my life beyond those kinda self-limitations. As we get into this, you're going to start to see some really key pieces start to come together. We've already talked about your personal conclusions. That is, what have I concluded about myself? This piece, the social conclusions, well this is what you've concluded about others. When you bring those two together, what you've concluded about yourself and what you've concluded about others, you're starting to get a real sense of what's at the very core of you. What makes you tick. In the next segment, we're gonna deal with what you've concluded about life. Now here's a little something for you to think about. All of these things are pretty negative. I mean if we just walked around with only that on our minds, it'd be a pretty miserable experience wouldn't it? What we're going to get into are the ways that you overcome them. But for now, what I want you to think about, is how to piece together what it is you've concluded about yourself and then to uncover what is it that I've come to concluded about other people? What is it about other people that's at the very foundation of the way that I see them? Join me for the next session.
Ratings and Reviews
Merrily Bjerkestrand
Gary, thank you for sharing your insights and building our understanding by "connecting the dots" of life and living as human beings. Your message and words are powerful and thought-provoking. More importantly, life-changing for those who wish to get out of their box, over their barriers, and live an authentic and genuinely free life beyond the velvet rope. These lessons were paced well and I appreciated the flow of connected thoughts and reasoning. Your message and points are both simple and complex at the same time. They create knowledge and understanding but are only useful if applied and put into action. Just like most of philosophy! You did a great job of identifying steps needed for personal change without reducing the need for individual action. Your bonus message of keeping one's promises to oneself sealed the deal. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
a Creativelive Student
I loved this talk! Much to ponder about our conclusions driving our lives. Our choices. How we can end up on autopilot. And how we start out with so much possibility and by bringing in awareness to our patterns we can begin to open up to operating from possibility instead narrow minded repetition. The multi universe perspective! Love that! I would love a longer more in depth class with Gary. Would be great! Thank you!
Glenys Morgan
I love that Gary is straight to the point and didn't delve into who screwed us up before we reached mid-20's - each of us has a distinct personality and challenges to deal with in our present life. The shortest course on behaviour change but I got so much out of each short segment, read the transcript as well and spent time in self-analysis. Life is one long lesson and often difficult to work through. Staying stuck in a rut is far more difficult. Thanks Gary, excellent class. And thanks to Creative Live for all the amazing classes that expand my gray matter!