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1Mastering the Art of Non-Style

Forget everything I told you not exactly, but there's that idea of you have to know the rules to know how to break the rules, right? Because if you don't have what the rules are, those guidelines and you're probably not going to be daring enough to try some of the things that that you might want to try so even designers often break the rules. I've seen interviews with the designers and one time I was being interviewed back to back to a whole bunch of other designers and we all thought we were being so creative because the interviewer said what's the one design rule that you like to break in every single person of all of them, said ag, recall the rules that was the most boring video ever because there were like twenty people saying I break all the rules and we thought we were being clever, but I think that's really true about designers, we break the rules because we know what the rules are and we know that we don't break all of them at the same time and we can decide which ones have the...

most impact by breaking them in any particular space. So that's why we've set the ground rules, we've set the guidelines, we've told you what your style is and now you can start doing what I would call pushing the envelope a little bit, stepping outside of some of those maybe rigid guidelines that we've set and really making a house you're so we're going to talk about the e word that we've been joking about but you know, a lot of people really do have a style that would truly be called eclectic makes sense to them so it's okay to have this we've joked about it but it's not that you can't ever again in your lifetime say eclectic or someone's going to shame you this really can be a style that if it makes sense if it's not just a a catch all word for I'm going to put a whole bunch of stuff together that may or may not work together, we want you to be much more mindful about it than that so s so how do we start embracing this idea of mixing lots of things so that we don't necessarily see a very prominent style and that some of us are going to want to see a very prominent style some of us, jenna and me we're going to want to see a very specific style showing up there that's how we identify ourselves and our interiors but some of us are really going toe want to embrace the mix more than ever and they're gonna want it to look like every single thing came from a different place so yesterday you were commenting on one of the interiors that you really liked and I said the most haphazard looking interiors air actually probably some of the most edited or planned interiors in a lot of ways and that's really what we're going into in this segment. So how do we really start ignoring some of those guidelines to benefit us? Well, I think that the best and most interesting homes today and the ones that we love in a lot of interior magazines, shelter magazines and on the web are not cookie cutter, they're not a room that looks like we went to the local furniture showroom in about every single thing that goes together as a designer. Sometimes when we go to market, you know, like the furniture market, we have to be able to see beyond, say, a certain collection because maybe one manufacturer makes everything that's lacquer our makes everything that has an asian influence or makes everything that's super traditional, and we know we're not going to buy all of those things and put him in one room we're going to pick a piece or two and blend them in with other things so that they look really interesting it's about the mix of old and new so even if you don't love antiques, still think about putting some things in your home that are at least vintage what vintages twenty five, twenty years, twenty years and older so something that maybe is from your childhood things that your mom had when you were growing up, or that your grandmother had that you noticed that are in that realm of twenty years and what what constitutes an antique? Is there a magic member? No, I don't think so, but I think it's something maybe the earlier nineteen hundreds for the eighteen hundreds, I agree that's what I think of two so s o nineteen hundreds, eighteen hundreds, probably antique things in the the range between their up to twenty years ago or really what fall into that vintage categories of mid century things fall into the vintage category. So whether you like antiques or you like vintage, either one can really add a lot of interest to your home, and I encourage you to start adding some of those things that I even had to develop this part of myself because I was prone to just buying new things all the time because of the styles that I love that are much more clean and edited it's easier to accomplish that, and I was being lazy, often by just buying new things. But when I started getting my work published a lot and working with clients that had collections, I had read a lot of pressure from people. To say what's you know what's unique about these projects what's not cookie cutter about your project show us the things that are old shows the things with a story this was years ago when I was younger and it really encouraged me to go out and go there right? I need some personality in this space and I'm going to get that with mixing the old and the new it certainly we've talked about heritage and modern collected casual, formal and casual but a mix is the most interesting so can you skillfully mix a lot of these things in your own home to create a personality that unique tio I know with my house even with my new house I'm really focusing on bringing in more unique items and taking my time with a lot of times we're also really in a hurry right to get the rooms we just want it done we want to get the whole house done so we don't have to think about it anymore and I think you're going to lose a lot of interest in seoul in that situation too, because the best interior tells a story as we've talked about this is that line I was reading yesterday the best interior design tells a story, shows a personality and provides a history of a life and a family I love this and how are you showing that in your own home if you're just going out and purchasing everything new right now, you're not really doing this net later on again in a couple of generations, they may be a way well, to tell a story with the things you purchased so it's okay to buy any things, but think about how to blend it all if you really want this eclectic idea and a style that reflects you uniquely and not anyone else, so ask yourself if your home is reflecting you and the people that live in it, how many or any of you feel like your home is not currently doing that? Sally says, yes, we've got two yeses I were here, anybody out here feel like your home's not currently really reflecting who you are thinking about it this way too? Sometimes your home reflects who you are five years ago or ten years ago, but maybe it doesn't reflect who you are now, because don't we change a lot and even five or ten years? So that doesn't mean we get rid of everything that we have, but I think about myself, so ten years ago I had no children because my daughter's eight ah, and I was just, you know, really starting my business, I've been married for almost twelve years, so it's a newlywed a lot of things are different now ten years later when I have an eight year old I've had my business now for fifteen years I've been married for almost twelve I'm a very different person than I was ten years ago it doesn't mean that the things I had then don't still reflect a piece of me but have I continued toe add things in that reflect money, new interest or new hobbies or places I've traveled since then so ask yourself that question is anybody thinking that maybe they could do some things that could better reflect said tell me about that what could you was not reflected in your household right now I think when I went through the process of renovating that house it was really old I had maybe a little bit less of a sophisticated knowledge are what I liked so through the process of buying and hunting and by the time our is all done maybe two years in I think my style changed right that room I showed you I don't like that room at all there's nothing they don't like any of that besides the art there's nothing in that room I would keep that I mean my style has definitely changed um I like a cleaner I want to walk in and feel it's clean and light and fresh so how would you go about changing the pieces you have to do that evening? I just I think he could think about recovering some of those pieces of furniture and as you were saying, you know, people don't want to do that sometimes, but it's like those chairs with the arms never buy so they're not the right chairs and rather by name and a space is small so I really need smaller scale not something that branches out to give it a little bit more usable space, right? Well, I think you're right that that happens to a lot of people and certainly our our taste has become more sophisticated over time and that doesn't mean we were unsophisticated before it just means we get educated were exposed to things we didn't know about before and so we developed this it's almost like when you start become a foodie or you enjoy wine your palate gets more sophisticated than more ones that you taste so it's that same idea and that's going to happen to everybody even happens to designers and and you can look back I did a fund presentation not too long ago toby, through the years I think I even did that in the color a class a little bit that shows where I was when I was in my twenties and the really bright, bold color and it was usually on the wall and then as I got older the walls became beige but the color moved into fabrics and other things so we're all going to have that kind of evolution so going home now it's a little frustrating to write because you're like oh now how you feel a budget issue or kind of fill wasteful to get rid of some of those things I feel very wasteful so then look for other people in your family that maybe could use those pieces are sometimes you can find another place in your house to use them creatively but so it's going to be fun hopefully when you leave here for you to go home and a little piece of a time just start introducing mohr of you and you don't have to go home and get rid of everything a lot of people say great I came to your class and now want to get rid of every single thing in my house and by the way my husband is going to hate you because I'm gonna want all new stuff and a whole bunch of money and you know that we can't do that but you can add a piece at a time my starting to show that personality and tell your story so you achieve that mix as we've said with antiques found objects, collected items and newly purchased furnishing so hammond what pieces do you all think work better when they're new? I think there's some pieces of furniture that are better when their new I think the polls upholstery agree to so probably even though you could have an antique chair, that's, maybe a side chair or something sitting at a desk, certainly the things you sit on all the time, you're going to want to be new, right? But thinking of other things that are collected and also have people who sometimes think I well, I can't afford antiques. I can't buy a chest or secretary, so I'll just have to wait until I'm older to buy antiques, but there's, so many other things you can collect, I collect vintage cake plates, one of the things I want to collect and haven't started yet. Our oyster plates, I love the vintage oyster plates and I look so great hanging on the wall so there's small things that you can start buying that really introduce your personality in little bitty ways, just like my vintage grapes that my friend gave me that is just starting to build this collection of things that are found objects or old, mixed with name. It doesn't mean that you have no style, it means you have your style also. So when you start bringing all of these things together, what we're gonna want you to think about is what's common about them, and we talked a little bit about this yesterday, so sometimes we think, oh, I just have a hold on, just stuff, and you're not even noticing that actually, I have a whole lot of stuff that is a certain color or a certain finish or a certain style, so I'd love for you to go back and start looking at all the things that you have with a critical eye and asking yourself not only what's in khan, what do I have? What does this have in common with other things that I love, but also asking yourself if it is something that you really love because I also teach my client's toe only keep things in their house that they truly love any of you have things in your house right now that you feel obligated to keep, for some reason or another yes, wedding presents wedding presents vintage it's, a victorian table but you lifted up and it actually is a chamber pot in it, huh? And I had no idea why somebody gave me this antique, but I have it and it's worth something, but it doesn't go anywhere. So is this person someone you see all the time? Not anymore, but I but you have to bring it out when it comes to get you know, get out because if it that's funny so there are some things we don't want to hurt other people's feelings, but at the end of the day this is your home, so if it's really obtrusive if it's in the way if it's taking up space that you could gain some other kind of function, I really encourage people to try to detach from that a little bit because I don't think most know there are some people who would get offended if they think we gave away what they gave us but most people want us to enjoy things and I try to purchase things for us that they think will add to our quality of life so asking yourself those questions about do you know do now if that person watching, they're probably really mad at you right out there like I thought that was the best present ever and now you don't like it, so we've let the cat out of the bag. But you know, really I have clients a lot of times that have huge collections of things from what I've worked for one family, five different members of this one family so a niece tio two cousins there the two moms that air sister and loss of worked in five different households of one family and the grandmother was amazing not only collector but shopper, and she bought all of this crystal and all of these things, and she handed him down to everyone and so I have a whole family of people that have all of these collectibles, some of them they really love and some they down, but they feel really obligated to keep all of them, and so we had to go through that whole process of of getting detached from some of those things that's asking ourselves, do I love this? Or do I feel obligated to use this? Because they're they're totally different things, but what can you bring into your house? What do you love and what is your style? So hope you're starting to even take it a step further. Loosen the reins a little bit of my style, toby, just tell me my stylist classic traditional it's actually a lot more than that, so I hope you're starting and I might even want you some of you be thinking about because I'd love free some of you to tell me in a few minutes what other things you think play into your style besides just the words that we've given me that might be tricky, but I'll help you, um so there's no longer a certain style that must be followed with regard to the best interior design, so just in the same way that fashion almost anything goes these days because trends or so sure we're going to talk about translator it's the same with interiors really anything can work and you know we used to have I have clients say, oh my gosh, I have to get rid of all my brass because brass is out and I would always say to them but if you love brass brass is not out and I never lost a love for brass always thought it was great but some people felt so insecure because I thought this is dated, people are going to think they don't know what they're doing they couldn't use it and that's the case for lots of things well really the lines have been very blurred now because trend cycles air so short and really anything works as long as it works for you just like in fashion you know, we used to have all of this is the year of the stila but this is a year of the stacked heel this is the kitten heel now you see every hell type that there is in any given season, right? And it just depends on your personal style exactly the same thing for interiors ah well edited room really needs to look like it's been collected over time even if it was done quickly so we've talked about this a lot but asking yourself about your own house and seeing if you're achieving that mix let's look at a few examples of this on our left early pinterest board anybody have any ideas yet about what their style? Maybe besides I four categories and you can use any word that you like is it nostalgic? Is it, um you know, we haven't used words like contemporary yes, right. My chi chi says I would describe my style as neglected that was the best one you know, there's people who say, oh my god and I think one of you even said that somebody somebody that I deal with often says their style is early attic or early garage so, uh, julie, did you say something about that describes vintage garage so but so so that's it part of your style so it's not just my style is classic traditional it's vintage garage sale it's all of these things that you find and I've heard from other people that know you outside of this scenario that have said that you have exquisite taste in your collections air amazing so we'd love to see some of of your interiors but let's look at a few ideas on pinterest that really start to show an eclectic mix, which is fun so we want to be thinking about and not everybody's going toe like this approach, but a lot of people will because it gives you the freedom to really be uniquely you anything you like, depending on how you edit it and how you present it can start to work in the space together. So I think this is a fun example, a really interesting when actually what what kind of thoughts do you all have about this room? Based on what we've learned so far? What do you see happening in this space? Large scale, everything the pieces also big, particularly that what this table seems over scale doesn't as faras, though a mix of style could you pinpoint any specific style that this one wass of the four choices that we had classic cool, sophisticated, it's kind of everything, right? So this is a person who's, really, and you can still see their personality in it through the choice of using neutrals as opposed to color, you know there's other things that start to show up, but this is truly unique. Mix what I would consider eclectic now some people would consider eclectic something that almost looks more like that artistic traveler like more rustic. This is pretty polished and it's pretty formal in a lot of ways, but we see very classic architecture. We see an art deco table, we see a very modern, you know, modern or with some hints of mid it's been sit mid century to the chair, we see a very classic and ornate french chest very clean lined and more art deco mirror the sculpture is really contemporary so its current or you know, it may be even probably a little bit of eighties flavor to that we've got an air mass blanket which in some instances is classic but to other people it's really trendy because they're used often and then we've got this really casual rug but I actually think yeah, we might we could split hairs and say ok, that white table is actually the wrong skill for this year but for the massport I think this interior works I think this this person living in the space is probably really confident about these choices, but I love that we can't pinpoint it is a specific style so really nice example of an eclectic space ok here's another one totally different but what what we see happening in this space? What styles so so the ah the chandeliers very leans toward that art deco or even mid century the chairs are very traditional styling, but they're done in a metal brass so that makes them more modern or glamorous think of the artistic trouble yeah, they have that a little bit of a global field to the patterns the artwork is very cool modern it's it's very clean it's modern art the flooring and the cabinetry is almost cottage, isn't it? This is a design by kelly wearstler so very famous designer and she's mixed many, many different things in this space to reflect the client so if you were going to think about what you think this person would be like the person who lives in this space, what would you think from their personality? Do you think it's a male or a female? I think it's you know why I just think it's older, older, interesting maybe it's because maybe the things on the table look a little bit fussy perhaps so it wouldn't it be fun to know who really owns this space that's kind of the idea behind looking at an antique and imagining who had it before I love to look at an interior so I would love for you to start thinking this way about your own home if you looked at or gave someone else if we took one of each of your rooms and put them up there and we didn't necessarily know they were your sitting in this audience and we just put him up there how would we describe your space when we say it was a person that was older, young male or female? You know? Does it look like it came from a furniture showroom or is it an interesting mix and a photo tells a lot when you can't have the story behind it you can make a lot of assumptions came ok look at this one I love this very very daring, isn't it? Bold looks like a man's house to me I think it looks like a man's ass even though has a pink pink who else thinks this looks masculine radio very social people there in the house would be married couples may be a man and a woman but there's usually a dominant personality someone who's making the decisions more than the other. It would be interesting to know what we're going to say sally it's just very theatrical I think more than met milo fame all it's extremely like it's very fabulous the pink I can imagine many looks like I sand in it o r r yeah, that doesn't that's cool and so to me and it has a feeling of a museum quality of collections because these air very specific chairs from a certain period that air modern even pop art esque the really contemporary table this is a french chair but it has a really fun modern pattern on it. Did you have a question all right comment I was going to say do you know the eyes like this old model cole carmen something she's like this very famous model the house like her white hair and she's always wearing red lipstick I just feel like I guess he see and they say so even glamour's what you're seeing from a lot of glamour but this one is a little more I mean it it maybe has a little bit more of a specific style and it probably falls under the glamour more than anything but there's a lot of different things happening in this space so it's certainly a mix okay, let's look at this lots of juxtaposition here we have a chesterfield so phone one side we have a very modern sofa opposite on both sitting on an oriental rug that is traditional as as they come and then a collection of posters which are really again more um pop artist more young and they're probably french in in origin the posters but still they seem really young they seem creative we've got a very rustic buffet mercury glass lamps it's a total mixture bear window it is but a really classic interior architecture what mix of two styles to people maybe so maybe it's yeah you blink they blended and what did they do? What makes this space work what's the when I say there's a point of reference what would you say the orange red color that moves around the whole space that's exactly right and there's a there's a secondary color that's working in there to black yep very eclectic though brave very, very brave. A lot of times I see spaces like this that use this much color coming from some european countries even more than america do you see that j k like germany there's there's some certain countries that make really bold textiles income pigmentation and color so I can see this even italian there's several styles look at the coffee table on the little fight table almost cottage with little hand painted details the sofas really really clean in the chair with track arms and then the molding is very very ornate so certainly a mixed but this comes off feeling more glamorous than anything else to me that's a dining table and it has a collection of different chairs and cities really interesting that in and of itself though even though some of the pieces the city and the chair in the front are very traditional it again feels like a museum type collection to me which comes off as that modern or urban urban cool but the architect very traditional and the chandelier very traditional take on that one toby I'm interested that I've done that dining chairs but they're all the same chair but completely different colors but I've never thought of using completely different I've seen people use completely different tiers usually they have a little bit more relation to one another than these these air so far out but I think I'm so interested in can appreciate interiors like this even when they're there not something I would do in my own house I love that this person is doing exactly what we're talking about in this section which they're mastering the art of the non style because it is their style and it would be so I think this person would be fun tio know exactly who they are and what their personalities because I think they would be very daring, very bold, almost even the life of the party in some instances, don't you think if they could put all those things together and really not care of anybody else thought it was cooler that it worked together, so really, really confident I think here you want to invitation to that dinner, you would, and then you want to get to pick the chair that you said you wouldn't want the chair that you're sitting in to reflect your personality, and it would be frustrating if you were a traditionalist possibly and had to sit in when our maybe it would be fun, because just for that night, you could pretend you were really cool. Arben, even though you new york traditionalist cause you're sitting in this lake chair. But how much fun is that? And are any of us having? I will have to ask ourselves that question. Are we having that much fun in our interiors? Are we having our re letting our hair down that cease, um, knows that we let it and and even you're a version of this much fun is there anything a place in your house that you're not taking yourself so seriously? Could you just go wild even if it's in the powder room that very few people going could you pick the low while this color of paint or wallpaper something that just really pushes you out of your comfort zone? Tau have fun and how many of you think you could do that or have already done that? Anybody already done that? Ok, tell us what she did in my closet. I painted it hot pink and put black stripes in there it's a very traditional home but I chose the closets and the little nook areas too do something crazy and that's where you're glamour girl comes in and it is still traditional cause I did black black molded designs which ties into classes like a blood melding like pain boxes. Yes, yeah, I did black paneling teresa, you said you did tio same thing in my closet because my home is also very traditional and neutral colors but my claws and my contractor laughed he says are you sure you want to do this? I said yes so have leopard carpet on the floor powder blue walls and then a little chandelier on the ceiling and it's just it wasn't expensive or elaborate but it makes such a difference so to both of you find that that is your favorite room in the half what's one of my favorite spaces for sure so the interesting question to me is what keeps you from making your whole house that exciting tio what what makes a living can't live in it but I like to go visit yeah that's why it's like so you almost get to be a different personality when you just when you go into that space for a little will you let your hair down way closet because it artistic travelers I don't know I think that's fun but I love this kind of thing that really the psychology behind if that's so exciting what would bring bring that much excitement or pleasure to the rest your house and maybe it is the perfect mix already and you love the rest the house the way is this sometimes it begs the question to say what could we do to mix it up in other spaces that really were made us more confident and more daring and other spaces in our home? Well, I think if I was single my bedroom would be a lot more glamorous than it is but being married tio a very conservative guy it's yeah yeah I haven't tell I help my husband's not washington's I haven't told him yet that we're gonna have some pink and our news cycle through uh ok, what about this face this this lanes towards feeling pretty traditional right? But there's a lot of other stuff happening in this space too so he ended up you want to clean it up so much is happening every day for me collected can certainly fall into that category but you know there's other people that their whole comfort is that their whole personality finds comfort in this kind of space a library things books objects that they love surrounding them so again that's where your own unique personality comes in one way or the other it's got a few more of these pretty modern for the most part so maybe that one's not as a collective that's just collecting different things really more within that one style but it certainly could it could reflect their personality the apple and this fun piece of artwork I love this one question from bethany that is sort of reverberating a little red around and that is what happened to tie these theory from yesterday that to be successful spice or to be at least sixty percent one style they guess what? She's just trying to work out how these guys slipped around that and still pulls this is that breaking the rule but a lot of times when you go underneath it you're still seeing percentages now this is an example of the people who you know there's always those people in life you don't want to live by the rules so for most of us were still going to find comfort, like most of you said this morning about it gives me comfort to know who I am and to identify some the best of us are still going to fall into the category of wanting to know that we're sixty percent or that we have some guidelines and rules, but there's always those rebels out in the world that do the things that the rest of us wish we could do, and that's what this is talking about, the art of the non style, the people who are able to really create something that's uniquely them it's, not for everybody and it's probably going to be if you were just trying to accomplish this on your own, and this was your starting point, and you didn't know any of the rules, I think it would be really difficult to get there, and I think you would air on the side of having a whole lot of things that ended up being what the rest of us call eclectic that doesn't end up working together. So I think these air probably pretty skilled people that have created these rooms or their, you know, very confident people in a little more on the rebellious side, so as I said yesterday, sixty percent is a guy blind, but none of these air hard fast rules they're not rigid and if your personality is the kind of doesn't want to fit into that mold if you really crave something that's more of a mixed in there that I want you know would encourage people to go for that does that make sense to you guys so most of us but most of us are not going to have interiors like these some of us will have aspired a hat bring a little bit of this flavor to our house I love this love this yellow the nation chandelier especially that's a good question though a few more of these do you enjoy ll is this helping you do you enjoy looking at thes and understanding why I love that I actually really loved this one I could live with this style in my own home actually what I noticed is I love the the modern chair a more traditional sofa blue and white where on the the very traditional antique chair a really modern or contemporary presentation of artwork very low coffee table and even this global looking rug so again this is a beautiful eclectic mix but I think it's really easy on the eye nothing's really shocking that things really offensive for the most part it's it blends the lines of each piece really speak to each other what what else do you what do you think connects this space? What do you see that's cohesive about this I actually really liked it a lot of frames on the war or exactly the same size of the images within the moral completely differently proportions that's a great the matching is very different from the image of the small but so your eyes drawn to the symmetry but it's not symmetrical yeah it's really interesting well and I think that the black the black and the artwork speaks to the black to the tape in the table I think the the warm really contemporary leather chair is really beautifully speaking to the warm wood tones of that very or night antique piece though ah, lots of lots of things aaron harmony here they have synergies between them even though they're a mix of styles I think this is a really beautiful ah beautiful example of an eclectic approach that most people could feel really comfortable with it's not those weird at it really out of the box rebellious interiors like the gold hand chairs it's something much more subtle and I think this is closer to a real life example that some of us could approach our embrace and are in him this is kind of what this morning are in one of the other examples that um we were talking about the yes she was saying that if the hair there were black chairs on the end that's really kind of what you were alluding to earlier so in those or even french traditional chairs so they really blend the styles together here the chairs and then the lamp in the center are much more traditional and then we looked at this one yesterday so what what's coming to mind here with this idea of mixing things up? Are any of you feeling like you would want to introduce the more of a mix in yourself? It would that be a goal to any of you to really have your style be something that people couldn't put their finger on? Do you like to be with sally? Does sally wants to be eating more mysterious or a little? I don't like the color you know I like more the eclectic click with more than newt pounds so that when we were just looking at was that this one would be more of a representation of yourself, something that you could relate tio really beautiful, I think and classic and a lot of ways ok, so let's go I can't remember if we have other slides, but we're going to see uh it'll be a surprise if we don't and we'll talk more about this go back to the it's interesting the way the people in the chat rooms particularly are connecting and so it was almost exclaiming, oh my goodness, I never thought of that particular the image where you showed to very, very opposite different couches but they're in the same place that that seemed to resonate with few people and I just never thought of that hasn't there people saying well, hang away is that what you would do or again of a style rebels? Somebody else made the comment I think this echoes actually what he's been saying if you like it then it works and that's what I was about to say that my favorite part about this section of the reason that I think it is so important is as a designer I can bring you lots of guidelines and tips and tools but I think when you're doing your own home went when those limiting beliefs sneak into your head those voices of am I doing this right? You crave rules and guidelines and you need that validation that you know what would toby doerr what would the people that really knew what they were doing do? And I think this is an important conversation to say you know what? A lot of times they would do what they liked and that there are no hard fast rules so we gave you guidelines because people crave those and we need structure to help us even you know, get started on the project sometimes so we're not in that analysis paralysis so this is the process that I've moved you to through hopefully of ok, I'm paralyzed or I don't really think that stuff is working so toby's going to give me guidelines and I could go back and go oh, she said sixty percent maybe of one style and thirty of another. What does that look like for me? But as you get more comfortable with that and like the pros would do, then you start going, but you know what I know, she said this was the rule, but I have this piece. It looks really great with this, they make sense together, I'm going to be daring enough to put that in the space because it reflects me so that's, where you have toe know some guidelines and rules to be able to break them in a way that works because haphazard breaking becomes the stuff, the hodgepodge that doesn't work. But I'm really, um, a really intentional approach to introducing things that reflect your personality that you feel good about in the space is a great way for you to really start expressing who you really are seems like you haven't you have another comment that was just a also know actually love to get your comment on this julia's well, that toby thompson world is saying that seems to me that the theme of all of this is always fear. The people you know want to take that step, but but they're frightened of different things that thompson world is saying they're scared of getting rid of things crystal, pewter, antiques and said because part because they don't know what they're worth, but also they've been passed down from generations and they feel therefore, in a way, I may be obliged to hang on to the meat center, but they don't know what to do with them. They don't necessarily fit their taste. I mean, this is where I think you need to get over that fear, maybe bring in on antiques expert. So you get really well and that's anything I was just about to say so a lot of things that we say that called us back are really excuses. So well, I would love to really make my interior fit me. But I have all of this stuff in my house and I don't know what it's worth. Okay, then go find out how much it's worth have someone come tell you if it's worth anything to you and then also start asking yourself the question. How valuable is it to you? Because things maybe there's a difference between you valuing something and something having a monetary value and it doesn't mean you just get rid of it, maybe you sell it or are you give it to someone else in your family that would really love it, but I hope that most of you are not decorating out of obligation that's a great way to obligation is not going tio equal an interior that really reflects your personal style. So how many of you feel like you have a few chains on your little ball on jane coming from your mother or your grandmother or something? Some people feel this way not because of heritage, but just because they're they're more frugal, they're more conservative, they don't want to be wasteful sometimes it's being iko friendly, which we, you know is a wonderful thing to do I'm certainly not saying to be wasteful and and put things in a landfill, but maybe more find someone else that could use this in their home in a different way. I was going to add to that the mother in law which you know when when you've been given something that was granny's not your granny's penney's and then when you say, oh, you know, but where's granny's chair and you say, well, it's not working for me right now, do you understand how valuable that is and you're thinking yourself pretty sure during pressures no, but you have that other and then and then you can often get family pressure toe have something out and you just completely surely no one that I have done so my husband jokes and says, when we got married like someone else. So you said your husband had all of these mauve, uh, things in his home? Well, so did mine, so I don't know what it is with with single men and involved, but my husband had the same situation, but they were not things that were important to him, but he did have a few pieces a furniture that were important to him that his grandfather had made, and one is that great black roundtable that you've all seen in my family room that we had for the last show with the orange and black room, not a door, that table, but there's some other things that he made that I don't love so much, so I didn't feel obligated to keep ten tables. I felt very comfortable saying I like this one, and I'm so happy that he made it. I'm glad we can think of him every time we see it, so I made I made a choice amongst the things that were there that that had sentimental value, but I didn't feel an obligation to keep all of them so sometimes we have to make some short some difficult choices like that and explain to the other person I'm keeping this because it's so important to me, and I would not want tio, you know, tio keep all of these others when somebody else in the family could be joint enjoying them too and there's tactful ways to get around that, but most the time it's our own securities and fears of what someone might do and assumptions. And we were really a lot of times, those air unfounded you might find that later on, you've kept something for forty years in your living room, and you mention it to someone and I go, oh, my gosh, I've hated that thing for years that's why I gave it to you you should have just told me that you hated it. I can't the last thought you loved it that was just trying to give it a new home. So, you know, sometimes we make assumptions in that way do you find that people hang on this stuff? Because they think one day it's going to get value without value? Never appreciated you think this horror, I think that's very, very yeah, you know, most the time that's the case except for very serious collectors. Most of the time, things aren't going to appreciate instead to such a valuable place that it's really going to make a difference in the grand scheme of your your net worth or your well being. So, you know, it really has to be a combination of, isn't. Is it monetarily valuable, but is it valuable to you? Do you enjoy it? Do you love it to get pleasure out of it?