Lessons

Lesson Info

Work/Life Balance

Actually welcome here. You welcome me that you own this place now is at your joint. This place is awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Fantastic, very much. Well, thank you for inviting me to come in. Your last segment here was just getting the low down from everybody. All your people in there saying they wanted to be one mohr day. When? A whole nother day from you that's crazy. You've been firehose of information. So what? What is it? What is it you guys want that you didn't get just more time. More business, more business there's that d word again. Post more business, more post way that time constraints. You're like, okay? And that's done white or suddenly added about fifty more thing. The ones that you can talk about, all that just appeared way didn't photograph it, though. And put it on that. Yes, well, deserve to decipher what? But that's kind of this's all super important. And if there's any feedback for anybody online of you know, as we enter intro in this last segment before we wrap ...

this up and I thought, yeah, work flow the that's part of the a plan you know, this is an ongoing experiment basically what we're trying to pipe out as much information as much education from rock stars like you and there's something beautiful about the organic nature of it I mean that's part of the deal is you get to see everything that's going on mistakes that even our production mistakes the live environment is really I think compelling but we get to go go down little side channels sometimes sometimes those take away from the big picture and which is you know what we're hearing from you guys but the feedback is also helps us make more because we're obviously going to have you back so well, you know well, the construct bigger, better cooler classes as we go so so this is we're not defining are pretending to have to find anything we're tryingto trying to figure it out. So you're saying these were just the first three days, right? Next time you get to crank it up know what was your favorite part so far? Oh my gosh a favorite part like I'm really bad every day, you know? Yeah, exactly is really good at ducking them tio yes becomes that was like a good you should know I also loved I love the shooting of the kids I love the you know, just kind of lets respond in the moment worse kissner terrible everything what you make of it I do love that I like the challenge of that and I really enjoyed the business segment I do think that could have been two full days just as is andi I thought we were when we sat down and said three days like hi that's twenty mean I'm stunned that it flew like that yeah, I think I think most of the folks that have sat in your seat where you're sitting right now and have have kind of presented these weekend kind of master classes there's this sentiment that oh my god, how am I possibly going to feel it so much material and then they're saying the same thing as you are at the end like I wish we had another day I wish you know it's inevitable but that's why we're gonna be back three but it is the two days that we did before that special dono what about you get off they're shooting we're going out to dinner after this we're gonna hang out and I want to get a lot of feedback from you but before we do that you got some work to do here, so tell us what we're headed right now, okay? Well it's slightly unbelievably ironic that we're going to squeeze in work life balance because that's what we're going to talk about next we had initially allotted three hours for it to really give it a respectful space and an amount of time to speak to it and I think we have something like forty five minute twenty four, twenty four minutes twenty four minutes well, if we're going to five thirty yeah, I just might yeah we'll find out the producers will probably crack the whip if we need to wrap up sooner than that but maybe we pushed for forty five and if we get a tomato thrown an asshole cut it short but I should probably add that I know that there's a ticker at the bottom of the folks at home's screen for when your class goes up two different price so now might be a time and aziz, you guys probably know where you if you don't know you should this is an absolute start up where we're basically or you would not believe what it takes to make this happen and so we do you need a certain cross section view to purchase this thing to keep going so there's little ticker down there to remind you without further ado let's talk about work life balance you tell me about it cause I probably a lesson or two and then yeah, how do you do it all would be the title of our keynote speaker, okay, yeah, I'm gonna try to do this pretty quickly um basically I think the most of us are here because we actually love our work and yet we know that's not all of who we are okay? So I'm on this and it's slipping okay? And I also want o dio big thank you also to you chase for just the initial in my hand the conversation in the idea of all of it like you know, between my first talk with craig was was about we want to keep this wide open and then you were like I said, well, this might be kind of crazy and you're like everything I've ever done start out with like this might be kind of crazy e I guess if you're not doing that sort of stuff, then you know why our how is your work or your vision or your attitude different than everybody? Else's and it's not always about working more sometimes it's about working smarter or or different and I think that's when things that we're trying to live here and it's obviously one of things that you've done really, really well in your business thank you yeah and I think that's exactly true because I mean you hear the phrase turn around about quantity versus quality at all that's for stuff but there's it's an absolute truism about the idea of when you are in it be so in it and give what you have and just because something's always been done that way doesn't mean that's the way you should be doing it or you specifically should be doing it I think there's some heritage you need to pay attention to and some respect for the the past but that's part of what's helped me in my career is doing things different and trying to find ways to un invent and break break the models I mean even creative live is breaking them on what you're doing right now pumping out free education to the world sharing all your secrets is is pretty innovative so yeah, I think that was part of that when you think about what the draw of this is as an instructor it's like the idea too completely create your own curriculum that is, you know, ok it's never been like we've never the whole idea the way we did the videotape and showing the kids and flip back between his face and then my reaction and this the ad a camera on what we do with processing and why we did it to back up a little bit did you see that little expression pop up? I mean that's like dreamy stuff for any anybody who loves to teach you know absolutely and and I think that's one of things that, um I would love to share and I feel like, you know, I've talked about this a little before is we're trying to live this thing that we're talking to you guys about about doing things differently and it's it's not something at least it's may sound calculated but calculated is the wrong word it's like a it's more of an ad attitudinal shift that you have to think if you're going in like if you're gonna swing you might as well you know, take a hack for the events you know swing, swing, swing big and not necessarily big is not defined by how many clans how much money but it's defined by you whatever the thing is that you want to do well might as well you know, you might as well try and do it as well as you can work like bounces erotic again the part that I was talking about about that we're living what we're talking about is this this trying to do things different than it has been done but I want to hear a little bit from you on this specifically because I know I have plenty of lessons to learn how are you doing with this thing here? Well, you know honestly I like I do most things my life I had to stop trying to just make it like occur they just wait for it magically happen and I actually had to study it and get and figure it out like, what is everybody if you are doing it right or you have some ideas that we have some insight teach me your way, way I probably have read as many books on time management now as I have about photography not just time management but way's teo impact the people you're with in a meaningful fashion very specifically with my children but the idea that if mommy's gonna be in seattle for five days, how do I make that not be mommy's ripped out of my life for five days? You know what? What ways can you also being individual whether your mom or a dad or just a person in a valuable relationship you know, how can you be the best form of yourself for that person but also be true to what's really important to you? Because I don't believe at least not for me and my life, I don't believe that I'm going to be a terrific a person for everybody else if I'm not satisfied like if I don't go after the things that are really compelling and I don't think that makes me selfish, I think that makes me someone who has more to give to the people I care about. Yeah that's that's very well said and then I don't know if you'll write that down or not, but if you didn't, you should maybe think of it yeah wait a new sales person right there they have left I'm sure craig will tell us, but yeah, the that I think there's something that is very eloquent with what you just said of giving, like making the best world for yourself so you can make the best world for others and sometimes I feel like, um I get an inordinate amount of correspondence of incoming correspondents of email and whatnot and I try and respond as much as possible, but hopefully the reason people are paying attention to what it is I'm doing is because I'm doing that well not I'm a good emailer, right? So when when you gaze or thinking about work life balance thinking about the things that that that makes you a great whatever it is that you do and try and focus on that highlight your strength whether than trying to improve all your weaknesses we've all got our weaknesses right? But that that work life balance and prioritising the things that are important to you making those things important again I'm a little bit what is that kettle pot calling kettle black or something? Yeah, but but you know, along those lines that you know and in order to amount of course, but it's coming your way is that something that you find that you feel guilty about? I'm not the correspondents I enjoy the trying not getting back to enough yeah definitely definitely and and I just try and kind of aggregate that and either shoot behind the scenes of something if I get a lot of questions about it and we do a pretty good job on my staff can helps out a lot with that so um it's it's just a desire to help us many people in the photography space is possible because everybody's way and also have like time with kate totally and we were all on this together I mean I've said that before uh historically there was a lot of really invigorated competition between photographer specifically and there's a kind of old guard and old mentality of secrecy and whatnot and I think this forum the fact that you're sharing your work life balance stories that these guys and with the world like we all stand to benefit for that you know, and keeping in mind that that's if we don't keep up with that we're hurting not just ourselves but our industry so yeah yeah, you know, along those lines when I'm looking at this I do believe like balance what is balance you know? Is it the traditional sense his mind spirit, body heart or is it you know, peace like peace inside and when I asked about and connections being feeling connected to people managing your schedule and I also feel like you're fulfilling things that matter, I'm not you know that that top part feels very tough to reach that bottom part breaks it down a little bit more in a way we can digest so if and the reason I asked about if you felt guilty is because that you know I don't have the same matter correspondence you get and I feel guilty about not being up to keep up and I need to recognise you know, if if for me I need the peace part to be able to feel good about everything I am going for because I'm going to suck it the things I'm going for if I feel like crap inside all the time I need to pay attention to the things that make to me feel guilty I think that the trifecta of shay's like shame, guilt and blame I think those are the three toxic she's professional I just studied it like mad, but you know, but the truth is like I have to get really good at recognizing that one of the sensations is coming on because when one of those sensations coming on it means that I'm going to be pretty bad at what I'm doing whatever it is, whether I'm trying to have a conversation with you or relationship with my children or discussion with a client yeah, I think that's a great takeaway is you that's putting forward the best version of yourself? You know, that way we're talking about the amount of correspondence we receive and that may not necessarily be relevant for everybody out there but the same little the same concept can apply to whatever you point that firehose of information at whether it's guilt or shame, or all the that that those things that make you not be a great artist, a great photographer, a great business person, when you guys have said business several times, and if you have anxiety run business like, what do you going to do to make yourself to rid yourself of that anxiety? And and you have to have tto prioritize it's challenge? Yeah, and then I mean, and actually great segue way in terms of priority. And anna quinlan has this fabulous quote, you cannot be really first rate at your work if for work is all you are, and what that means is like, if you're feeling you because you're taking a night off and you have a tonic shoots that are due and you haven't post processed this I mean, you have to recognize that that might office what you you really need to refuel and not just like because you need a break, but because you're probably going to be worse when you try to power power through to aunt agree all the time, I get a lot of questions, and I think about this a lot to myself, then this might. Be a way to make this kind of conversation super relevant is hey man, what do you do when you get a creative block when you've shot the same shot fifty times but you're in the next client you know, even if it's your signature shot or whatever like how do you continue to reinvent that? And I think the thought of the traditional view to that is that well, you have to get more into your work and in fact my experience says it's exactly the opposite is you have to go out and get into adventures in the world because it's those adventures it's it's trying to find um something special like creativity isn't out there it's in here and what's that you know, the great motivators aren't out there they're in here and in here is cultivated I mean, my wife kate and I were just talking about this earlier today the way to get inspired is is not necessarily to dive deeper into your work but maybe to put it on pause for a second and go live yeah and think about well boy no that's I mean that's so true because when your best ideas usually coming and people say that's when they're in the shower for me it's when I go running or it's or whatever it is it's usually not when you're like oh crap oh crap oh crap I I just did a block post on this not too long ago. My life is very chaotic I have a lot of travel and stuff I never have killer ideas when I'm in the heat of the heat of battle I mean there's always you know, a great idea might be oh, this do angle you know I'm gonna lay on the ground over here I'm gonna get up on this ladder that's not what I'm talking about a great deal like a fundamental my next time my next yeah return my next body of work I'd like those don't come when you're in in the paint that's a basketball analogy sorry those don't come when you're really in the in the most intense work time they come specifically when you are being quiet I think that was the the time of the block post is something about that and I found that that's true for most people when I've like this was an ah ha moment for me on dh then that's what one thing about me is I forget things really easy so I've had about three of those ah ha moments over and over again and I'll wait a minute I'm having a creative block I need to you know to go you know, climb a mountain and ski from the summit or something and then that's goingto make me feel a bit better but and do you sense that you have that same sentiment about, like, when you need to make that next level of improvement or, like it's, not necessarily about digging in its about stepping back? Yeah, and for me, I mean, every that's it's really good to get very aware of what works for you and kind of with at the root of what works for you because I think for some people with the root of what works for them is to sit in a quiet room and just and just be very quiet at the root of what works for me is more physicality like I have to go for a run and I have to move and it's not just because I like to exercise it's because that's, what breaks it up for me on dso I need I need that, like, joy went for a walk with me the other morning or yesterday morning cause I was like, in such a space and I'm like, I know we don't have time. I know it's freezing, but we need to go for a crazy fast, you know, killer walk, I would've loved to have gone for a run, but just with the time we had everything let's just leased, walking, talking work while we're doing it. Um because otherwise I'd have come back in here would have been like, you know, and that like I was one hundred percent turn around for me in terms of energy level I like knowing what you need is another like thing I think to try and focus on and if there have been times where you took a walk when you were your most harried or when you took it a great adventure or where, whether you whatever it is for you like try and find that when you can't find it noted so that at some point when you're this is what I'm so bad at is remembering what I need and those have been the most fulfilling part when you can actually medicate yourself this's what I need right now waken turn to your spouse and say no good for right, just just me and running my meditative too you're talking about going inside, running very meditative so even though you're acting kind of going in also one of the things that you said like red blood, I'm like, oh, I read that book that you wrote and I was one of most powerful post that I've read and it shifted something for me in the sense that when I would get off from a project I was working on her at home are in the shower or wherever I would try to shut the brain off don't think about work, but then you and some other people said some of the very similar things and it's just like yes, that that is when you're freeing up those those creative juices to move, I think he said, what was it in a hammock that you came up with this idea? Actually, no, that was seattle one hundred ok literally sitting there looking up at the walnut leaves kind of blowing in the wind and have been the first quiet period haven't had had in a long time and that's a great example of, like, your next body of work or something, and then those always come to me and that's a great example, this is this was a different story that I'll share with you guys later, but I mean that's that's, why I'm glad that resonated with you and sometimes ah lot of those things are medicinal for me and in many ways writing them for me and then turning my kind of journal inside out. So and likewise sometimes you you know, I bet things right make up in the middle of the night, and I write down this brilliant idea and I'm like, I know it's got arrested, it was wonderful that I just had the most fantastic new idea ever, and then I wake up in the morning, I'm like, oh, it was terrible it was an awful idea, but every so often they're quite good um and then we were you know, we were talking about how this ties into having to work and having to live and having to find relationships um I think that it goes into strongly is figuring out, um, word balance I think is even a contested word like, who has perfect outs so they're always out of balance you're just trying to you're just you're constantly over correcting or at least that's how I am constantly out of whack, but there is that as you pass it at fifty miles an hour, it feels good for just a little bit about what's up uh but yeah, I mean, I think that that's part of it too is this ridiculous myths that there's a sound like balance and if you do this this and this, you're gonna achieve it like I shouldn't say it's a myth there might be people out there who really think that they're or feel like they're living a balance and that's wonderful I've never achieved it in any sustained level and I don't believe until the day I die I will and I think just stating that is a heck of a belief like that yeah, it it's really ironic that my wife and I were just talking about this and it is like there are moments where you're kind of connected and you don't know where all of you are all of you are in your careers but um I'm sure you feel it you know whether it's tied to your business or your personal life that you're in and out of then you're in and out of creative spurts and you're in and out of everything and like you said almost like naming it makes it feel a little bit better and it's I feel like seeking the answer out there again I have said that earlier but it's really about you know how do you how do you medicate yourself through this not with, you know, stand up all night and party in but maybe finding some peace and quiet because when do my best ideas come when I have a clear head go for a walk? Yeah and I think to the the with creative live specifically I had conversations with a few friends um and one very dear friend who said just out of curiosity, why would you open yourself up to all the criticism of a situation we're on that kind of platform and anybody can say anything to the world while you're standing in front of it and I had the thought like first of all oh, but secondly that's where we come back teo any sort of endeavour that takes a little bit of courage is that if you're not feeling some sort of peace within and whatever brings you that piece and have some sort of ability to reconcile that you can say all that stuff over there but I know where I am and we're gonna find that I know where I am and that's the same I think the same goes with how you're personally feeling and and sometimes given the internet world that we live in there's a confusion between people critiquing critiquing personalities and people critiquing work and you know in this internet world even if you're putting your pictures on flicker you know, people going to say you know, I like this I don't like this or you sock you know, there's a difference ones about the work ones about you, but at the end of the day what you have to be is comfortable if you're willing to put it out there that the good is going to outweigh the bad and good might not necessary come in a fleet of good comments but might come in even if they're critical comments you're learning something about what it is that you do so uh that's the I think the one thing that I I changed when I realized that the best thing I could do is is make stuff and put it out in the world at a torrid pace just making and putting out there and making money out there and shooting and whether you you're paying attention to the feedback, of course, but that's how you both get accustomed to that feedback and train yourself to take better pictures, be a better business person, you just have to keep swinging. Michael jordan has won twenty six game winning shots, but he's missed sixty or something, so I don't mean you can't you can't you can't score if you don't shoot, so the more you shoot and I think actually, his quote, I just retreated on twitter, not one goes that, um, people asked me if I was gonna paraphrase um, ask me if I'm afraid of failing everybody fails, I'm afraid not to try word up it's true that I'm jay that whatever the correct somebody phrase incorrectly but it's something like that for us? Yeah, no, exactly. He said, um but you know, okay, so we're coming back to all this. So what are we talking about? About life balance? You know, I think it's figuring out how can I narrow the gap between what really, really, really matters to me at at a root level and first all that sometimes means discovering it. Um and then how my actually living my life out in accordance with that and that's all I have a copy of this but yeah, that's like that's the part that's all the work in here and that's, you have to start initially thinking all right, what do I really care about? Do I have to say the road answers that everybody else says there's there's something that I think is often mick missed when and I think this is probably broadly applicable beyond just our industry. If we could say that we have a common industry and photography and that's like the sustainability of it all, um, you know, someone might come in and undercut your price is well, is that a sustainable business for them? If it is good for them, find there's room for everybody in the pie weakened grape about how you're undercutting prices or whatever, but what's going to be sustainable for you. This is a it's a consideration for business, but what's never talked about is what's sustainable in this world? Like can you work constantly? You will die of a heart attack if you do and sustainability in in every level of your your life. Of course I'm trying to bring this back to the professional one because that's what were talking when that's what the people at home and I think maybe they want us to be talking about speeds and feeds and exposures and stuff right now all that I got it, your exposure exposure doesn't matter if you're not around to take it. Yeah, and not not around necessarily in death, but in in the industry. If you're if you're not able to sustain taking pictures for a living, then you know, what have you really got? So taking care of the big u is mission critical? Yeah, and people will say, with this kind of hard core, super like, I'm also kind of attitude, like I'm gonna shoot, shoot and work and work, and then I'll die like, well, sometimes it doesn't happen that way. Sometimes that happens, you have a stroke and you're incapacitated, and you live in a painful state for a long time, okay, let's, get out of that that's a little much, but the trip is the sustainability of isn't your business practices and your work life balance, I think, is mission critical for being successful, anything but especially an independent artist because you are under a lot of criticism from your peers or from the internet, or from your clients or whatever, but you have a chance to change your little corner of the world the same time, and you're talking about sustainability and, you know, kind of, where are your success is coming from as you define them, and I think stephen covey I wrote, you know, they had the whole siri's about the, uh, seven habits of highly effective everything. I think it might have, um, you know, has a great quote that he's talked about management leadership. Okay, uh, sorry about that. There's, like, seriously, a seven habits of everything right now. Okay. Okay. Uh, seven habits. One of the quotes he had early on in his career. He's talking about management and leadership and being able to discover what the differences. And he said, ah, and again, I'm gonna put your quote, so I'm just gonna say paraphrase, he said you could be climbing up to the top rung of your ladder, but is your ladder leaning across against the right wall? And if you're ladders like that and that's, the idea of like management is climbing the ladder, and leadership is determining which, while the latter is against an exact same analogy, works for family and life and relationships like yea, I'm about to reach the wrong and I'm a success except for everything care about's over there well said, I'm going to download this I like it, I like it, uh, but it's true, because and then it people and there are gonna be people who say, well, what do I really care about? Um and they're gonna give the pat answers because that's the assumption of what you really care about if you're a good person in a society notes or stuff but when you take it to the next level and really, really discovered I think one of the easiest ways were going to say flat out easiest ways to figure out what you really care about is to envision what is one of the port of priorities in your life and not necessarily where you're spending your time but where you're spending time and what you consider priority and when you look around your life, you know who you're with, so looking at all that and saying just putting it flat out what would tear my heart out if it disappeared like, what is that? You know, yeah, I think that finding out what that is and finance who who you're surrounding yourself with in business and in clientele I mean, this is think again to bring it back to the business part of this work life balance is, um someone said to me recently, and I think I may have said it somewhere you know, here or on my my blogger whatever about ur the average of thinking that five people yeah, you spend most time with and you were kind of the average of those people on is that is that where you want to put yourself it was not a wake up call the same applies I would argue um think of your body clients and you know if you've got some really great ones and some really crappy ones you know, think of your average client is that the average client that you wanna have so you might have one hundred clients but is one hundred clients with an average of fifty or you want to be you know gosh, you know that's that is a hard thing and, um there's tons of tons of business books and stuff that I have talked and written extensively about the eighty twenty rule um I have found it to be pretty pretty accurate. Ah, and eighty twenty real go something like you get eighty percent of your income and your referrals all those things from a twenty percent of your clients and the question that's obvious is then what the heck are you doing? Spending time with this other eighty percent of your clients the those you know, the ones that are the problem ones tend to pay you the worst tend to separate the most of your time you know all of those things so he think and kill your energy that's yeah, yeah, your soul even yeah, but that I mean that's that's really important and having the wisdom and the comfort level with yourself with your business creating that comfort for yourself so that you can say no to the crappy job with the client who's not a pleasant client to work with in favor of finding al germany yes is that you confined ones were I like that you're actually seeking to work with these people and these people respect the work that you do when they want to not just work with you once but with you many times again and refer you and at that I usedto I've talked about this before used to at the end of every year look look at my client like there's a number of people that I work with this year who sucked the hardest worst and then when when they call you don't say I hate you you're terrible you say thank you so much for calling I'm I'm busy and it's not about the work, you know I can't fit it in this year or cash I'm working on a different different stuff this year and my work's different than it was and we're not going to good match anymore and that's I think that it obviously helps with the stress and the things like that our negatives here and propels you in a positive sense spiritually like utah no one's getting your soul sucked out of you and they'd be the best the best clients that you can have so and you know and the whole idea of this sounds new agey touchy feely I've got wheat way posture I mean I've got you know I have had response with because when you keep going down to trying to figure out like what do your part isn't what you care about where should you be re balancing your efforts in terms of spending your time and uh one of the things that the major things is how does it make you feel how does it make you feel when you're doing it and when people said to me like yeah yeah that's kind of like foofie and everything I like what what's going on in here what's your landscape it's it's emotion it's feeling and there's like there's a gps system of sorts that hopefully you can count on if you're getting really really good at understanding how that feels when I spent two solid days thinking all I'm gonna dio every single task ideo for two days and I think how does this make me feel when I'm cleaning out the cat litter I don't ever want you again thiss feels crappy pun intended um and then start thinking about things like outsourcing the stuff that makes you feel like I shouldn't be doing this you know um you know I have ended up you know, hiring I've had probably cleaning service for way before I could ever afford one way before because I knew that I would rather go out and I don't know something that made the money to pay for that we're doing something that made me feel good, right? I think that's again there's another great application in business there for sure it's it's whether your time is whether it's hiring a nanny you're hiring a um that whatever is in your house keeping house says your kitten letter cleaner sure, but specific like retouching you know if that's not your strong suit and you don't have to do every bit of your work you khun direct someone else to help you with the things that you struggle with that you find undesirable that you that maybe take you away from your goal rather than toward your goal for goals work lacked balance and the thing that you get get locks down the rabbit hole in is post production then find someone pay them, work with them over a time period where you can they can understand your aesthetic what would this person do with this photo? Have them work up all the pictures allocate that money because what you're buying is perhaps your happiness, your longevity with sustainability, all these things that I have mentioned earlier so yeah and if it's the so it's um you know if response to that is like, okay, I just think about what I feel good doing and you find that you're like, well I'm fortunate enough them in a situation. We have a lot of opportunity come my way, and I kind of want to do all of them. They all feel good, you know? Okay, now what? How does that fit into your stupid little time life balance priorities sort of thing. And so I would say to that, addressing myself a stupid nobody else. Um, what I would say to that is and because and I'm sure if you have struggled with this, um and probably a lot of you have it's like there's, a lot of good things happened. I kind of want to do all of them. I love a lot of people I'm with and I've managed to unfortunately put myself in a situation where that's what I'm doing, it's. Just a matter of, like, there's, only one me and there's only twenty four hours and all of these things warrant my attention, and I like him. So what do you do there? I think that's where you start getting into pretty detailed analysis of what are these time management tips that can help on dh just to throw a few of them out there? Do you have a slide that talks about you? I bet you do I have to hunt for it and I just figured we could make it split out things like because yeah, we're just we're just dismissed my presentation it's just let it go uh, but just some some tried and true tips and I'd love to hear you using some of these are agree with them or not things like don't check your e mail till ten am at at a bare minimum ever because if you get up, roll out of bed on the first thing you do is check your email, you're gonna get lost in them new sha what's being fired at you am I? I'm already referenced my wife three times in this I apologise for the folks at home making this too personal for me, but we've also talked about this just between ourselves but at work we talked about it a lot like that is, I believe the worst thing that you can do is live with your email open with your twitter feed open with your facebook feed open like all those things if you're trying to actually get meaningful work done total distractions, I need to be completely focused on something to really teo make breakthroughs and to maximize my successful outputs and all that stuff creatively and what waking up and checking your email is a certain certain recipe for getting like the totally sidetracked and and especially if you have an inbox that there's a lot of stuff coming into it more good morning let me stress you out like crazy yeah and let me take control of your day rather than you taking control of it I think again there's a ton of business books you can read about this stuff but for me it's about what there are three things that I didn't you must do today what are those things and take the do the crappiest one first seriously that's if I have anything tio give you and his conversation that's that's what I do is one that's the hardest of the call the client that hasn't paid you because you put them off for five, six, seven days where it is get up, have full energy have you know, fresh head on your shoulders and make that call that's the most important thing is getting money in the door than make that phone call first and if at the end of the day you can look back, he said, well, there's all this other stuff I didn't do, but it is the three things that are most important that's going to move the ball down the field every day and, you know, keep you from getting hijacked yeah and don't start with the to do list it's two pages long and even though all those things may want to you may need to get done you're going to end every day feeling like you failed and we go back to how does it feel because if you can't do two pages of notes and actually live your life and do the things that are I'm gonna come up as well um and so it's just the idea of yeah exactly che said it's just come to stealing it what are the major things I must get done consolidate that and put your focus on that and there's actually a lot of research out there I'm sure you're familiar with that as well ah lot of great work research out there about multitasking versus single tasking saying we're not built to multitask we actually sabotaging yourselves by trying to multitask and if you're doing something where you're checking email and having a conversation and processing an inbox and grabbing this and grabbing that you're actually like in the brain moving in and out of sections of the brain where you're training yourself to be a shallow thinker and you're not you don't know how to go into deep thought anymore and to really single focus and go hard core to task because your brain is not doesn't know that language anymore I don't know anything about the research I know how I feel and I feel incredibly ineffective when I'm all over the place and the times whether it's a little slice every day or whenever I congrats that single focus right? Well science backs you word thank you science definitely no way doing on time time, time way have to wrap up because I think we have two minutes of tape left or something crazy where our way okay well I I know that the correction crew's been working their tails off so I don't want to go too much longer I think amazing by the way this has been amazing hard core and yeah let's do that sleeping in the rafters right that's right yeah, you know, people are sleeping in the video editing bay of there nico is it is it appropriate to maybe take any calm calls but ask first outside questions out there at this point yes fire some questions at tamara and chase all right, because he's right here's a good one uh damon, leo and twitter would like to know what is the number one thing about you that makes you successful number one thing about you it makes you successful um I'd answer that I'd love to hear your answer. Um honestly and again the number one thing is I'm getting really really close to just being completely honest with who I am and that means all the stuff about me that sucks and, you know, owning that as well and knowing what I'm not very good at what I shouldn't be doing and having a conversation with you is here, it shouldn't be any different than if I'm over there and there's no cameras on, because if there's too much of a shift there that I don't even know who I am, I don't know I am I can't really produce at the level that I know I'm capable of because I'm too busy trying to be someone else, and I'm probably really crappy at it. Yeah, I said you were the same person on cameras you are off, I would agree with that good family good you hear a lot of love, what about you number one thing that makes you successful? Uh have to, um you're so many things and they actually are both really about failing, okay? So one of them is a willingness to fail to put it out there, because if you don't have a willingness to teo teo, put it out there, then you're never goingto do it. Whatever the michael jordan quote was and it's not a callous, but you build up an energy around doing rather than talking or thinking or not doing or criticizing. And so that the energy to do is, um and the energy to fail is probably one of my core assets on that was a very learned thing, you know, it's no fun to fail, but I'm so good at it now I have really taste have you read the war of art yeah actually have along those lines right me and I wish I remembered that person on twitter that reminded that that uh sent it to me right now because I would give you props um right and it was me is the other way that I'm um that I have been able to deal with failure and whatnot is through a work ethic and I think I've written about this pretty extensively and shared it mostly to cultivate it in myself and understand it and on a few anyone watch that creative live where I was broadcasting from new york a couple weeks ago I had a handful of friends on stage and on my good friend vince laugh ray said you know I don't really believe in talent um you know that they're clearly people who are better at some things and other things you know, whether it's being a mother or a golfer or a painter or whatever um talent thie end of the day what what really makes the difference is is hard work and talent is something that is cultivated there are a million people that had so much talent did nothing out there I'm almost I don't even entertain those stories anymore because it's just another use file that under boring what's more interesting is the person that didn't have all the talent but that was the hardest working person that is you know, something that helps me through hard times is is and not just working harder longer hours but working smarter and and there's a certain work ethic that this stuff what you know whatever your ambition is as an artist a photographer whether you want to do it you know children's portrait's weddings commercial whatever it is it's hard work and hard work and I think having an attitude that these barriers that are going to come at you are really just distractions to keep the other people out who don't want it as bad as you do that's I think there's there's a certain work ethic there so hard work and willingness to fail and suck and also I think within that willingness to fail is also uh getting just very clear about your vulnerabilities then just being able to share him and kind of relax a situation all the way around and be able to read like a comet that's mean about you and say that hurt my feelings that was me out there you know and then just instead of trying to protect it and be all cool and like whatever I don't care and inside dying you know it's just like okay well why wouldn't I tell you that that was mean and that hurt my feelings because it wasn't you did uh or whatever the case may be uh the other thing too is you know, you know we're talking about balance and staying in flow and trying to keep everything in a certain place I don't think there's because then I think what happens there is there is there some sort of condemnation about when you do go crazy and you work super super hard? You put in long hours for a stretch of time and I think there needs to be some concession to the fact that that's okay every once in a while it doesn't mean every day is in twelve you know, like gives you sleep in cycles I definitely work in cycles it's insane amounts of work and then recover quickly and extent insane amounts ofwork and recover quickly and I'm you know, I guess I'm no no one to judge there because I'm guilty is a lot of you folks at home in that regard, but again, let yourself off the hook I think he's got a good feel good mojo in there yeah, and and then if you are thinking about like you're what you're giving to other people if you're thinking about the fact that, like I had experienced earlier on this year and I think you and I talked a little bit about it, um where I had the opportunity to work with a production company and take on a whole other project that I really didn't have any window of how I was going to fit that in or make it happen and it was just you know alright let's all have a family talk I'm gonna take something on that's ridiculous I'm gonna go back to working the two a m for a little while until I can produce this product and get this whole thing out um I'd be really happy with that and I'm kinda gonna suck for a little while maybe like irritable and tired and overworked but I will come back that's about right back to my strength I have the capacity to capacity to suck for a long time go that is gonna get twitter good somewhere along that is terrible I don't want to go back to that but then she said it I know I said I'm guilty of anything it's like we're just kind of yammering on ok alison alison with five kids I love it so tomorrow when you were when you had your kids and they were yung er er I know they're so yeah there's a little but you know you were having kids you're adopting kids you're and you were in the thick of it um I know you did you have help by then? How did you yeah like right now like I'm I can't like when I walk by my computer my baby starts crying because I put in too much time with it when she was too little and so now she associates computer with mom's attention and she just instantly starts bawling like I even check my e mail giulio, you know, but she's too and so she gets it she's putting it together so then I'm staying up till insane hours and I've really feeling like I need to hire somebody to work you do, but I can't afford to hire somebody wait and I can't work, you know, like you do. Okay, let me tell you a couple of different things about that. First of all, this is not work life balance your babies crawling across the keyboard you're doing this, a lot of people think that that means I'm doing it all yeah, and that that is not work life balance and I would highly advocate that you you say I can't afford anyone right now and I understand that sensation again. I would rather, um, separate myself out and make a net net not even a profit to be able to put myself into my work and get in a place where I can focus and feel good about what I'm doing and not it sounds to me like you're constantly set up to feel bad and there's no balance in that at all because you're not doing your clients any service and you're certainly not doing your child in his service it's the idea of saying okay, honey, I'm gonna spend less time with you but I swear when I'm with you, I'm in you know, and then so we're gonna have this set up or we're gonna have maybe it's you know, start out small for yourself to ours come in, let me go let me remove myself from the situation again in my situation work life balance did not mean it was all the same time I had to have work here and life here, and when I started doing those longer hours and sagging in on taking extra projects, I felt all creep back in like I am sucking more I mean that that does happen physically went somewhere yeah, yeah like in my case, you know, outside studio but anybody who's out there trying to work with kids in the home who feels like they can't afford it? I would I would advocate for you even if it's a net net I'm paying twelve dollars an hour and I leave for two hours and I make no more than twenty four dollars in the entirety of what I produce, which hopefully that's not the case. But if it is the case, what you're doing is you're building list that's a better feeling and you starting on a path that hopefully leads to balance because you're getting a head start on it and you're getting smarter like when you're actually doing the thing you're getting smarter and more efficient and finding out the things that you can do do better yeah and what's your what's your r o I what's the return on investment from that experience right here it's in here if you're not making one dollars but that's what you need to power you in you and you and your learning too you're mastering this side of things at work and this side of things at home and so there you're fine that you're starting to build it's kind of like you're putting one day vacation in the bank every every day or one dollars or whatever on our outer self help section starts in one hour so that was a great great question I hope you get home feel sad so the answer I would love to go back there and I think we need a tow wrap it up back wait since the professor suggested you saying that's also like including the cost of maybe daycare for an hour while you do some editing into the cost of the session yeah we'll just have to pay for the sessions also editing time absolutely that's a great idea yeah raise your prices yeah raise your prices to account for that and again that's the the idea that when people say to me well I'm not gonna make any I'm not don't make any money it's not even worth it wow is it worth it? We're not talking about money it's worth it okay, so hopefully this is a good ending question, but claudine has asked another folks of asked earlier, so you've talked to him a lot about your kids and chase. You talk a lot about kate, but what about your husband when it comes to work, life balance? And how does he help you with that? Well, okay, so this is interesting, and this is going to be another for days. I mean, this is not an easy sum up everything, because joy and I talked about this a lot, most people I now mostly women, I know I'm not tryingto leave the men at equation, but most women I know have a serious struggle of sorts, whether it's over or not in their relationship because they are now under the expectation that they have to work full time and be the one who's completely in charge of everything else and there's no concession for the fact that there's been a massive shift in our society where most women are working full time or they're trying to do it in their home, and so they're in their home there's just be the primary caretaker they're supposed to, the one that makes all the doctor's appointments and gets all the haircut. And make sure the closing and all those school forms were signed and the health vaccinations they're done and okay, I've got a four o'clock client call, and I've got three sessions that ever do it. I've got to do some processing and hey, baby, you want to go out tonight it's like it doesn't go for anybody, there's, nothing sexy and hot about let me do ninety percent of the work, you know, like you as a so I think a couple things need to happen there needs to be a lot more discussion in place between partners because that's, what you are, um, especially when you have a family in place, there needs to be discussion in place that this is not something that the woman is going to get like, all right, I'll give you some time to go do this like, you know, the idea is and I heard this phrase and I'm gonna I'm gonna paraphrase because I'm a vegetarian. Um, the expectation is you have to bring home the bacon and fry it too, you know? So bring on the veggie bigot on, then put it in a veggie b l t I mean that. Their needs and that's, not a feminist thing, that's just a that's not fair that's, not fair and and I think a lot of people have a lot of friction in their relationship because those conversations aren't being had at the level they need to be really had. It can't be kind of ah, complaint nag, I heard you said it has to be a a perspective shift and understanding that this needs to be a fair and honest relationship on dh then. So when it comes to, like, what are those experiences? I like everybody else, have gone through a ton of that as my work has taken off, and I'm trying to be there for the kids and, you know, we end up having all those discussions, and there was a really big shift when we came back from ecuador. Our youngest daughter is adopted from ecuador, he spent two months in ecuador, and during that time I spent nearly the entirety of it in a one room hotel room, or we weren't supposed to go out at night because it's very unsafe and there's five kids and one of them didn't sleep at all, and we were both have two full time busy says he runs a fitness magazine with an online registration site and he's a producer, right? Produces a whole series of traffic lines and marathons and races and such on dh so he's got that crazy fool done job I have a crazy full time job there's three kids and we were doing all that on a low internet speed and it was like a stress bucket and it was gorgeous it was beautiful but we came back from that and it was like this explosion of like, okay, who is doing what you know sign on the dotted line and I I don't have children but for the handful of you out there in the internet world who who are in my boat um kate and I still have those conversations and ah well conversations you have no just way to divide up can't tell you here she's over there scratching itches now it's I think the way we treat it so kate is an amazing executive producer she's like the mother hen of the ten of us that run around like chickens with their heads cut off let's just get this minute. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but she's got this really peaceful energy to her yeah she's like like yeah, yeah never dance like you do kind of stink you're like super zen for sure and, um we try and segment our responsibility is based on the things that were good at um and so she produces and basically makes decisions and arrangements and in our professional life because that she's incredibly organized right? I'm incredibly not organized thie guy with messy hair and like I don't know where my keys were robot yes I am robot but um and so we try and segment things along those lines and if there are times where there's more things and more production related stuff that's going on like arranging um she lets me know and it boils down to communication she yeah for birthday I got her ah whole array of things all of which I will produce like if we're going to go teo take a plate tio but it really boils down to communication and trying to do the things again for us kids out of the equation but trying to do things that that each of us are more efficient I take care of that the cars for example and she would, you know, make sure they're taken care of and she would make sure that the, um builder paying on time, right and communication being not um okay, I'll pick him up before and you get this at six and make sure you got this because unfortunately a lot of relationships than segway into basically administrative activity management versus a communication like how are you feeling, you know, and not just how are you feeling but like I had that last experience we had where we really didn't reconcile it really well where did that sit with you? Where did that go? Um and I need to go back and full circle to make sure that I also finished by saying after that you know that amount of time, which was a really big deal again we'd need another four days for it. We ended up having some of the best discussions we've ever ever had and got to know each other in a new way that's never occurred before because there needed to be this fundamental shift and had to be fair all the way around and I had to realize that communications that were in play that were happening too fast weren't being heard because that wasn't a way to hear things and vice versa. So I had a lot of stuff to figure out how to say differently and you know the same thing. So how do you speed this up? How do you wrap that out? It's a full time job it's a full time job but it needs to be given the priority is what I'm saying and speaking of work life balance, which is why I've been talking about for a long time and trying to find your path through this messy thing that is your burgeoning and growing and succeeding photography careers ah everybody you all in the audience included the production staff everybody in the building has been making this happen. I think we should let them go home to their families, and I want to say priority, yes, make them a priority. But I I want to say thank you so much for all the hard work and can everybody in the building give this final beautiful person amazing favor? Seriously amazing. Yeah, I just want to thank both of you so much. This experience has been absolutely amazing, and everyone that has helped out it's just been like a dream come true, and I just feel so blessed to have been here, and two experienced it with all of you and very, very, very sweet. Thank you, it's. Same loves going this way, I promise.