Lessons

Lesson Info

Relationship with Others in Business

Let's, see if we can continue on with our discussion and hopefully eliminating some areas off our, um, how we frame our reality, you know, in terms of and how that helps us, or heeds us in terms of realizing our vision. So I guess we're coming from the school of the unobstructed, all victorious possibility of achieving, visualizing on accomplishing your heart's desire and that's a very powerful notion that we're not fundamentally hindered or blocked in any way other than by circumstances of our own conditioning on dh, our own habits, and that every situation could be met with resourcefulness, uh, with an open heart and awake mind. And that, um, that makes life that turns life from a treasure hunt into an adventure. And, uh, I have a friend who has made that distinction. I like that distinction between are we on a treasure hunt? And we're only gonna be happy when we just get what we think we want. Are we enjoying this journey? And this workshop is part of taking a journey of exploration...

of our lives and the different components that are in it. And this afternoon we're going to sort of move towards another area, which is, uh, how do we relate with others in this journey, and you could look at it as our interpersonal skills, um perhaps we cook up our brilliant ideas in the quiet of our own home most of us do in the recesses of our own imagination in the shower but in order to manifest if we do not work and play well with others we have to work on that. So this is sort of the antidote for the artist is the sort of lone wolf and kind of, you know, sort of cut off from the pack and with a sort of intense vision and kind of, um kind of lonely isolated vibe how do we work with the others? Do we like to enjoy that process is that does that bring us enthusiasm? Enjoy that we have to sort of work with other people or they just in the way it's an interesting question. You know, um if we take joy and uh all the little quirks and sort of foibles little quirky aspects of different people that we have to work with is that something we enjoy or is that something that we feel is an obstacle to us achieving what we want to achieve? And I think that's a very interesting way of looking at our interaction with people um fundamentally the meditation tradition the reason that we clear our own room up clean up our own room and clear our own plates up uh sort of work with their own state of mind is so that were more available for others that in the buddhist tradition that's a huge transitional moment when we realize that we're living in two dependent lee with others and that that is the very purpose of life so that in the buddhist tradition is called the birth of the ma ionic teachings are the loving kindness and compassion and uh you might think, well, what the heck does that have to do with business? And I think you'll see two possibilities within your business which is that you're spreading joy and uh, communication and sharing or you're just uh obsessed with yourself the people who spread the joy and the love can also be successful this is a sort of unusual combination that weaken weaken uh begin to explore and um the seed of it in the my own teachings is what something called generosity of spirit where if we have conquered some of our own demons, you know, if we have explored some of our own recesses if we've done the work the homework um it gives birth to a tremendous sense of openness and generosity for others who are no longer perceived as the obstacle between us and getting what we want, but they're actually the opportunity for us to get what we want so how are we doing with others in our business mind do do we like that part of being in business? Do we enjoy that exchange er do enjoy the little corky things that when you walk into creative life every day or your company and so and so is kind of doing that same old thing that they've been doing and you perceive this person is too aggressive and that person is too selfish and that person is too perky for that early in the morning maybe you wanna interrupt their coffee supply on dh and other person is doesn't really see you the way you really are, you know, when they're little they're limiting view of who you are, what your potential is um so the question we have is how can we use that very interaction as a part of our path is a part of our journey and as a part of expanding our notion of what business is all together and you know somebody said give me a fact uh, who was it who said it earlier? Sixty or seventy perceived scent of people go to work every day, just bait and go into the cubicle basically those cute thomas right? Just basically hate their work hate their lives hate hate this environment of it that's not what we're talking about with making a buck that's you go make a buck so that you can when you're not making a buck, you can have some kind of enjoyment but that's just lowering the window and get smaller and smaller and smaller and then you might find the same people at home, you know they get to go home and they're not really happy there either um so we're looking at opening up our whole life so that there's room for us to enjoy and appreciate every every kind of exchange that we have both in the domestic front and in the business frontier so I thought I wanted to also introduced the idea with this of hierarchy is an important thing to talk about when you talk about relationships with others uh we talked a little bit about this the other day but it's a very challenging notion of that you encounter in the business world also in family life and things like that when we said everything is not just a flat and democratic, you know, in business and I think this is something that artists sometimes I have a hard time with, you know, that uh that, you know, it could take the form of like, as we talked about before having a boss, you have to, like, do your creative work and then offered up to somebody who then says they like it, they don't like it or it could be your working for people um and to create this sort of union of heaven and earth that we've been talking about so much the idea of hierarchy financial hierarchy is an important an important point and I just want to reemphasize something we talked about yesterday, which was the notion of lids has a hierarchical notion, which is you just basically put the lid on somebody and that's as high as they're going to go oh, our flowers which you create an environment in which people can blossom and grow to their full potential um so I'd like to throw that question out to our getting here what has been your experience of working with others and particular relation to the notion of hierarchy and you're energy and me that are you a good boss? Are you a good employee? Would you rather be are you with the employees? But you'd rather be the boss and you gather around the people you know, at the water cooler saying how how badly the thing is running up the top there if you've been a boss, do you think you're a compassionate person in terms of creating flowers, opportunities for people to flower? Or are you sort of somebody who's sort of panics when people express their ideas below you and in the hierarchy and then you want to just sort of hold him down so I'd like to throw that out to you and just get some honest feedback from our audience out there? This is a huge area of of being successful at work it's how we work with others, yeah you are working for themselves for the most most creative entrepreneurs are working for themselves so that means you're the employee and you're the boss so you have teo be a good employee and show up on time and work hard and be focused but you also have to motivate that employees so that she won't quit yeah, you know it's funny you're saying that cause I I often say that when people are meditating sometimes very hard on themselves and almost abusive it's interesting thing you go while you're sitting there by yourself and you almost like like the sam my thoughts are so crazy and and I'm so obsessed with dark, you know and negative kind of energies and the thing is when you do that when you do the meditation practice also you're alone and you realize you are both the abuser and the victim and the abuser at the same time and it's almost when I'm working with people meditation I say, well, which one are you? Are you the victim? Are you abusing because we're both so the idea that as an entrepreneur as you're saying that we're solo operative we our experience of experiencing ourselves as a boss and as an employee that's a very cute and clever comment in a way so how do you fare with that? Which which which will be like better? I think I'm kind of a hard ass on my employees I think he needs a critic, I I'm mindful of it, so I I'm just and that's really, as we've said, you know, that's the place to start, to be mindful, and then when you're mindful you have a opportunity to make a change or to balance things. So, um, I am keenly aware that I'm both in the expansion of your particular enterprise. Could you see that a certain point you're going to need to take on some employees to have any part time employees? Yeah, I mean, I've had intern for me, and I outsource administrative work, which is, by the way, wonderful. Go, teo, answer some of those three sources, but I'm also clear that I don't really want to manage a big team. I would rather keep it simple. You have an accountant? Yeah. You have a lawyer? Yeah. I've alive. Illegal service, which is the cost effective. And I have a a tax attorney. Well, hope prepares taxes. So those relationships right there, even though you have your own business, you absolutely were very important. Yeah. You have to form the team even if you work for yourself. Thank you. Anybody else? Clients and also within an agency, you know, with my bosses and like other people in my team, I found it's just really important to detach yourself from the work that you're doing this realize you are on the same team you know and you're you have a common goal which is to make great work so it's important to like not involve your ego and that too much you know, just take ideas from everyone and relinquish your and when when you see fit, you know so there's a conscious dropping of kind of self centered approach shorts the work there's something falling away they're kind of deliberately yeah it's super liberating that's a great point that's a great point when you there's no I in team have you were that he, um to get a team to work cohesively together? Um like the check your ego at the door kind of policy that's sort of what you're talking about, right? Yeah, no that's great and you find that you inspired when you do that yeah and just work you know better you want my car, you just there's just no like resistance you just you yeah ari is saying, well, I was a terrible boss because I didn't want to put lids on people they found they were just too nice, according to her bosses or their boats on dh photo was saying I've never had a normal job partially because I don't like to be told what to do very fair enough but there they're going to say, but working for yourself is not easy being in a way, being your own boss on annual employees in the chat room. It's not nice. One more. Miss rose says I was raised to be a worker bee, but I have the personality of a boss. I work well with others if I could be heard, if if if um, actually, that they were exploring this to me. This is a very, very interesting area. Um, because there is always going to be a feeling of some people feel they could do a better job if they were the boston the boss is doing, and, uh, they may get the opportunity one day and see it a little differently. That happens. Uh, it is interesting if we can have a chance to be both in this life time. Yeah, yeah, a long time as an employee or as they like in service to remember thinking, remember, it was like a very, very much of a choice of, like, how can I be in service in the best possible way? You remember at one point I heard along that line because I did have ambition, even like, even at that time, to lead or to direct you remember the person I was working for said you have to learn to follow in orderto learn to lead and at the time I found that a very annoying statement a cz I think back on it now I think it's very true. Yeah, and being being on the team as low as possible on the team in a way and being able to really see what that's like is extremely I found extremely valuable for being able to lead no compassion and with any kind of intelligence at all about you know, what everybody's doing there are two, um, kind of approaches to running the team. Um and that is, one is the person with the biggest ego is the chief and the other is the person with the smallest ego is the chief it's interesting that if it's a person of the biggest ego you can see company cultures it all the and this is sort of a little bit of ah departure of the leadership principle, the entire organization is going to be stained or colored by the ego shape of the leader and it's a very interesting thing that happens like I will give you the example chris christie, governor of new jersey, was the leader and that what you're saying is, I know people are following that out out here, not following that all what's happening there, he probably most people know this, but what people who work for him shut down the george washington bridge to punish the mayor of was in new york huh allegedly ok ya know don't get sued here thank you yeah there's a big court case going on about that but the ideas he created did he create a culture in which those kind of things like punishing people who were not on the team became hum part of the corporate culture whether he was involved actively or not so this is an interesting area where we were creating even if it's a small company we're creating a corporate culture on dh and how how that dribbles down and you can always see it's like if you're interested in these things if you enter a company you can smell a scent the quality of the leadership in what they're transmitting to people and um you know the other approaches that if the person really has some genuine I'll call a realization of you know our less egocentricity they're much more tuned into everything that's happening the way that it's talked about in my tradition is trump room j my teacher used to say the king is like a grain of sand the egos that small and so there's so much room for everything to happen around there's so much interest in attention as opposed to like you know the huge kind of like monster ego that just needs to be fed and fed and fed and fed so I think your point julia is interesting that the idea of dialing down the egocentricity to move into a team situation of collaborative situation that's really a good point that you're making there makes a very interesting point I'm assuming the lady apologies or not but she's saying I moved up into management rather quickly in my former job and I never learned good management techniques in that rapid rise I started out as a lid but then I learned that creating a place that my star could grow was justus important that's getting the work done and I think a lot of people off would recognize that situation he almost seems the only way you can get on corporations is to accept promotions and then accept roles that you may not actually be suited for. Some brilliant salespeople are not suited to run the sales department right? So I thought that was an interesting analogy there how quickly she moved up but she eventually found comfort leadership training is very rare to find, you know, within within companies like that you now you're in a management position and what skills might you need and you're right in an entrepreneurial situations there's a natural growth and expansion and they don't even have the thought or or or the time or the energy to do out those new skill sets but it is very interesting to mention of working with other people so collaborating and this is what we're ready to start talking about. Many creative business ventures are highly collaborative we have to learn how to harmonize different points of view and bring coworkers clients investors along on our ride so this would be sort of the magnetize ing aspect of of being an entrepreneur how can you get people to come along on your ride and, you know, it's interesting? I mean, I still there are certain giants in our time in terms of entrepreneurial adventures and obviously being out here in northern california steve jobs you really can't go around what he did. They said that he had something called the reality distortion field. I mean, you're part of this that you go into his office and you knew what he was saying was not true, but somehow you believed it at the time there was that kind of magnetic field of him being able to pull you into his vision almost energetically. S so how can we without turning work into on account of group, you know, a psychology, you know, work and fall apart if it just turns into an encounter group. But how can we include those ideas of harmonizing in coordinating co workers? Uh, you know, I'll give you an example that was in my record label there were two employees and, uh, one of the head of ferocious temper very rarely went off but it was literally scary and another one of the employees came to say I'm really afraid of that guy a puppy in ordinary circumstances would do anything for you but lurking and she just her background led her to be very sensitive to that you see and his and his he thought you know she was over over reading and overreaching in terms of so you have to be a little bit of a psychologist to run your business that's the solders to it that's that that is going to come into play and in a sense management is that area becomes much more prominent at a certain point you might be spending fifty percent of your time actually just working out dynamics between people uh in the organization so right is like a band on the road, right? Yeah our friend genevieve walker's visiting us here and she plays in a band that I play with with this guy krishna das and we're talking about going on a bus tour for three weeks you know of the west coast and talk about collaborating you know you you can't do certain things on the bus which I shouldn't really say what they are but it's a very small environment real fish tank type of environment so this leads us to like if you really wantto not just build up your case but see what's happening clearly the idea of kama I described calm in this book that I'm writing as you're in a closed environment, we think we're in a very large scale, open environment, but with a very closed environment and actually the ripple effect of what we do is coming right back at us all the time. Something's going around a little bit, so I describe it for people who don't understand the law of karma is like a fish in the fish tank and you're swimming around and you poop, all right? You know those first have this little trail that comes out behind them it's very cute in a way if you're not, if you can relax a little bit about all these kind of things and then you swim around the tank one time and you come up and it's right in your face that's karma and you go, where did that come from? So we don't see the ripple of cause and effect that you know, if we come in to work and we slam a door, I had an employee who had a bad temper, any smashed one of miami's I came in one of the waiting we're missing, I don't care be honest, this it's I care more about that person, then that statue, but it is interesting how do you deal with these energies in everyday life and in the work environment? And are we up for it? You know, do we do we think that's just in the way, or do we think that might be part of the joy and the sort of ryder adventure of doing our business? So that's, what we're talking about here, going along with that, we should mention, by the way, investors, I put investors that coworkers, clients and investors so that's, really three tears the coworkers that people, you know, like you describe julie, that were on the team with them and, like let's, drop the egos and let's get the job done, and that can create a great esprit de corps, and then the clients come in and that's always such a different different energy. Excuse me, and then finally, the investors that, uh, and evidently we're trying to magnetize investment in our companies. There are very few business ventures that we're ever going to go on, that the ultimate goal is not going to be to expand it in certain point and a certain point of growth. Every business goes through the need for investment capital.