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Transformational Leadership

- [Peter] This is where it ties altogether. You could have an amazing productivity plan, you could have an amazing six-figure dream team, you could have a great culture, but it's never going to be sustained long term if you don't understand leadership. So the plan here, simplified: What Leadership IS and What it ISN'T, The 5 Levels of Real Leadership, My Personal Leadership Transformations that I've gone through, Key Accountability Questions, and then we're going to finish strong. So rookie mistake here – trying to develop others without mastering and developing themselves first. I see this a lot. It's hard to develop others when you haven't developed yourself or mastered yourself first. So what leadership is, and I put that first, leadership definitely is not management. People think, "Oh, I'm a manager." No, no. Leadership is the opposite of management. Literally, the opposite. So here's a couple quotes. "Leadership is the ability to translate vision into reality." I'm not really the...

fluffy-type where it's like, "Leaders helping people." I want to get to the tactics of what real leaders do. "Leaders empower others." "Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less." Here's what a real leader is. A real leader is someone who is not someone who can develop the most followers but is someone who can develop the most leaders. So a real leader can develop other leaders who develop other leaders. That's a real leader. Anyone can create followers these days. But creating leaders that go create movements of their own, that's how we're going to shift this culture is by creating leaders that create leaders. So what leadership isn't, leadership isn't seniority or your position in a hierarchy of a company. Sorry, that's not leadership. Leadership has nothing to do with titles. Leadership isn't about telling people what to do. And leadership has nothing to do with just personal traits. And of course, it's not about developing more followers. Let me give you some context. Management versus leadership. So management, to produce order, and this is needed in certain companies. But I'm talking about how to find the best leader within you to be the most exceptional possible role model for people around you. To produce order, to achieve consistency, being straightforward, planning, coping with complexity, organizing and staffing, controlling, pushing people. A lot of managers are in fear of losing people. They don't want to lose anybody. Others directed and they're very reactive. Here's leadership. To produce change, to achieve a real vision, setting your direction and creating a movement, adapting to change, aligning people that are aligned with your vision, motivating, pulling people to greatness, not pushing them, wants people to chase their dreams, self-directed and very proactive. See the difference there? So let me give you some examples here. So time, "I've become very intentional with my time," versus, "I show up just in time for everything." There's management, leadership. See the difference there? "I became very strategic and intentional with my time," versus, "I just show up just in time for everything." That's a leader versus a manager. Communication, here's the big one, "I understand the bigger picture and the sacrifice in the moment," than saying, "I'm always too busy for everything." So, "I understand sacrificing in the moment and I understand the big picture," versus, "I have to miss certain things or I'm too busy for certain things." Next, influence, this is a big one, "I understand how influential I am," versus, "I don't need to say this or I don't care what I have to say here." Everyone is watching you when you're a leader. So if you have integrity from every angle, it's a lot better than just thinking, "I only have influence when I'm in front of people." No. It's what you do when no one's watching that usually determines how real leadership is portrayed. Next, goals. "I am committed to my personal growth," versus, "I hope I grow. I'll grow when I feel like it. I'll get personal growth when I can." No. Leaders know, "I have to grow," like, "I have to invest in myself." That's why, I mean, I'm assuming most people bought the course already, but it's a no-brainer. Because you get the course…How long do they get it for, the rest of their whole life? - [Man] Forever. - And how much is it? - $79 right now. - $79. So that is nuts. Like the number one thing you should invest in is back in yourself and to bet on yourself. I'd strongly recommend checking out the course and purchasing it because you get this forever. But that's the goal of a leader is to always invest in themselves consistently, not when they feel like it, not only when they can afford it, not only on certain days, every day. Peers. here's a big one , "I carefully judge what I take, even from the best," versus, "I take anything from anybody." I used to take opinions from anybody. But now, I only take it from a very few amount of people. And I only take very few opinions from people I really respect, trust, have the similar values to me, that are doing what I want to do. So peers, you've got to take very selective opinions when you're a leader, only from people that you know have the results you want that have similar values to you. Consistency. "My business will always get the support it needs," versus, "I don't need this, I don't need that," or versus, "I don't feel like giving giving it support today." Leaders always give their business support. Relationships. "I'm in control of my support group and those around me in life, and I want to build an exceptional lifestyle," versus, "I have to be mediocre in business right now to fulfill my relationships." Leaders don't ever say that. They create who they're around very strategically. Okay? So real leadership, one, leaders work more on themselves than their job. And this is from Jim Rohn. We talked about Jim Rohn earlier. You've got to work more on yourself, more on your skills than you do in your job. There's working in the job, hustling, grinding, working with people. Then, there's taking a step back and being 50,000 feet up, and working on yourself, developing your emotional intelligence, your mental toughness, your leadership ability, your skills. That's why, working on this course, that's working on yourself, not in your business. Now, when you leave here, you're going to be working in your business. But real leaders work on themselves more than just in their business. Does that make sense? Next, leaders understand results is the name of the game, to move your business forward. To get results is the name of the game. That's where the value comes is results. Results is getting a client to actually do something, actually getting the results. Like literally, getting them to lose 5 pounds or getting them to make their first $1,000 online, or getting them their first customer on Etsy. Is that what it's called? Their first customer, if they've never had one. Getting them the result, that's what leaders do. They know how to get other people results and move their business forward. Next, this is a big one. Leaders know how to spark their own fire. They do not need anyone else to motivate them. The more you need someone else to motivate you, the least money you'll make. If you don't need anyone to motivate you, the more money you'll make. So if you need someone else to tell you what to do, you won't make as much, unless…If you're self-driven, you'll make more. So learn how to spark your own fire. Leaders always have compelling reasons. They always know why they're doing what they're doing, and they understand it's not short-term success. It's the long-term vision that's really going to get them the success they want. They're in it for the long haul. All right? So 10 really simple attributes of real leadership. Unwavering faith and confidence in what? In themselves, right? So what I've seen a lot and you guys maybe can relate to this, is people are all fired up about their vision until they get hit in the face. "My business is the best, we're doing this." Something happens or a lawsuit happens, "Oh, nevermind. Man, I don't know. Am I really made for this? Should I really be doing this?" No. You have to have unwavering faith that no matter what happens, you're still going to push forward. Right? No one wants to be influenced by someone who lacks confidence and courage. And no intelligent employee or sales professional, or anyone that you hire is going to want to have a leader that does not have faith and confidence in their business and their abilities. Right? So the alternate relationship is the one you have with yourself. Next. Self-control. You guys all know what it is. I don't need to really dive deep into it. But the person who can't control himself can't control others. So simple, but just self-control. Character and integrity, we already talked about this. Without a sense of fairness, justice, integrity, it's going to be very hard to attract the right people to your business. So what I mean by this is what do you do when no one's watching? This also has to do with congruency and authenticity, just fully being yourself. When you're fully yourself, when you drop the need to be liked and you don't fear people, and you drop others' expectations of you and you're fully authentic, you're going to attract the right people. You might offend some people, but the right people will catch on. You don't want to change so people will like you. You want to be yourself, and the right people will love the real you. That's a huge key in leadership. If you're trying to be some other leader or trying to put on a front, eventually, it's going to be so draining to keep that up. That's why you just want to be yourself. Right? Next. Definiteness of decision, where you want to make a decision and you want to go with it. Not like, "Well, maybe. I don't know if we should do this." Like you want to get all your research, do all the due diligence, have your advisory board, have a team and say, "Hey, is that what you guys are all in on? Is this the best decision you guys think? Perfect. All in." If it doesn't work, adapt and adjust. Right? But you have to have the definition of decision to make that happen. Same thing with plans. You've got to be able to stick to a plan until it actually works. Don't give yourself timelines on plans, usually, because plans almost always take longer than expected, and leaders understand that. Right? Next. Extra mile habits and unrequired work. Extra mile habits and unrequired work. I was talking to the vice president of the Clippers seven, eight months ago. He's now retired. But I asked him, "What's the biggest difference between like the elite players…" Like he's good friends with Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and I was like, "A lot of players, no one's ever heard of. And they come in and go out, and they lose their millions. They don't really… They're not in love with the game." I go, "What's the biggest difference?" And he goes, "You know? The top 1% just do the unrequired work." I'm like, "What do you mean?" He goes, "They stay late and they show up early. They do what's expected of them, and then they do five more things." A lot of people just want praise to do what's expected of them. No. You should get praise for going the extra mile. So leaders always go the extra mile and do the unrequired stuff that most people don't want to do. They'll stay late and they'll show up early. Emotional intelligence. You've got to have sympathy with your followers. Moreover, you need to understand who they are and put yourself in their perspective sometimes. Right? And respond with intelligence, not just emotion. So emotional intelligence is how you respond, how you take criticism, and working with your team to where you don't take things personal. If someone really… You always want to show… You never want to show you're tired, hungry, frustrated, discouraged. You always want to display confidence and know the answer, and be confident in that. And that comes from emotional intelligence. Sympathy and understanding, understanding where people are coming from. When someone has a problem, instead of getting mad at them or being like, "Oh, another problem," literally, switch your mindset and put yourself in their perspective, and respond with their perspective in mind. Right? That's a better way to respond. And sometimes you've got to take 24 hours. If you respond quickly with emotion and you respond based on maybe being pissed off or frustrated, it's going to be the wrong response and you might rub people the wrong way. So you really want to respond with intelligence when you respond to your team. Mastery of detail, now here's the key here. I am not a master of detail. If you guys didn't edit this, there'd be a lot of mispelled words. I really don't care. I try my best, and I try to make sure everything is spelled right, but I miss things. But I have an amazing team that is very good at detail. So when I was running an organization, I needed a couple of assistants that were detailed because I wasn't. See, it's all about figuring out your strengths, and then complementing your weaknesses with people that are good at your weaknesses. Right? So if you're not good at details, hire someone that is. Right? That's what leaders…They put amazing people around them. And then, of course, taking 100% responsibility for your results in your business and in your life. So if your team is not doing well, it's your fault. If your team is doing okay, it's everybody. If your team is doing amazing, it's their fault. You don't always get the praise. It kind of sucks, but that's just what a real leader does. So if we're doing amazing, "Guys, you guys are amazing. This is not me at all. Like you guys are crushing it right now." "Hey, you guys, we're in last place and I take full responsibility. It's 100% my fault. I want to owe you guys an apology. Things are going to change around here." See the difference there? Most leaders, "Oh, we're not doing well. It's all you guys' fault. I hired the wrong people. It's all you guys not taking action," and they blame everybody else. No. You've got to take full responsibility when your team's not doing well, when your business isn't doing well. And then rally the troops, and adjust and adapt. So which two stand out for you the most? I don't know which ones they are. But I would challenge you to figure out which two stand out to you that you feel like if you worked on them, they would be the most beneficial to your business and your leadership abilities, and your team right now. Which two are the most effective for you to get good at? 20% of those attributes will yield an 80% increase in your results as a leader, but your job is to figure out which ones they are. Like if I purchased this course, I'd watch this multiple times, and I'd figure out what actions to take at a certain time in my business. Because some of you guys don't need some of this information. Some of you guys need other parts. So this is something that you can come back to when you've executed on some other areas. Right? All right. So here's why most leaders fail consistently, and I'm just going to go through these quickly. You guys know where you fall, right? And I'm never going to sit here and blame and say, "This is why you're failing." But these are just the most common failures, lack of integrity, cutting corners. You see this with CEOs, getting in prob-... You know what's crazy? Can I get real? Perfect. I asked a mentor…This might not be relevant, but it's entertaining. I asked a mentor, probably like four years ago, he deals with a lot of billionaires and a lot of people that are like at a whole new level, and I'm like, "What's the biggest problem they deal with?" And he's like , "Illegal things, women, all this other stuff." I'm like, "What?" He's like, "That's number one." I'm like, "Wow." How interesting is that, though? Like they have billions of dollars and they lack integrity. Maybe it's easier to lack integrity when you have billions, I don't know. Has anyone ever had billions? It's it easier? Right? But the reality is, you have to stay with integrity regardless, regardless. Right? And this is why they fail. They make stupid decisions and they lack self-control sometimes. So if you really want to be exceptional, you've got to have discipline in the moment. Inconsistent growth, blaming and whining, improper use of emotions, and then poor influence or lack of real mentorship as well. And then, of course, they don't follow through. So my personal transformations, guys, are right here. I'll just go through each of them. Standards versus emotions -- when I started basing my decisions in my business off standards and intelligence versus emotions and fear, or feelings or moods, it changed my business. So for you guys, you're paid to manage your emotions as a leader. You've got to manage your emotions as a leader. Catch yourself basing things just off emotion. And when you make decisions off emotion, it's usually the wrong decision in business and leadership. So base things off standards, not just emotions. Okay? Next. Not fearing people. They need a mentor. They need someone to respect. They don't need a friend. So don't fear what people think when you're a leader. Make the decisions and stick with it. You've got to drop the need to be liked by people. Okay? This is hard to do because people want to be liked. Right? But when you're really fully authentic and congruent to yourself, you don't care if people like you. And what's crazy is when you really know yourself, opinions become irrelevant a lot of the time, which is cool. It's a good way to live. Attacking issues right away. A lot of people let issues fester with them. But there's nothing worse than having an issue happen in your business, and then you not addressing it. And then it festers in your mind and affects every other area of your business. So address issues right away, even if it's uncomfortable. Does that make sense? When I addressed issues right away and I got uncomfortable, and I dealt with it instantly, if someone did this or someone showed up late and I dealt with it, it was so much of a weight off my shoulders. And it helped my business. Teaching others how to be self-sufficient, making sure they're bringing you solutions, not problems, give them feedback on how to solve problems, and teach them how to reach out. Teach them how to get answers from the industry, from books, from audios. Teach them how to reach out and be self-sufficient. Right? That helped me as well. This is a big one. You want to be tough on results and soft on people. So if one of my top people did not perform like they said they would, I would be tough on the results, but I would be soft on those people. Let me give you an example. If Chris said he was going to do 10 appointments and he's one of my best people, and I know he was lazy and he did like 7, I'd be like, "Chris, you're like my best person. People love you. You're one of the best leaders we've had. But seven appointments, are you kidding me? Come on, dude? What did you do? I mean, you could do 10 in your sleep. What happened? You're amazing, man. But seven appointments, that's horrible. Can I count on you for sure to do 10 next week if you say you're going to do it? Because people respect you. Sound good? - [Chris] Yeah. - Now, how do you feel? You're like, "Shit I messed up?" - Yeah, I feel bad. - You feel good, though? - Wouldn't you? - We talked about this at my place. - Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to let somebody down. - So same thing. So you're like, "Hey, your results are horrible. You're amazing. You're one of my best people. Like, you're awesome. I hired you because of your wit, because you're energetic, you're charismatic. But you said you were going to do 10 appointments and you did 7. Dude, are you kidding? Those results suck. But you're amazing." See a difference there? If you're tough on them as people, they're not going to respond well. Most people are tough on people, soft on results, total opposite. Okay? Soft on people, tough on results. Does anyone have any questions on this? Because this changed my life when I started dealing with people this way. Pretty simple? It's like a positive sandwich. "Hey, man, I hired you because you're amazing, but you showed up late twice last week. What? That's not like you. Can I count on you, since people look up to you and they respect you, not to show up late? Awesome. Appreciate it. You're amazing. Don't be late." See a difference? Versus, "Hey, you're a horrible person. Don't be late, or you're going to be even more of a horrible person." Right? They're going to be like, "Forget you. I'm going to be late more now." Right? So always be growing. That's pretty obvious. Always be investing in yourself and growing, and sparking your mind and learning. And then, switching the roles. When I started doing this, I realized that it's a servant mentality. So you work for them, they don't work for you. So when I had a sales team and I had managers I was training and leaders I wanted to develop, I realized they weren't working for me, I was working for them. Whatever they needed, I wanted to give that to them. If they wanted me to stay late, I was going to stay late. I was going to do everything I could to develop them into leaders. So I would act like I was working for them, "Anything you need, you want me to stay up late, you want me to come in early and teach you this, do you need any training?" I was acting like I was their servant and they were the ones that were actually hiring me. Because eventually, it flips and they don't want you to do that. And they say, "Hey, leave. I got the office. I'll take care of your business. Don't worry about it." You want it to where when you leave, your business doubles because they're wanting to impress you. And they want you to leave because they know that they can do better. Right? And then you always want to be talking about the future. Regardless of what happens... And I'm giving you ideas here because I don't know what certain things you guys need. But regardless of what happens, that's what's supposed to happen. "Hey, my appointment cancelled and I didn't sell anything." "No, problem. What's next?" Your job is to not get them to dwell on the problem, but to focus on what's next. "Hey, my course bombed." "That's fine. What did you learn from it? What did you do well? Cool. Let's focus on the next one. Failure is a part of the process." Because if you put all this energy towards it, they're going to think what? "Oh, man. You're right. That was horrible." Because they always… People want to dwell on their problems. Misery loves company. Right? So if they're like, "Yeah, I didn't do well," "No, problem. That's normal. What's next?" Always future, future, future, "What's next? What's next? What's next?" Right? That's what you want to portray as a leader. And just realize, guys, you're always leading. You're always leading, and people are always watching you. So that's what it says. You're always leading. People are always watching. So make sure you understand that. So accountability questions to ask, and you probably can get these down when you rewatch it. I always ask them, "Do you mind if I hold you to higher standards?" And if they say, "No," then…You want to ask for permission. You don't want just to be tough on them. "Hey, do you mind if I hold you to higher standards in this organization? Do you mind if I hold you to higher standards than you're used to?" "Sure." "Awesome." Ninety-nine percent of the time, they say "Yes," right? "So what do you think is preventing you from following through with your commitments?" And these are just simple things I would ask. "What is that costing you right now? What could it cost you long term if you really think about not following through on those commitments you said you were going to do? What can you do differently today to make measurable improvements in that area?" Right? "That sounds like a very wise solution. Can I count on you to follow through by 'blank' date and time?" They always say, "Yes." You want them to come up with a solution. "What do you think is a wise solution?" And what I used to say that I truly believe is, "I'd feel like a bad mentor not calling you out. I'd feel like a bad coach not calling you out. I know most people would let it slide that you were late, but I'm not going to let it slide. Because I'd feel like a bad mentor, because I actually care about your future and your success, that I'm going to call you out if you're late. Because I actually care about you." And they're like, "Wow. No one, actually, has ever cared about me like that. Most people don't care if I'm late." So you want to be the mentor that's actually developing them to become a better human being. Right? And then schedule a time to reconnect with them to make sure they follow through. All right. So here's a trust conversation. You like that pic? The trust conversation, guys, goes like this. And you only have to have it once. If anyone in your organization doesn't follow through, you have to have the conversation where you're like, "Hey…" Let's say, they said they were going to be at your office at 5:30, or if they said they were going to give you the proposal by 6:00 Tuesday night, and they don't. Say, "Hey, Nancy, I'm a little concerned. I know you said you were going to give me that proposal at 6:00 and I still don't have it. Now, you and I both know you're way too good not to follow through. It's not actually the activity. It's that you didn't follow through on your word. Now, we have more of an issue about our relationship and your word, not just…It's not about the proposal, it's about trust and the basis of a relationship is trust. And if I can't trust you're going to follow through on your word, then we don't really have a basis for a relationship. And I really, really, really love your work and you're one of my best employees, but I've got to make sure either you let me know ahead of time or you follow through on your word. Can I make sure next time you actually follow through on your word? Because if not, there's no trust involved and there's no working relationship." And they're usually like, "Wow. They actually care about me following through on my word." Then, they'll either let you know or they'll give you accurate times. Because you want your whole team to actually understand the importance of integrity and following through on their word. Right? And you can do the tough…Sometimes you have to be the tough coach. Or I would scare kids a little bit sometimes if they were late because I cared about them. I'd be like, "Hey, don't ever be late again. I'm serious. Never. Because I actually care about you and if you're late, people don't respect you. And if you're trying to lead them, it's…" So I'd do that and they're like, "Jesus." Right? But afterwards, I'm like, "Hey, I only did that because I actually want you to succeed. If I don't tell you to be early and I don't care if you're late, that's when you have to worry." And they're always like, "Wow." So if we just had a culture of actually dealing in reality and helping people really be better, because most people in society are late and they don't care. So I said, "You don't want to be like most people, you want to actually be on time." And then how you make people feel when they leave your presence is a huge key. So when people leave a meeting with you, or they leave a phone call or a Skype interview, or they leave, anytime they leave you, they want to feel empowered. Because most of the time, when they leave somebody, somebody just told them that they shouldn't follow their dreams or that they shouldn't be an entrepreneur, or they shouldn't do this or they shouldn't do that, and they leave feeling discouraged. Most times, when someone leaves a conversation, they don't feel better than when they first entered the conversation. So you want to be the person that when they leave, they feel exceptional. "Dude, I feel like I can run through walls now. This is awesome." Right? So you want people to feel amazing when they're in your presence. That's what a leader does. That's the difference between cocky and confidence. Cocky people, when they're around you, they make you feel insecure. Confident people make you feel confident. The challenge. Make every person you interact with feel exception and put yourself in their perspective always. Leadership isn't a destination thing, it's a daily thing. Right? And the need for leadership right now, guys, is going up minute by minute. There's way too many people that don't know themselves that are following too much, not taking a stand and leading. So the need for leadership, the reason I agreed to do this is because the need for leadership is going…The demand's going so high, but there's not enough leadership out there that's relevant, that's congruent, that actually helps. So that's why I wanted to share all the stuff I've learned about leadership as well, and there's a lot. That's why we're going to simplify the end of this. But it doesn't matter how good you are now. It matters how good you want to be and then continuously, every day, taking little bits and pieces of what you're learning and executing on that. Okay? So implementation plan. Study the leadership attributes. Just study them. And then, of course, don't look at all of them. Figure out what two that you want to get better at. What two do you need to master? Can anyone already think of a couple they want to get better at? Raise your hand if you can think of some. Awesome. Three, be aware of the common failures. I would create your own version of the trust conversation. Because it's a weight off your shoulders, and it's an amazing feeling to have a team that all follows through. It's amazing. It takes a while to create it and you have to be a little tough at the front end. But when you create it, the results skyrocket, the morale skyrockets, the energy, the culture, what gets done. It's amazing. So have that conversation because there's nothing worse than people showing up late, people turning things in late, not caring about their word. It's hard to build a culture around that. Okay? Never stop growing and challenging yourself as well.