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Mirror Neurons

The biggest breakthrough in brain research in the last few years was at the university apartment italy and until then they knew on lee which part of the brain we do when we do different activities when we use this activity was this part of our brain and this very famous experiment don't take this personally, jack but they wired a monkey on they had electrodes going on the monkey's brain and they put peanuts in front of the monkey whenever the monkey touched a peanut a specific neuron went boo on the monitor every time you touch you mean it peanut the same one they were so excited that they get isolate down tto one neuron one synapse combination had never done that before it happened every time the accidental break too is one of the professors let's say it was dr rakesh moved the peanut and when he moved the peanut, the monkeys neuron went boom same one they were dumbfounded same thing happened again. It was as if the monkey couldn't tell the difference was it moving the peanut or someb...

ody else had the same reaction. They were so confused they look closer and what they discovered not only in all monkey in all mammal but all human brains they found something called mirror neurons you ever heard of mirror neurons gina has everybody say that word with me mirror mirror neurons one more time you know the short version which we mirror the emotion of our species on a subconscious level you can have a seat back jack thank you. This is so important a good communication I'll give you three quick examples if somebody yawns in a room let's say john yawns what might the rest of us do now they know lives because of mirror neuron stuff consciously your brain says that's right now I'm not getting enough oxygen I need teo the other reason we always to control brain temperature but it's all subconscious if you fake a yawn it doesn't work second example we all like to watch tv and go to the movies why a tiny part of our brain the mirror neurons actually thinks you're in the scene most of your brain knows you're not but the mirror neurons feel like you are you ever watch a movie or tv show and emotionally kind of get into it it's because of what part of our brain or e se mirror neurons okay that's the next question is all mirror neurons same what any sports fans in the room one the reasons we love watching sports is a tiny part of our brain which part thinks we're in the game? We do a lot of work with span last great athletes and coaches and said this is why you guys have such a huge industry I love sports and play a lot of not any good but I love sports I was in germany and they had a world cup match they don't let people like me go to the real matches but I'm in the village giant screen people eating drink it's really cool how they do that and I looked at the screen and I don't know much about soccer football but the goalie was reaching out to block the shot in slow motion and I looked over the crowd and show me what you think they were doing I looked over them and thinking you guys aren't gonna block the shot but what part of their brain thinks they can so the more we understand this, the more we can connect to an audience what's the secret wherever you want take any audience doesn't matter if it's four people the meeting four hundred conference or four million through a camera you have to go emotionally where you want the audience to go you go there first and they can follow if you hold back the emotion they cannot follow one more example let's say gen one of our terrific producers bring some more snacks here in creative life and write before they walk in. Gary tells a joke well we're all laughing and smiling we're having a great time we're not laughing at anybody we're just having a great time as we're laughing and smiling and jen peaks in the door to put the snacks on the table what does she do that's laughing but why would she laugh and smile if she doesn't even know what was said our emotions spreads to her whether she wants it to or not unless she blocks it so what's the secret when you want to take an audience somewhere you have to go there first if you're confident in yourself well with the audience feel if you inside doubt yourself what would the audience dio they without you? So whatever you're feeling on lee works if you let yourself out now most of you when you read your card in the camera did a pretty good job but when and you did your baseline talk most of you have your own filter up when we don't know the audience when you put your filter off what will the audience d'oh they'll put their filter up so now you double block the audience from connecting to you if you want the audience to drop their filter, what do you need to do? Drop yours let your personality come out your personality is perfect but you have to let it out. Jack has a great personality but you can't copy him jean is a great person you can't copy her you have to become better and better at being yourself the real you, your humor, your curiosity and that's what's going to really connect the most with the audience all right, we talked about filters talked about mirror neurons we talked about pictures and emotions when I say go I want to turn to the person next to you so do you two you two you two you two folks online answer this question take thirty seconds think of three things that you think make filters go down we're all experts were all learners of communications and inexhaustible topic but what do you think makes filters go down? You know when I see speakers do this or people in meetings that really makes filters go down so see if you can come up with three things in thirty seconds bonus points if you can think about why it works ready begin what makes filters go down go ahead and type in this's what I think it was effective I guess putting yourself in the story teo in audience I was thinking like pausing and sharing all of their those things that they're noticing I'm gonna hold off on saying them because I want to let these guys think of their own but we're definitely getting everything in I just want to give a big thank you to everyone out there who is participating so much this is really awesome bill people are jumping in and just really engaged in it, so I love it keep it up throughout the rest of the day that's right connect five seconds left three two one turn back this way all right I'ma call one from each group and they're everybody else I want you to tell me why it works including their friends online now when you call it an audience you don't let the first group give all three why not so when they got nothing left exactly you spread the joy spread the love so you get one from this one one from this one you could go back around many times you can't be always keeping everybody in keeping their filters down all right let's get one from you guys jack laurette phone when the when the presenter is engaged with and presented with the audience right when he is uh oh here she is um paying attention looking at the audience opening up to the audience very good when you open yourself to the audience and when you engage them the audience is not there to sit around while you talk how many times have I involved you guys so far today a lot when you learned how to make the audience the star you will shine more brightly so that's another one what makes the filters come down tell them a story good. Why do stories work? Um I think as you were just telling a story about the monkey right uh we were all listening what's gonna happen what's gonna happen there there's gonna be something there at the end? Some reward and the story gets us there and we're gonna learn in level for how to tell even more powerful stories but all stories air our pictures and emotions they're built on somebody go of characters in conflict but it's all pictures and emotions greatest teachers in history you stories religious leaders use stories ingrates leaders today you stories gets its a very fast way to connect to the brain and go right into the memory centers let's hear another one we're talking about personal anecdotes so either the presenter telling a story about themselves or engaging someone else to tell a story about themselves all right fellow experts why do personal anecdotes work you're on your own because their first people like that feeling off friendliness of openness off but I want to understand why things work and why there's someone else get excited about something and then you feel like you're living it with him very good so when you put your own filter down make yourself a little vulnerable and share that part of you that they're gonna have the same human reaction to you good one more humor humor why does humor work making people laugh is engaging firstly and secondly it also spikes up your own emotions in terms of a happier state rather than who has to think it's funny first the speaker very good so half a great comedians work with some famous comedians half the joke is they think it's funny like we all start to giggle even before they start to tell the joke. One guy was coaching and said, well, bill, actually, before I met you, I started speech once with a joke and it didn't work, I stopped halfway through. I'm just not funny, and I could try that again. Well, if you start with the joke and the audience doesn't know you, it might not hit right away. Why not? I know you will and you say don't they don't know you're being funny every audience takes a few minutes to adjust to the personality of the person listening to always so you can't stop halfway through and retreat back across the bridge you have to commit to your personality if the first joke doesn't land, don't worry was good comedian doesn't first one doesn't land what do they do? Another one another one another one? The audience will one hundred percent of time adjust your personality if you commit to it, you have to be mohr you not less, and humor is pictures and emotions. It is you getting over yourself, becoming the characters you're all going to tell a joke today we have pre fifty preapproved funny jokes and they're all clean, so you won't know any of these ghetto used these for practicing all right folks online, what are we hearing? Actually we have joyce v who says honesty and being friendly I think it works because they get in the same boat with me they don't come forward is a know it all but as a fellow human in the fight very good thinking joyce story seems to be something there's a path and a lot of people mentioned this fellow stars talks about humor, pace and warmth yes and girl human gestures directive smiling is another thing human seems to be coming up quite a lot of with the online audience so smiling is if you're here in beautiful san francisco if you walk downtown outside and somebody don't know when you passed him on the street you turn and smile at them when they walked past what will they do smile back it might be don't get any closer I'm gonna call the police kind of smile but you can't help yourself because of the way our brains are wired let's go back to joyce is comment about acting like we don't know it all should never compare people animals right that's not nice it's not politically correct so let's do it anyway really smart people are like alligators all of you are like alligators to me can you get alligators tow line up and do what they're supposed to do? You know they can't be trained that way how do you motivate an alligator food and what they like to eat meet do you throw some meat and the alligators were crazy for the meat smart people your meat is problems I'll prove to you that j joyce is even more brilliant than she realized I'll prove to you that your alligators raise your hand the following statement is true in real life you're kind of good at solving problems if there's a problem you can usually find solution yes second question in real life do you like the feeling when you solve a problem when you figure it out when you solve it before everybody else do you like that feeling you've fallen into my trap in real life you're so good at solving problems and you're so happy when you solve them you're not happy unless you have what problems to solve the ceo secret when you act like you have all the answers I you just sit there I'm the boss you just do what I tell you to what happens you become the giant piece of filet mignon you become the problem to be solved oh yeah you're not that smart but when you give the audience something meaty to do I want you guys to come up with your best idea on this I want your suggestion want your opinions then you've got them eating out of the palm of your hand people are so smart you can pull them in but not by acting like you have all the answers there is no perfect it communication where all experts and we're all lerner's, the person who is smart but still humble and learning from everybody else is the one we're attracted to. Okay, we'll come back to the stop, but I'm gonna give you the now the number one tip of the whole day if you forget everything else we learned the whole three days, but this next one, you can improve your communication up to thirty percent in english. The word is, um, um, uh, how do you say I'm in spanish and french? Uh, every language has versions of it. Why do we say, um, you know, instead of just staying quiet and because we're uncomfortable with what the silence, the silence let's, turn it completely on a tear silence is the most powerful tool you will ever have is a speaker. The spoken word is silver, but silence is golden. My favorite quote from the quakers is speak only when you can improve upon the silence. More more comfortable is these go on with the power of silence. So many good things have this has the audience is remembering what you just said they're connecting all the understanding is flowing into their mind, sets up the next thought, you don't want to mess it up with the arms and us if you had to write a definition for the word basically what's the definition of basically if someone wasn't a native english speaker, what is basically means simply simply anybody else fundamentally basically is a fancy way to say, um means nothing adds nothing. Roberto, do we have the orange cards? We could do a little exercise, but first, a definition. I want you all to memorize. Everybody repeat this following definition with me, everybody online. Type it in if you can to really just have it click in your brain. Weak language is anything that doesn't add value. Everybody say it with me we language anything that doesn't add value every sound that comes out of your mouth makes your message stronger or it makes it weaker. There's no neutral all this week language eyes weak language basically is weak language. All right, I need everybody to stand up, put your books down and hold your orange card. Now I'm gonna start with who's who's, one of the best actors in the group who's a great fest being among us come on attaches a really great actor. Wei have a rule in a lot of my company's whenever you volunteered somebody else, you just volunteered yourself gerry's gonna go stay right where you are, stay where we are okay, we're gonna go on a fast circle and we're bringing you to hollywood you're now actors and you're going to read your orange card in the role of a teenager in a movie you have to act like a stereotypical teenager the way you read your orange card we're gonna go on a fast circle make it all one sentence everybody understand should become become the character ready go lo g t g b r b okay are you really going there to tell you the truth? And then he said, you know I do that is so not going to happen I go like yeah and she says I'm not gonna lie teo uh I've got some good actors, some good teenagers, so when teenagers say any of those words, what does any of it mean was any of that means nothing it's always language it's all basically it means nothing. Then we go off to university, we learnt a much better brand of weak language. We learn words and phrases that's home really articulate, intelligent till you analyse them realize they don't mean it flipped your blue cards this time we're going to start with richard and come around this way this I want you to read it as if you're the most snobby professor we've all met we've all had some really awesome professors and a lot of the coolest professors but that's not what you're gonna pretend to be now you're gonna pretend to be a really snobby professor that you're so intelligent people should just hang on your words ready go when I'm trying to say do you know this way? At the end of the day it is what it is look, I could go on and on, you know what I mean? Not for nothing but this is my opinion, I'm going to tell you that it takes all kinds I must admit, all right, you guys can have a seat until all those phrases. What do they mean in business? Up to fifty percent of what everybody says this week language it has no value if you just wipe that out sixty minute means all the way automatically become thirty minutes. What would it be worth to your industry, your business, your work? If all meetings, pitches and presentations were fifty percent more effective and shorter, what would be worth to you to get out of work thirty minutes early every day for the rest of your life change happens only when you trigger in the brain I'm going to make that happen, you have to have the emotional trigger I'm gonna wipe out the weak language, but first let's do a test or ten that russ and john just introduced me and I'm going to a new opening see if you can spot the weak language making you experts all day long you're becoming the professional speaking coaches so as you watch my opening, see if you can spot the weak language or by ready thank you, russ for that wonderful introduction and john so good to be with you guys. My name is bill and we're gonna talk about communication. We're gonna walk you through techniques that basically make you a better presenter lets go ahead and get started did anybody spot any weak language in my opening? What'd you spot there was a, um basically there's a basically anything else there was it's good to be here very good let's go ahead and get started. You either do or don't get started thank you, master yoda. How about the word today is today week language? Well, did anybody not know that today was gonna be today before you came in the mail? When you register, you get the e mails you didn't get that point taken. Every word I said was weak there's not a single thing. I said that you didn't already know and all audiences are prejudice. They prejudge the first twenty or thirty seconds is nothing really new where the filter is gonna go go up even if they like you and like the topic, the bad news is that a normal opening in business we take our first twenty thirty seconds instead of pushing the filters down we're driving them up because we're doing what we think everybody else wants to hear will teach you better ways to replace it all with a butt first show you how powerful this is I want everybody including the folks online to raise your hand and physically raise your hand even freeze office if everybody thinks you're on drugs don't worry, just roll with it raise your hand if you can think of somebody you know at work or at home no names but somebody who takes this long to say this much raise your hand if you can think of something like that no names when that person opens their mouth what is your brain d'oh they can't shut off so what does it do? You check the filters go wait up even if you like the person even if you like what they're saying and now you understand a little bit of why they use so much weak language they're driving your filters up without realizing it. Raise your other hand if you can think of someone who is the exact opposite that when they open their mouth your filters tend to go down they don't waste a lot of words and you want to hear more from them raise your hand if you can think of something like that at work or home for you all right, this one's a great compliment this one you can type in online if anybody says you could be a specific person it could be a name it could be a character in your life but who is some of that? Those people for you anybody want say who it is? My dad good somebody else my former manager a buddhist monk my boyfriend there's a good boyfriend points here there's a good number of people that I work with. Very good. Wouldn't it be great if we ask this in the future creative life seminar and somebody said your name our goal is to make everybody in that second category be able to say a lot more with a lot less but the key is to get rid of the weak language so we do a little exercise our producers have handed out to everybody a soda and what they did with soda generic brand x is what they did with your soda is they put twice as much water inside the soda so folks at home I want to do the same thing I want to take your favorite beverage it could be a soda coffee orange juice put about this much in a cup and then ruin it with the water poured inside go ahead and grab some beverage and do that now how does your beverage look alright? Is it look appetizing no what's the problem we did it so what water has no taste for test what's the issue I want soda okay actually takes with this all right let's all drink a toast to the death ofthe all week language and see how it tastes ready go you're here that's what it tastes like to the brain when we use weak language so I did this in beijing recently with a group of ceos and one of them drank the whole thing down to build I always put water in my soul dies that great ceo all of china waters is sold I got him in my seminar I did in strasbourg, france and they refused to drink the soda they said billy will not drink it come on I'm an american I won't tell you but you had some sort of nobility will not drink it so what if we took your favorite alsatian wine and report in the water? They said then we would have to kill you. I do a lot of work with hollywood with some wonderful people out of celebrities who actually do a lot with the agents as well when the agency and they turn into a drinking game and I want to play the game with everybody now so folks online as well I want everybody stand up pick a new partner and faced me and I want lori and jack to come on up on the stage we'll take turns being up on the on the stage all right here's your task everybody turned to each other and you are going to when I say go first of all raise your hands which of the two of you has the coolest shoes on of the two of you raise your hands who's got the coolest shoes all right, cool shoes you're gonna go first I'm gonna give you a question you're gonna turn to your partner you're gonna answer for thirty seconds now who is ultimately the judge of weak language the speaker of the audience who decides the audience and something could be strong in one context weekend another so when you talk for thirty seconds use keep going for thirty seconds your goals to not use weak language your partner's goal is to catch you using any weak language so if my partner was jack and he said, well, I think that I point to his company has to drink he cannot argue I'm the audience I have spoken I think what he said this week and he said, okay, I drink when you're the speaker, your goal is to do thirty seconds everybody understand all right, they're question all of you will do this simultaneously cool shoes you go first, you have thirty seconds what do you think you'll be doing five years from today and folks at home ready begin five years from today I have no idea what I will be doing it could be anything and everything live this constant change you never know what's gonna happen next so far has changed about three times I started one pat honey has changed a couple of simon sense I really think that in five years I didn't catch that yes, I hate it in five years I could be doing anything I would like to borrow free stopped there and not too bad how'd that feel all of these techniques are called cognitive skill development it's like anybody here know how to drive a stick shift manual car when you're learning to drive a normal car and then you learn to drive a stick shift how does it feel in that transition? First few times you drive how's it feel uncomfortable or any used to kind of stumble stumble it's awkward it's too many things to think about once and then what just starts to happen and eventually what happens layers into a new normal you're adding new skills when you're struggling you're stumbling up the mountain that's when you're learning that that means you're doing it right okay now let's switch pay back time alright partners here's your question what do you think you'll be doing ten years from today ready begin well ten years from today I will well take a drink folks online if you could do the same safer having drunk let me catch myself soda but getting your old reverend just gonna be clean to the next part I have given up caffeine so ten years from today it will be envious that you have done better than idea of this exercise but I will be doing better at eliminating you from my five seconds three, two, one stop. All right, what do you notice what we noticed from that shawna he was way better than I wass what else pausing gives you the time to think about language that is stronger very good too instead of the well I think we just replace those crutches with pausing why? Why does this matter? Let's say retest tells a joke in the whole audience is laughing he can't speak again until when what if he speaks while they're still laughing it's a double bad they won't hear him and he undercuts the power of the laughter he created you have to let the laughter to go to the full two second cycle they picture what you said they get it the mirror neurons the emotion is contagious, we laugh cascades it comes back down the whole cycle takes about two seconds you have to let that breathe all of the emotions flowing in those if you say well, I think in the middle of that you're undercutting its power the advantage to laughter's you're here tells you when it's done, you know when to continue every other emotions about the same length of time when you make a strong statement and the audience is looking up or looking down, what does that mean? Not necessarily so let's say jack says here's why we need to do a b and c and everybody is like up and down what does that mean thinking about their thinking they're processing what you just said we have to give them two seconds sometimes more sometimes last to finish processing before you continue in their eyes are always telling you when they're ready they're always telling you I'm still thinking I'm back with you okay? I want everybody to keep rid of their weak language we're on a mission to stamp it out worldwide so we get this question all the time all right billion major point we do use some weak language even when we're trying not to how do we get rid of it? We've tried everything with audiences all over the world right too and I everybody the in the room team we do these trains all over the globe the thing that works the best is you do the drinking game for one week you take your favorite beverage, coffee, whatever you like to do and ruin it with the water and you go to your meetings every time you find yourself saying um er well you take a sip nobody knows what you're doing after a couple days starts to go away after a couple more days you'll be in a medium like I just said something in five sentences I could have said it in two and then a couple more days you'll say it in two sentences instead of five now is it worth going through the pain of that for a week to get rid of the weak language for life on lee you can make that decision my advice don't wait till you're eighty two and take the class at the senior center and master all the skills then the more you do it early in your career them or advantage you have ok, I want every to gently pass your drinks over to the side we don't want to give melissa heart attack on the nice new carpet and have a seat I'm gonna pause for last minute questions and then we'll close with our ah ha moments questions from the group yeah, I think we've got maybe two questions here before we close out uh janine see just right on topic here what I find is that when you pause in the conversation other people tend to jump in speaking so how can you use that strong language but avoid losing your turn great question so one option is you use the hand hold it so my thought is what we really need to do is and then they won't jump in because you're holding the room with your hand. The second one is a pregnant pause, russ told me three words I'll never forget, he said, if you really want to do well on st two, three words you gotta remember are no one's gonna interrupt me in that time because it's a pregnant pause, it's clear there's another answer, but if you're just finishing, taking a breath and sometimes what happens in meetings as well? When I have the floor, I have to keep talking because I don't want to give it up instead of creating a space where we all say less, but say it more often. Great question to a question, as you just did with the phrase great question, is that considered weak language? What do you think? I think so show me your fingers if you thought zero was terribly weak, tena means is really strong ready go so two mics, everybody is a different and sometimes from one person's weak for one. Not if the goal is to try to validate and connect and then pivot to an answer, but it could come off very weak and into that person the audience let's say there's ten percent people did feel weak, it is weak you're always trying to make it stronger stronger which is actually from the internet from shrew me who's asking does productive communication time increase if people are standing up what do you think I don't know to be really honest I haven't thought about it I would say yes why is standing better than city generally it's not always possible inappropriate tired okay it takes more energy so you're releasing more energy good what else but you're more energized and I feel like I'm more creative than that when you are in your commanding more you can use a lot more body language good all right here's what I want to close level module one I want each of you to share an ah ha from module one so and we'll share those online as well so what was something that really stuck with you it could be something from your blue card something from the group something knows from her partner from the moderators from the questions from our online community but what really stuck with you you know what I didn't know before but I really learned I want you each share that ah ha but I want you deliver the ah ha with the techniques you learned you're gonna take over the stage when you do your ah ha you're going to make eye contact smile all the different techniques that you've learned everyone understand so just one sentence gnome or what was your ah ha from module one but delivered with some of the technique you learned we'll go in whatever order the spirit moves you who would like to begin just one thing okay gina take over my ah ha moment is a quote that bill said when you hold back they hold back because when you can't show your true passions and inspirations than they can't find that within themselves what's going on on deck whoever's next come on over here and be ready silence it's it's the most important tool you have as a speaker speak only when you have something to say all right for smart people the meet is the problem well spoken mr alligator gary you really have to bring down the filters of your audience don't act like you have all the answers give someone a problem to solve everyone listens with filters on get through the filter connect with your audience always remember to bring the emotions from your audience way mirror the emotions off our species great all right, well nicely go what you do all line up on the stage by birthday for born january there february march, april, may, june, july, august september go no papers lining my birthday march are honest twenty seven okay roberto is gonna put we're gonna put you into teams of birthday buddy so you guys are a team your team your team we're gonna be a task during the break and the task is remember, he did your blue cards on camera before we started. Roberto is going to give you a choice of four cards. You're gonna pick one yellow car and that car is going to be your content. We're gonna give folks online a special card themselves that you're going to be able to do if you want it, it's the same exercise. Once you have your car, you're gonna have a couple minutes. You go sit wherever you want the film, it will be done and you can figure out a way to present that car to the camera in the studio. You can teach it any way you want. They just take the concept. You're the public speaking coach, you have to take that concept and teach it to the camera about thirty seconds more, less total and you do together as a team that's the task. I want each team the way you teach it to do something different I have never seen before. I don't care what it is, so the way you teach it, you have to come up with something I've never seen. You can stand on your head, sing a song, use props and so forth we have props that we brought on the tables. You can act out of play, you can do whatever you want, so the camera folks will be your paparazzi and they're going to film you. But you have about thirty seconds during the break to film its who's. You're done little bio break, and then we're beginning. Everybody understand the task, roberto, won't you go ahead and let them choose a card? Once you've got your card, then you can begin and folks at home, your task is the following, and we've posted this online, but you're going to read. This change creates energy. You don't want to have everything be the same you want, always change things up the way you do things, the way you teach you guys were already. And before we fade to black folks online, think of how you would teach. This change creates energy.