What We're Doing and What We're Not Doing
Lesson 2 from: Unfu*k YourSELFGary John Bishop
What We're Doing and What We're Not Doing
Lesson 2 from: Unfu*k YourSELFGary John Bishop
Lesson Info
2. What We're Doing and What We're Not Doing
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Lesson Info
What We're Doing and What We're Not Doing
Let me talk about what we're actually gonna be doin here, alright? But it's critical that you're clear about what we're not gonna be doin too. Alright, so, we're not gonna doin psychology; I'm not a psychologist. This isn't about psychiatry or neuroscience or pop science. This isn't something that I learned from spendin 20 years in the Amazon studying monkeys. Didn't do that. And it's not somethin that I just made up this morning over my second cup of coffee. This course is set against a background of philosophy and, specifically, ontology and phenomenology. Now, don't worry if you don't know what those words mean. Some of that will become clearer as we make our way through this. A very basic principal that I'm introducin here for you is that we go through our lives with a myriad of things... on our mind... that we actually don't know are on our minds. Will you think of that for a moment? That you go through your life with stuff on your mind that you don't even realize is on your mind.
These things are floating just below the consciousness and they have a profound impact on everything that you do. And I mean everything that you do. I like to think of it like a bucket. As you make your way through life, you inevitably put up with and overcome certain things like, you know, my boss is an asshole or my partner is dominating... or my waist could be doin with a couple of inch, I could lose an ounce off my heel. That would be good. Or you procrastinate a little too much to get the important things done. Each thing that you put up with goes in the bucket. Now, of course, this magic little bucket of yours, it's quite light at the beginning of your life as you dance your way through the daisies of your youth, but, over time, it gets heavier and heavier and fuller... and fuller... bit by bit by bit. You get skipped for that promotion. You notice that wrinkle is getting kinda cavernous. Now, each time you look in the bathroom mirror it's like, "What's goin on with this?" (audience laughs) Or it's some asshole cuts you off on the way to work. Into the bucket. You're late for an appointment. You got fired or dumped or ignored or abandoned. Into the bucket. On and on and on one grain of sand at a time, all gettin loaded into that precious little bucket of yours. As the bucket gets heavier and heavier, not only do the hard things in life get harder, but even the things that used to be easy start to get a little more challenging. Like, you and your partner are havin fights, or you're havin trouble meetin deadlines, strugglin to get outta bed in the morning. Maybe, you're on the other side of the coin. You're rushed off your feet, overwhelmed, worried. Or maybe you're flat-lining in life, like it's goin nowhere. And the worst part of it all is, we don't even realize that that bucket has got so damn heavy. That's because human beings are absolutely brilliant at making things okay... that are not okay. Even their misery, their pain, their burden. It gets thrown into the "okay bucket". So, there's a quote by the Danish philosopher, Soron Kierkegaard. "People settle for a level of despair they can tolerate... and call it happiness." I can see some of you already, like sinkin at your chair, like, "Oh my God!" (audience laughs) "This is bad news... Mr. Scottish Man." But I really invite you to see yourself here. Pushing ahead, grinding it out, all the while waitin for a day when it finally works out for you, when it all comes together, you have the money you want, you got the body you wanted, you got that inner peace that you crave and the love of your life rubbing your feet with mystical oils from ancient Persia. Yeah, that day. Some of you are like, "What's he mean, the oils aren't comin, what?" (audience laughs) But in the meantime... You're not makin enough money, but you find a way to make it work, don't you? Coupon your way through the week. (audience laughs) Or your relationships in shambles, but you just find a way to stick it out. And with each daily instance, another drop goes in the bucket. Your health, that book you were gonna write, remember that book? The check engine light in your car that keeps flashin at you and it's been on for so long, you don't even see it anymore. (audience laughs) Or you did what I did and you put a bit of black tape on it. (audience laughs) And then a year later, you realize, "What's that tape doin there?" "Oh, (laughs) the check engine light." The weight of it all continues, the okay-ness that you are with all of that grows... and your capacity for just being yourself is shrinking and contracting, so you go off in search of answers, right? "I'll get a better car... "More money... "Smaller car, less things, get rid of things, get the things out." All of it to fix some problem, but no matter what you've done it never quite fixed it, never quite took care of it. And remember, you've been carryin this bucket around for so long, you're totally used to it. You don't even notice it most of the time. You're too busy livin with it. You make your way through life livin with that bucket. It's a bit like that feeling, if any of you've ever gone on a hike and you've got a backpack on. And the first time you put it on, you're like, "Oof, it's kinda, whoo." But after a while, you totally forgets it's there. You don't realize it's there until, when? (audience members mumble) When you take it off, then you're like, "Oh, that was..." (audience laughs) "That was heavy." (audience laughs) It's only once we've actually freed ourselves from our burdens that we realize how much weight we've actually been carrying. And you're used to it, like I said. Now... this course is gonna show you not only how and why you do this, why do you do this as a human being, but it'll give ya an opportunity to start emptying that bucket of yours out, lightening that load a little... setting you free to finally live the life that you say you're after.
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Sonya L
LOVE THIS CLASS. This is the best class I have even followed. So inspiring. A few words to describe the class transparent, sincere, fun, inspiring, and motivational. I felt like I was in the studio with everybody else. Best class ever. Thank you all of you.
Gary Manzo
I found the course helpful in identifying my own areas of concern. Accepting that I must take a stand, for the life I want, is very significant and meaningful. As an artist, I realize I want to be considered "great" and without living/acting like a great artist I will never realize the goal, or experience the journey which is as important and satisfying as some sort of finalized goal. I recall hearing the expression, "what you pretend to be you become" years ago. Not until today it the meaning "click" with me as a enjoyable "ah ha" moment.
Amy
Gary has a wonderful ability to give you a step-by-step approach to improving your life significantly. I've listened to many thought leaders and I found his assignments and grounding in amazing philosophers to be entertaining, achievable and inspiring.
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