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Pendulums

Has anyone experienced resistance talking to your parents or talking to people that are older than you or loved ones about changes that you're making and how it's playing out for you? Anyone experience that? Yeah? Experience resistance? Yeah. It's something that as leaders we have to come to terms with. A lot of times we are going to get resistance because of the things that we're doing are purposely pushing the comfort zone and the, you know, our ideas are going into the things that are unknown and we're trying to strengthen ourselves in new and interesting ways and it's challenging. And so you have to become accustomed to that resistance. It's not necessarily your job to convince people to see things the way that you see them. But you will over time, convince people, as you again just are the way that you are. They're going to look at you and they're going to see that the way that you're responding to challenges in your life is different than the way that they're responding to challe...

nges. And they're going to wonder how are they able to do that? And that's when they start to question it and that's when they even start to have a conversation with you. And that's when you share this kind of stuff. This type of stuff is really heady. And it might not be useful to have a conversation of paradigms with people until they're ready to have that conversation. You can't force this on them. This is a way for you to internalize and classify the things that happening in your life and communicate that. And pendulums is a great example of this. So pendulums is another invisible structure. And so you think we're going down in the levels. We started off with paradigms, which are like the invisible lines that create the framework of that house. And pendulums are a little bit more specific and they have , they have to do with emotions. So pendulums, are invisible structures that create waves of emotion and control large segments of people through 'Groupthink'. So, if you think about just like the way a pendulum itself works, you know you take one ball and it creates a wave of energy that brings the other ball into motion and it self-perpetuates. And as long as the balls keep hitting each other, it will keep creating that energy. Pendulums are invisible structures created by the energy of a group, of people thinking and feeling the same way. And pendulums, play on human emotions and they gain more energy as they trap more people inside of their - that wave. And if you think about it, emotions are well, what they sound like. Energy in motion. Right? And, at a certain point, pendulums become self-sustaining. There are a lot of emotional waves, we'll be talking about in just a few slides, which, don't even need a lot of conscious human reinforcement to continue playing out, because they create their own type of structure. Um, you know the interesting too, is that, with pendulums, for instance, it's not just one ball that's creating the energy. It's not just one ball that's smacking, it's both. Right? And, the easiest way to spot pendulums, is to look for the cause and effect of certain situations and to understand what the root is and why it's happening. So, let's get some more specific examples. So, you look at something like, like war. War is the greatest pendulum of all time. You know? War is the emotional pendulum at it's finest. You think about, for instance, 9/11. We all, kind of, memory and recollection of what happened during that day and our own perception of what that meant. And, think about the events that played out as a result of that. So, the Twin Towers got hit, we all watched the Twin Towers fall, and then there was commotion in New York, followed by, you know, the bringing together of the people, followed by the President coming up, followed by, you know, us going off to war, followed by years of war in Iraq and Afghanistan, followed by, all this crazy new security measures, that we've taken, 'we're code yellow today', 'we're code red today'. I just got- obviously, I went through the airport to come here, and I went through that ridiculous security protocol. I'm taking off my shoes, they're scanning me in the X-ray, which doesn't even work. Why every time do I go in the x-ray, if I have nothing on, does it still beep? And I'm like "Ya'll have all this equipment, of all this machinery and it costs all of this money, and it doesn't work?" But, think about the pendulum of effects here. We have all this emotional energy that happened, and because of that , now twenty years later, we're still swinging, we're still talking about it, And you know, it's not that we don't honor the dead and that's a whole conversation and how you wanna support and celebrate is your own thing, but the fact that twenty years later, we're still like "never forget 9/11", well, if you never forget 9/11, we're gonna be living in that loop forever. And now we have Pearl Harbor as a thing, we have 9/11 as a thing, we take these emotional moments, especially connected to war and what does war create? It creates anger and sadness and duty and pride and patriotism and fear and honor and all these emotions energize large groups of people, and it keeps them swinging for years. And of course, when we're reeling from an emotion, it makes us easier to manipulate and easier to control, So of course, if we're angry, if we're upset, or if we're feeling pride, then someone can say, "Okay, now we have to solve this problem, cause there's a way things should and shouldn't be". So then we go to war, and then we have young guys, who go off and get killed and all that's because of this emotional pendulum that's swinging, and we're inside all of this stuff. And, if you get taken over by that stuff, you won't even realize it's happened. You'll think, "This is what I should be doing. This is the right emotion to feel". When really, you're living inside of something, that's not of your own creation. You're being influenced to think in a certain way, that was created by the emotional swing, of events that you don't have control of and are really outside of you. And remember, we're thinking about developing our own inner power and the more that we stay susceptible to the things outside of us, the more we drain our power. These invitable structures are power drainers, Right? As long as we stay susceptible to these, and there's lots of these. It's not just war. Think about Ali, Muhammad Ali, back in Vietnam. You know? He was harshly criticized for not obeying the draft and harshly criticized for not involving himself in the war. Now what did he say? He said, "I'm not going to go over to Vietnam, I don't have any problems with, you know, Viet Cong. They never kicked me, they never raped my family, they never lynched me. I don't have any problems with these guys. Why am I going to go over there and shoot poor, little dark and black people? For what? And if I have a problem, you know, it's with America right here. I'm getting killed right here. If I have a problem, if I'm gonna die, I'll die right here, fighting you!" This isn't about civil rights, this is more about understanding the pendulum. This is a man stepping into his power, who had everything to lose. He had everything to lose knowing that, he actually did lose his title, he lost his license to box, he lost all his money, he was sentanced to prison but he stayed out on appeal cause they just kept fighting it and fighting it. And then, the nation trashed him! Right? But then, what happened? Years later, they said " Congratulations Ali! You're so strong and courageous, you really stood up for yourself". While in the moment, they trashed him because he stepped outside that pendulum, as a man standing in his power, and realizing that he was the creator of his own destiny and understanding that he was outside of all the things happening that what involving him- he was able to become aligned with himself. And remember, when who you are on the inside, is aligned with who you are acting as on the outside, that alignment creates a resonant power, and that's why when someone like Ali, either inside or outside the ring, appeared, people crumbled for him. They crumbled for Muhammad Ali. Because he had this resonant power that's rooted in a deep security and a knowing of himself. And how hard must that have been as a black man, in the 60's and 70's, to create that type of power within yourself. And think about, it wasn't just Muhammad, it was all these other men and women, who fought in this way. How hard was it to generate that power? It takes a tremendous amount of work and effort and energy. But it's the only way to stay outside these pendulums. And so we have to think about this. And there's more than just the war pendulum. There's religion. Religion is a huge pendulum. The idea of- the fact that, we've been going to war, over the same types of problems for years, we have, the Middle East is never going to calm down, in Ireland, you have, in Ireland and Northern Ireland, you have- you have Catholics and Protestants fighting each other, and they're both Christians, they're under the umbrella of Christianity, even if they're at war sometimes. It's weird right? Pendulums, emotional pendulums. You know, you have things like politics and news media, I don't need to tell you why that's a pendulum, you turn on your Apple News and it's like, all the headlines right there, and the next day, the headlines have the reverse position. They're like, "Trump said this. Actually, he said that. Actually he said this. This person's getting fired. This person's going to jail." And it just whips you around, back and forth. I remember when I was- I was in- I was visiting a friend in Connecticut a few months ago, a few weeks ago, and there was this thing that came up where they were, like, do you still vote in Florida? Cause I grew up in high school, in Florida, and they're like, "Hey, are you still registered to vote there?" And the first thing I did, was I lied, and I said, "Yeah, actually I still do vote in Florida". And then I stopped myself and I said, "That's just me, trying to not really talk about who I am on the inside" And I said, I corrected myself and I said, "You know what, actually? I don't vote anymore, to be honest". And they're like (gasps), "You don't vote?" And I could feel the energy in the room getting a little bit tense and of course it's a room full of doctors and lawyers, and they're like, "Well how are you gonna make change?" and "How are you gonna create new 'this' and 'that'?" And "What's gonna happen?" And I'm like "I don't vote because I feel like it just encourages them". The more I vote the more encouraged they are to run. So I don't vote. Cause I don't like any of the candidates. And this was a very big deal for me, cause I had to really step into that. For a while, too, you know, cause my family is Catholic, and I was raised not really Catholic, but feeling like that was the right thing to do. So when people say, "Are you Christian?" I'd say, "Sure!" And it took me many years to say, "I'm not anymore." And that took me a while to admit that. But there's an emotional component of not wanting to feel like an outcast, wanting to feel like part of the team, and not wanting to get people emotionally upset by your response. So, you stay within that pendulum. The Stock Market is a good example. It goes up and down, people's emotions ride up. Think about Bitcoin and Cryptocurrency over the last couple years. And everyone's up and down about it, your Facebook feed's all crazy about it. Flu season is another good example of the pendulum. Everyone's fine, until like, November, then, the News is like "Flu Season's here!" and everyone's like "Aghhh, I'm so sick!" You know? It's a pendulum though. And then my mom calls me and she's like, "Are you getting the flu shot?" And we know that the flu shot only works about 50% of the time. And the rest of the time people either get sick when they take it, or it doesn't work at all. You know? But of course, there's a big push and part of that's commercial. The same thing with sports teams, right? And not, all pendulums are sinister, by the way. There's also positive, fun pendulums. So, when you're in a sports stadium or an arena or you're at a concert, I mean, you think about why teams like to play for the home team, right? And they like to play at home? It's because there's actually an energy, and when the team plays at home, there's a much better chance that they're gonna win because all those screaming fans, are creating this emotional wave and this energy, that makes you feel like you're able to do more than you could do before. Right? Social Media is a great pendulum. It's a great example. I mean, you go on there, you're effected by it immediately. As soon as I go on Instagram, I'm feeling a certain way, about myself and about my life. Holiday's, advertisements. Great example of a pendulum. Holiday's, while they're very fun, don't have any intrinsic value in and of themselves. It only has a meaning because we've assigned a meaning to it. And we've assigned the idea of getting together with family, and being close and love and happiness and all these past memories and of course, that creates the situation, where you feel good and you feel happy around the holidays but this is an assigned value that creates an emotional response. And when you live inside that and you think that this holiday means you have to be happy, or, in some case, have to be sad, it controls your emotions. Same thing with your career. Your career's also a pendulum. The way you feel about your career, Will dictate, a lot of times, the action that you take. Can anyone think about other pendulums, that they might be living inside of or they might have experienced before? Can anyone think of any that are particularly nasty or particularly interesting? So I work in the dating industry, and I feel like there's a lot of pendulums about where people should be, who they should be with, what their relationship means, where their identity lies within, who their in a relationship with, who their partner is, just a lot of pressure about creating an identity around wherever they are, whether they're single or in a relationship or in a break up or in a divorce, it's just a lot of, I guess, energy and swinging, of, like, how you should feel about it, without thinking about how you actually feel about it. Yeah, and what it actually means. Right. You know? You look at life like Cosmo Magazine, and every month they have a new cover, with like, this is how things should be and this is, like, the way to have the best sex and this is the way to find the best partner, and it creates this emotional response in you, which creates a lot of insecurity if you're not very cognizant of it. You know? I was thinking that, like the politics pendulum, is really interesting and powerful one, that you mentioned. And, I was just thinking that I think there's- there's like, subset pendulums that you could also get caught in over the macro of politics. So, for example, if like your family believes a certain way. It's like a subset pendulum within the same idea. Yeah. It's like you get sucked into, "Oh, well my family always votes Democrat, so, I feel this way about Republicans now". And so now, you might see somebody, who is Republican and automatically feel a certain way about them, even if you don't know them. You know? Or, you have this wave of emotion, if your candidate wins, and if they lose you feel a certain way. And these things that are happening outside of you, are affecting your internal and they're changing the way that you see the world and the actions that you take and they're not really involved with you. They're just outside of you. And it's a great way to Segway into pendulums and entrepreneurship because in order to become powerful, especially as entrepreneurs, we have to be as clear-sighted as possible. You have to understand that you can't necessarily just be pulled into the direction and expect to be able to generate enough force to create what you want. A lot of us live deeply inside of these structures without even knowing it. And so, part of it, is awareness. Once we understand the pendulums that we're in, we can take a more prominent position in them, even if we're stuck in them, we can create better results living inside of them. Because, again, some of these structures are harder to break out of but just the awareness of them creates possibility for you to change and for you to create new things in your life. And so, in order to stop a negative pendulum, really there are two essential ways. The first way is to step outside of it. So, for me, that was the thing with the voting. Like, once I stepped outside of voting, none of the stuff on the news bothered me anymore. So, I'm like, "I'm not involved in that". And it was a clean break. There are a lot of things probably in your life that you allow you to affect yourself, emotionally and if you were to just step directly outside of them and not be involved with them anymore, then, it would be a lot easier for you to carry on with your life. Now, sometimes it's not possible to step outside the pendulum. Just because, you're too deeply in it, it's too integral to the society and the way that you live, so war is a great example, you know, in World War II, you couldn't necessarily step out of being in the pendulum of being in the war because if you're in America, or in any of the countries that were at war, you're in it. So, you're in that swinging pendulum, so what can you do? Well really, this is where it really comes to that deeper awareness of what's happening you can, essentially, rent yourself out. And what that means is, you can be inside a pendulum, and operate inside a pendulum, knowing that it's happening, and just the awareness that it's happening, creates a sense of distance and mitigates some of the possible damage from it. So you can be inside of a swinging, emotional pendulum, but just knowing that this is what's going on and that you have to be in here for a certain amount of time, as long as you stay conscious. Do not let yourself go unconscious. Do not let yourself get pulled in to the 'Groupthink'. As long as you can stay outside of that and create a mental, energetic barrier from that, you can operate in that for a much longer period of time. And in some cases, you can even come out on top because as we'll go into, a little bit later, but, as a capsule to this piece, each pendulum has a set of leaders and you can become a leader of the pendulum if you understand how it works, which is why it's helpful for entrepreneurship because even in the dating industry, you have to have an awareness on the pendulum in order for you to become successful at that. You have to understand the emotional ebb and flow and if you you can do this in yourself on top of that, you can then become powerful in that pendulum. And it doesn't mean that it has to be something that's evil or negative, there's positive pendulums that are a little bit less nefarious, but still something to be aware of. And so you can either, negate it and step outside of it, or you can take a role in it where you can understand what's going on, but your consciously choosing to be in it and to operate it from that perspective.