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How to Build Alliances and Raving Fans

So let's move on to our next point here, and that's alliances. How many people get to the top alone? Nobody. Or they might get to the top alone, but they're the only ones enjoying the view. They have nobody to share it with if they make it, or if they got lost, they don't have anybody to help them through. I believe that relationships and building alliances is crucial for a strategic approach to advancement, to becoming an influencer. Because if you don't have people, what are you gonna influence yourself? So you need other people that help you to expand that influence, people will believe in you, and the idea is to build good will and support. So if I do right by people and if I have a genuine desire to support and assist you with giving you information, then if there's a moment where I say, "Hey guys, I really need you to support me now." is the probability that you wanna do something for me higher? Of course. So people that don't do anything for other people, people who are using in...

fluence as a manipulation skill, generally, people can't wait to see them fall. That's not influence. Influence is when you build the good will and the support so that people want to see you succeed. I think that was probably the proudest moment of my life when I'm... In an acquisition of a company, there's this moment when their people are going through all of your stuff, including your divorce agreement, finances. I mean you are butt naked in front them basically, and they're looking at every aspect of your life. And then the certified financial analysis that we're running this, he came to me and he said, "You know," he says, "We do this all the time "and sometimes we see people make money "and we kinda go, 'That schmuck!'" He says, "But I'm looking at what you've done, "and I look how you ran your business." She says, "I don't think it could come for a better person." And that to me was such a powerful moment that at that level... It's a Bill Gates company, okay? That somebody at that level would say to me, "You deserve this "and I can see that you deserve this." That's a really powerful moment. That's the kind of support that I'm talking about. So, good people, and while it not always looks like it, but ultimately I believe that is the right way to go. So, let's talk about understanding relationships. So, you need other people, and you need other people because some of these people are gonna be your champions, especially when you're in an organization and you are starting relatively early in your career to have a champion, somebody who champions your ideas, or who says, "That woman, that guy has something to offer. "I'm gonna support this person." Is really, really key. Or how about finding a mentor, somebody who takes you under your wing and has maybe once a month lunch with you to let you in, in sort of how this organization runs? How about creating fans, people who just generally like you? I mentioned friends, a whole bunch of people that just want you to succeed. How about people being there for emotional support when things are tough? When you didn't get the job, or you didn't get the opportunity, or you were having a tough spot, the people that say to you, "You know what, "I know you can do this." That's what we need these relationships for. The key is not just about what we do for other people. The key is also how we make other people feel. This is great saying that a person's impact is determined, or a person's influence is determined by how they make other people feel. I think for me that moment sort of became really clear when my, we were at my father's funeral, and then people would come over that I had never met. And they said, "Well, your father, "just when I was out of college, "gave me my first job, "and I'll forever be grateful. "Your dad saw something in me, "and he brought me into this." And you realize they didn't talk about anything other than how my father made them feel. It's a skillset that you cannot over emphasize. It's important that when people around you, that they'd have that feeling that you really genuinely care about them. And it doesn't matter what type of personality you are, as long as they feel that you really, really, really, really, really mean that. So, do you think building relationships is a learnable skill? It is. What did the father say to the son? Go out and learn how to make some friends. It is a learnable skill. And who needs it? Everybody needs it. It doesn't mean that you have to have thousand and thousand thousands of people in your network, but it means that you should have enough people that can support your influence or your desire to have influence. And why you need it, we just covered that. It is because you want raving fans. A fan. A fan is somebody who believes in their team. It doesn't matter if the team always performs great. They are still a fan. And when the team falls, they're even more a fan than they were when the team was winning. And when the team wins, they buy all the stuff, and they tell everybody how great the team is, and they're promoting it on their social media, and they're telling everybody about it. And then when there's a shake up in the team, they're like right there with it. They're emotionally attached to it. That's a fan. So you want fans who need fans. You want fans who are, you know, interested in what you do. So, again, to go back to why do we need this is because you want to attract champions and mentors. We're going to build your network. We also want appreciation. Do you think the team is gonna feel good if their raving fans are all coming when they're playing and cheering them on? How do you think that feels? That feels pretty fabulous, right? How would you feel when you're in a meeting and you're making a presentation, you're pitching something and everybody says, "You go girl." or "You go woman."? So, that's a vital aspect of feeling good about yourself. And it shows that people have interest in seeing you succeed. How do you think that feels? How do you think it feels on the other side when you show to somebody else that you have genuine desire fore them to succeed? Same thing. And of course my big word in the woman's code is all about support. And support is, support is almost like the infinity sign, like it keeps going back and forth, and back forth, and back and forth, okay? So, now we're gonna go on page number four, and we talk about alliances. And again, I filled this out which I will be showing you in a moment. I'm just gonna take you through some of those. So how are you building your relationships? It's my question to you. So you wanna fill this out. So, you build your relationships through actually building an alliance with other people. And the word alliances, yeah, can mean you don't have to have the same exact purpose, but there has to be some sort of a benefit in that. So if you look, for example, these frequent flyer programs, those are alliances, right? So, they help each other out because together it makes them feel and appear bigger, and it has the benefit so that the customer who then goes to anyone of these airlines, in this alliances that the have formed, that they feel they have choices, many more choices than if it were was only one at a time. So an alliance is just a mutually beneficial agreement that you go into to form that you don't have to win all the way. There has to be just some sort of a benefit involved in that. Mutually beneficial agreements, I wrote down because I never call anything a contract. I always call them mutually beneficial agreements. Because if we can talk about it, then we may as well be putting it in writing, and if it's mutually beneficial, then everybody should have no problem signing it. Piece of cake. So, you see that the mindset that's going in is not just about what can I get out of it. It's about, "Hey, how do we need to talk about this "so that it's good for everybody, "that you can get something and I get something." Alliances and relationships build good will. It enlist emotional and physical support, and you're gonna make people feel really good. And I'm just gonna show this to everybody. I'm gonna hold it really still so you can read this properly. Thank you. Alright. Are you filling this out? Are you having some ideas? Yes, anybody wants to share? No, not yet. Kenna, how are we looking with the live audience? Are they following along? Are they writing and working along? Well, I wanted to give a shout out to Jennifer who says, "This is so resonating with me so much right now. "I actually had someone at my corporate office "thank me for taking such good care of my team members "this week during a problem that was going on." And she's actually taking questions right now from her coworker while she's watching us. Congratulations, wonderful. Thank you for sharing that. That's fantastic feedback. Yes, and sometimes it's something that's simple, but in order for you to be noticed and have the influence, then you're gonna support somebody in your team and then it's okay to ask the team members to spread the word. And say, "Make sure, "or it would be really helpful for me "if you can, in the next meeting, "just point out on how this helped you, "or how together as a team "we were able to resolve this together." Because I believe that other team members could find this inspiring or might be feeling that it's a good thing to collaborate with other people, that it's not time consuming, "Oh my gosh, she has another question," but to how we can always make this a beneficial thing. It's all about the way you talk about it. It's all the way you formulate it. That's all the key. Good. And then also on page number four, we have a little room left here in the notes for how you will make people feel special. Anybody have any ideas on how you could make people feel special? Go ahead, take the microphone please. Alright. So, when working with somebody or just you're having relationships, I think just recognizing them for something that they've done I think really helps people feel special. Absolutely. A nice little complement. Thank you. Anybody else? Any ideas? Go ahead. Thank you. In my own business, I think it's just been a lot of empathy and listening. So a lot of the times people come in and don't even know how much they have to say until they start saying it. They just need a listening here, and it's nice to make them feel special and listened to, or heard. So you're putting them at ease, and then they'll feel comfortable enough to open up and share. That's a wonderful skill to have. Thank you for sharing that.