Lessons

Lesson Info

Identify Your Hero Qualities

The first thing that we're going to do today because it is a day where we're going tio now I want to say that we're going to like play around in the juice of our vulnerability which is this growth nothing way of putting it but that's kind of what we're going to get to but we're going to start out doing something uh not in those dark corners we're going to start out thinking about the things were actually good at and so in your work but there is a page for this but your there's nothing special about the pages just like a blank page where you can write these things down so you can do this in a notebook but it's on exercise that I originally put in my bookmaking mighty ugly which is called hero qualities because I use that metaphor of like slaying demons and you know we're going to get in there and we're going to feel totally like crap when we do it so we're going to start out feeling like heroes and so this is a page where I'd like you to take a few minutes and write down what you're goo...

d at this is what we're going to start today we're going to think about what you're good at the's khun b things related to your business or not because something that I think over the course of the day we're going to realize is that these deep dark corners of our brains that how is things that keep us up at night about our business? They're not always just about our business there often about other kinds of things, so if you're a really great friend, write it down if you make the best to play on your block, write it down if you keep the better books than any of your artsy friends, write it down anything that you feel good at and then well time back in and we're going to just examine those a little bit more and that's going to be the foundation we're making for our day that's the page I want you to flip back to when you're feeling like you like you're going to fall apart any minute and that's okay too, but remember this please take a few minutes right down the things you're really good at and it can really be anything. And kim, I just want to remind people who might just be joining us that while these folks are doing these exercises at home for free, you can download this workbook as well when you are sleepy for the class so highly encourage you to do that while we're working again not only can you download this workbook for the class but also a supply it lists of all the things that you can use to make your ugly creatures which we're going to do in a bit thanks and remember, it doesn't have to be anything to do with business. You might put two together the best party night ensembles are you gonna be sharing as we go through these exercises? Some of what? Your qualities some of my hero qualities she sure something that let's get vulnerable. Well, no, this is this is not about vulnerabilities where so people are born arlo about about talking about the things that they're yes good actually that's true and I think that we are trained not to talk about things that were good at right it's bragging. Right. Okay, I will brag right now. Grill bragg. Thank you. This is something actually. Okay, I'll tell you a story. Just recently I was talking to a friend about speaking at like, public speaking and please keep writing, keep writing, I'll tell the story and we can let it filter inner share around after bottom we're talking about public speaking and public speaking is the thing that is, like, universally understood to be terrifying and dreadful and it is expected to be something that is nerve wracking and a lot of people throw up and it's that kind of thing and it is not something that I find remotely daunting andi I admitted it for the first time recently because I had lied about it forever because I was different and I didn't I feel like I was really grated it or anything I just wasn't nervous about it maybe because I've trained myself to be comfortable making full of myself and so I'm ok with that I know the world one end but like it's very rare for me to like have the quavering my voice and like the death grip on a podium or something because I'm like ok, you know what's the worst that can happen I'm clothed so that's not you know, like we're not gonna have some kind of horrible nightmare catastrophe and yet I realized as I admitted this to my friend that I wasn't nervous about public speaking that I I felt my eyes go wide on my knuckles get tense because I thought that that was it there then everybody that I was talking to is going to look at me and be like, what a jerk right like that's what she thinks she's better than everybody else because doesn't get nervous about this thing that makes other people vomit and nobody was like people are like yeah, yeah we get that that's that's cool we've we've seen that and you actually you don't seem nervous when you speak publicly cool and like that was the end of it and I was like, you know and so that that thing that I didn't get nervous about I was nervous about like I was nervous about talking about that in a context of not seeming like a total tool and yeah, what a classic thing that we project what we think other people are thinking about us all the time and that holds us back from saying things like what we're good at that's exactly right? And this is my friend like this wasn't even something like this is somebody that you know I trust is somebody who you know enjoys my company you know, way have a friendship, you know? And yet I was concerned that she was just gonna be like we cannot be friends anymore because you said this thing that was something she already knew right? Like it was no funding ridiculous and you're right it was exactly that turning the tables I decided that she would think something of me and that the people that are sort of standing with us would think something of me and I made decisions based on that it was dumb but then I felt like, ok, I did learn and it turns out like, I know most people are really nervous about that I get really nervous about other things but that's just not one of them you're all quality probably write that down public speaking all right, cool yeah, thank you um and then as you right and I know some of your finishing up take a look at what you wrote down and see if anything could be grouped together because they're kind of like each other like if I had written down for example pretty confident public speaker and also really good at b s ing papers in college but I totally was also good at I might decide that those two things are related to putting words together at the last minute thinking on my feet verbally communicating or something like that so look and see if there are things there if you wrote down that you make the best to play on the block and also you really enjoy learning how to make new cupcake toppings put them together on dsi if their connections in ways that you might not necessarily put together if you're really great at public speaking but you're also good at for example um jumping in at a deadline when something you know there's like a catastrophe coming you're like don't worry about it I can solve this problem on time and avert catastrophe that might also be related to quick thinking or confidence in an unusual situation or an otherwise daunting situation you can use the markers that are on your table if you've got some color called them but let yourself get some kind of an understanding of like these air areas in my life where I feel really competent and confident strong and I talked a little about mine would anyone like to talk a little bit about yours? Weaken break the kind of sharing sealed by talking about things, you know, we're good at bragging is most welcome. Being boastful is a good quality. What do you think, trina want let's call on somebody? Okay, I am good at marketing and finding clients uh, that's a good, good strength toe have in business marketing and finding clients, were you always or is that a skill that you worked on to develop? I think it comes naturally, and then my degrees and political science, which is basically you're learning to campaign for people, our cause, which is kind of samos campaigning yourself, right? Right. So you're good at presenting yourself in your product in a way that's appealing to other people that's awesome, it's a good place to start. Thank you. I think I'm good analysts have meeting at my personal style and making soup, and they all kind of go together because as like the heart of what I'm good at it, being willing to take the time to learn something because they're all things that took me a really long time to figure out. Yeah, it took me a really long time to get and he could be cooking, and I admit girder, stitch scarves for, like, five years before I tried anything else, but I just kind of kept with it and eventually got past but like awful phase, right? You two, you were persistent and deliberate and you develop the skills. So mike keenan, who feels like she was sort of started out with an inclination to be good at those things you worked at it and developed that your patient and you're in a long game sticking with it is hard for sticking with it is hard, but you did that's often. Well, I cook very well and I don't need a recipe, so I like that and I would like to see things that I doing my normal life, how can I bring that to my business? Because I'm so in securing my business, but in my life, my day to day life I'm so good at, so I'm trying to find out how do I get this confidence that I have in so many things to my business that I feel so and we'll keep in mind the confidence, then that's the that's, the part ok, that's, good to remember what it feels like in your kitchen. Yeah, I can do it yet. Awesome, yes, please, I'm good at coming up with creative ideas, especially in not just my business, but other people's good advice giver brain stormer and just I'm good at coming up with the ideas, but not always executing uh not always executing so it's it's almost even better for you to be giving the advice for someone else to do then for your own self in your business I understand that very very intimately that's good ok so maybe something that you'll keep in mind today over the course of the day is how to get better it what what is it that's getting between you you the idea you have your own business and then executing it so that I'm talking to strangers which I think is actually funny that you mentioned public speaking because when I was a kid I used to sing and once you saying in front of people it's really easy to talk it's a lot less scary to talk in front of people than saying but I think then I also did acting when I was younger and I think all of that kind of like comes together into my talking to strangers ability you are really good at talking to strangers I like gloria and I have met before as strangers on like we're like immediately chatting it is a skill that I noticed in you like it I like to talk to st e I have never seen carrie okey ever in my life I have a horrible thing about thinking horrible can I read out from the folks at home we have way have lady who says here equalities air drawing caring for others sewing singing, designing and listening so good for you for putting all those out there, lottie and then marry light says I'm good at empathetic listening, self empathy, empathy, coaching, nonviolent communication transmission, channeling animal communication, increasing peace and inspiring joy I want to come hang out with you the whole so thanks everybody for sharing in the chat room and just a reminder that a great way to share with each other while for those of you who are home while we're live is to click on the chat button that is right up there above the video there watching there's also an asked button and that is there for you to ask questions that are directly about the content that you want came to hear for online during the class. So with a four to communicating with you there, thank you anyone else want to talk about hero qualities because after this we're totally going to start talking about like, the negative stuff a lot of other people here, I'm good at making stuff, so cooking and designing and gardening I'm actually really good at sewing, so I thought it through that out there since that's here, but I don't like to, so um uh and then I'm also good at like family, so like I put being a wife, sister, daughter, good qualities have carly I like you pretty comfortable in front of a room and public speaking is not something that has ever caused me a lot of fear so one of my strengths is really connecting with people and, you know, starting up a conference talking with strangers and one of the strength I also noticed in here is is distinguishing, distinguishing really urgent and emergent situations and being able to handle them in a common, methodical manner I spent a decade and emergency services and it's something that is so ingrained in me now on dh so if you know distinguishing like is this an emergency? Is this not and what one of the pieces and you know the moment we have the pieces we know what we're doing yeah so you panic when the panic is required but not when it's not required right and and it's almost never yeah that's what you can look through that filter always a hierarchy of no, not so much that you are people dying now. Okay? Yeah yeah that's a great skill tohave that's a really great that's a good place to start from, I think for sure. Thanks. Yes, please. Okay, so it's interesting to hear something the commonalities here but I said connecting connecting with people as well being a peacemaker which is sort of a similar tio I'm a middle child so always kind of that peacemaker person smiling talking to strangers as well, listening, and I also really good at cooking without recipes, like you said, but I'm known for being ableto cook anything and put it in a tortilla. Oh, and he typically the tortilla, specifically the tortilla, make something in turkey that's. Very good. I feel like by osmosis. I want tio absorb all of these skills so that I can go home, and I feel confident in my kitchen and that my sewing machine, andan emergency, and we're like, good to go after that that's. Amazing. Well, thank you, thank you for sharing. Thanks for taking the time and writing those things down and you're marked that page.