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How to Tell Your Story

Now on page number thirty three um I want to, uh, share the storytelling formula another workbook exclusive. So if you look at these five elements of the story telling right um this is how you tell every story do you like it? I just started giggling. The third party villain was like third party villain is that their party villain in my story? Yes. So the storytelling portion about the third party villain is, you know, obviously is always a hero's journey, right? So the hero starts the year agos and then this, you know, some sort of controversy dragon, you know, slaying you, thorn bushes you know, all kinds of things that's got to be some sort of villain, the evil which and then they have to be a transformation. Then there is the happy outcome at the end. Um, so in the third party villain it's usually what we in internet marketing what we call it them so them is always something that we all can dislike usually easily in authority. Something that's been going on s o here, here, let me te...

ll you a story about that. So when I was going through my career aptitude test at school in germany because, you know everything is engineered, just occasion didn't know this and it's about getting you ready and prepared to go out so I'm like filling out these pages like sixteen pages off you know what you like what you just like that it up is that you like being outside sure like being outside do you mind carrying things? No, I'm fine I mean I'm healthy I'm strong I can you know, schlep things around that sounds really good I afraid of heights off course I'm not afraid of fights I love being outside so I'm filling all of this out, you know? And then at the end of it you do the results guess what I should have been so then there comes this moment so now I'm meeting with the career counsel I'm garlic this's not going so well for me clearly I did not want to be a roof not that there's anything wrong with roofers but you know, I didn't really envision myself being a rover, so now I'm going out and I'm sitting down with a counselor and the counselor says, well, what else would you like to be? I said I would like to be a jewelry designer and she goes, you know, there's so few applicants s so few positions and so many applicants for jewelry design what other thing, what you like to do? I said, well, how about a textile designing or somebody's going to all these great, wonderful fabrics and she goes on this so many applicants and such few positions, what else would you like to be? And I said, a photographer that's going to be really cool, and she goes so many applicants in such few positions, so I learned very early on that what they say, that system, that establishment is thie enemy for my creativity, right? So in my story, it's about, you know, how did I get over that hump off them telling me that I should be really a secretary? Because that was her conclusion says, well, how about a secretary that sounds like a great profession for you? I'm like a secretary. Does this look like a secretary? Not that there's, anything wrong with secretaries of personal assistants, anything like that? That just wasn't what I wanted, so the storytelling formula and hear it isthe let's, just go here on them focus gets so excited with the storytelling, I apologize, so I'm like jumping around here like crazy. So on page thirty three, thirty four, this is really outlined for you on how to tell the story, and when we are doing our work shopping will be doing some of that on page number thirty five. I have an example, which is from mirage, who we are going to be meeting in the lead generation day, and that is following the formula on how he sort of did his first draft for the story, which I think will be just helpful for you to kind of get an idea on how we how alito how we tell this story so now we are talking about my story so the unruly portion I think you've all figured out by now, so for me it was that I I would sit, then I would watch the plane slave and I wonder where they go, you know, I had the sense that I needed to be somewhere else, and so when my father and this is a part of the story that I don't often tell so the trigger for me leaving and on I'm a photo editor of elle magazine I'm twenty three years years old, making sixty grand a twenty three in germany being a photo editor that's pretty good and I go to my editor in chief and I say, well, so what's coming next and she says, honey, you're twenty three years old, how about we'll get you a couple years under your belt and some experience and then we'll talk about advancing. I'm like, but I'm already here. So what comes next? And so for me, this idea that somebody would tell me that at any given time I'd be hitting the wall and then I just have to say stay there that I can't move and that's sort of my nightmare is that there's no emotion in my life was an absolute nightmare for me and and I freaked out so at that time my father who was a ceo off a dairy company very very, very successful had sort of pushed a little bit too hard and got fired and they kind of just wanted to teach him a lesson on not being you know, so there again they didn't even have a replacement plan in place they never thought that he was actually that they had the majority to fire him from the board but everybody wanted to teach him a lesson so ultimately the cut the company that fight have never recovered from from this mistake that they made but they wanted to teach my dad a lesson and they did so my dad got fired so I'm sitting there for the first time and I'm going like I'm my father's daughter I'm probably a little bit of an over achiever um hey wait I laugh because I got a little bit of that yes, I think it's the german it's got to be right so it's always like pushing, pushing, pushing so I I watch what happens to my dad and I'm going like, uh I'm just like that what if other people look at me the same way? What if I'm a twenty three air againt I'm a photo editor of elle magazine for crying out loud people will do anything for me, but they're not doing this because they like me. They're doing this because they like the job that I am in because they want something from me, and then I had a come to jesus moment with myself, and I said that's, not what I want to be that's, not what I want to be, I want to be liked because of who I am, and then I'm like, I don't even like myself all that much, so I said, well, let's, let's do sort of this this journey to figure out what that is and who that person is, and the reason I'm telling you this is because I want you to realize and recognize that the ability within us to see our flaws and to flip them is entirely within ourselves. So I left in sick x weeks. I quit my job, my father said, you're doing what and he said, don't do anything until we've spoken, so he gets in the car a dress from norma book to munich, you know, we sitting like we're sitting like here and he says, what are you doing? You know, photo and adele magazine, people, people kill for jobs like that, and I told him my reason and we had a beer which is the sensible thing to do in a case like this and he said to me, you know, if I was you I would do the same thing so I wanted to do something that I've always been too afraid to do and I wanted to find the courage in myself to go and have an adventure I have not had a boring day since so it has been an adventure but because I ventured out and I did things that really we're pushing the envelope and I you know I'm cool is I'm like classic middle class german you know, I went to catholic all girls school what did I know that the world is full off right? I'm you know I'm grew up very protected here I am I'm in los angeles and I fall in love with us with this wonderful, charming man who only had two problems he was a pathological liar and an alcoholic um off which I only found out sort of once there was a little bit too late because, you know, I sort of wanted it to be perfect because here I am among the adventure of the american dream the girl from germany what could possibly go wrong life is just great step at a time and hear it isthe and it is in my face and I'm hitting the wall with one hundred eighty miles an hour pregnant and married and then it begins riots fires floods every time every time I get back up here it is another big hit all right fine here's the earthquake I just been laid off from my job after with the three month old baby because of the big recession so I'm just sort of having my first client he is the big earthquake there's already over right? Because who is going to fly and applying now to los angeles to produce while everything is in shambles? We can't even use the free race for crying out loud well it's a little bit of a bump in the road isn't it when your brand new production company about what six months in all right but you know I'm you know I'm working hard time, you know, doing what I need to be doing I certainly realized in that moment when you know when you're being shaken to the ground that life is too precious to waste it with anything that doesn't make you feel good so I'm like I'm divorcing now this is it. You know, I don't need to stay here any longer and I'm on my own with a small child and I'm fighting and then I get ahead and then the photographer that you know made two hundred fifty thousand dollars a year says, you know what? I think my business is off better without you, so I'm leaving and I said yeah, but our contract says that you need to pay me my commission for the next six months the photographer says well, let's see if you're going tio if you can invest twenty five thousand dollars to sue me for the twenty five I owe you and left charming here it is again all right, fine, fine I'm going to put it by me keep working you know, building up their production company the bad employee comes and you know, she's working with me for years and all of a sudden I'm going sums really off here and she got too close to one of the key photographers another guy who's making hundreds of thousands of dollars and it is not easy to make hundreds of thousands of dollars as a photographer but my guys did right and they go and they said like, well, she's not really working for us, you know we're really the ones I'm the great photographer and here is, you know, the great assistant who makes everything happened and so they decide that they were going to run my boy is this just without me? Next thing I know is invoices that aarp able to mia paid to them and I'm calling like what's going on why, you know what was it was the payment all what we heard that you are cheating and withholding money from them so the photographer had said to pay the invoice to use it but I build you how can you pay them well that's really between you and them so not just thiss relationship and I was out you know it also weren't the relationships with the clients because now the clients are mad at me for asking for what is rightfully mine here it is again so I'm fighting I'm fighting I'm fighting for my life and I am you know and I'm suing them well what else is a german to do I mean I got to be right at least once so so I sue them little did I know that the first twenty five thousand dollars in just to write the first letter little did I know that every letter that you write with an attorney cost you another ten grand and it drags out in a year in a year and you know how they said he was little checks in the mail that said union extra five thousand dollars are put in the bank then another letter comes is that you need an extra eight thousand I'm like sure let's put in the bank never mind the fourteen fifteen twenty percent interest on it I needed the money and I was you know in some like if I shovel this from here to there and you know going to do the no penalty no interest for six months transfer you know and that's how I managed to stay alive but I wasn't dead one hundred thirty five thousand dollars so here I am it's over right I mean how long can you how long can you push this dead in front of you so the the lawsuit settles and it's all done and said and paid and I ended up with zero zero the lawyers got their part my dad was paid off it zero so now I have this great idea with stock photography syndication and it's a great idea and I know it it's at the right time you know this interior living well stuff it's just about to take off all these you know six hundred thread count sheets are making it into a k mart and j c penney people really taking care of their they're at their homes and remember the innovators I was talking about guess who I went after the innovators and my my my ticket to the game wass that I went to the top guys who were all shooting on four by five film and I said I will digitize those which were the most expensive to digitize in the days and everybody else said we only allowing digital foot photography in submissions but I knew that if I wanted the number one a listers I had to do this I flew to new york I went to the photographers I grab the boxes myself and I dragged the four by five film from new york to los angeles and we had him digitized and the deal wass that I was going to charge him but not out of pocket, but it was against future earnings, so it was a no brainer that's how I got the a listers and the a listers what? I didn't think about it that time was that, of course, the a list of works with the a list of interior designer thie, a list architect who then work for all the a list celebrities. Next thing I know, it's francis ford coppola, teri hatcher it's that you know julian mohr, simon baker, all of us, I'm getting all these like celebrity stores and but I'm in dead again one hundred thirty five thousand dollars fly to germany and my dad has a car accident and we thought it was a stroke, but it wasn't stroke it was a pen carried a cancer, so within six weeks my best friend my biggest supporter, the most amazing man who thought every idea I've ever had was a brilliant idea dies in my arms. So here I am and I'm going like this can not be it and so here's the defining moment and so many of us have piece defining moments to my defining moment and go there with me so I'm I'm in this a little town in another bavaria, you know, my father's bird and it's this hill that overlooks the whole landscape. And I was just there a couple weeks ago and there's this baroque church and I you know, we we just buried my dad and it's my phone, my phone rings and I pick up the phone and it's my office in l a and it's always just been served to notice we have to move and I fell on my knees and I raised my fist against heaven god's spirit universe and I yelled at god for good two minutes and I said, if you have a plan this's a really good time to fill me in because it cannot be it just cannot be it cannot be that at the end of the day the joke will be on me. I didn't lie, I didn't steal, I paid attention, I made it about the people that has to be something in here that will turn this thing around. A couple of days later, I'm back in l a you know, I worked with a shelter, a charity, the good shepherd shelter and I talked tio, you know, to the executive director and she says to me, you know, says your dad's gonna be able to do more for you where he is at now than he was able to do for you when he was still alive and my father died a broken man you know I mean he made some after he got fired he made some bad decisions and he had a very hard life and I think he left because he just couldn't couldn't couldn't manage anymore and I come back and in the meantime I had written a letter to the president of the united states and the business plan so this's the dime the story changes on so I was writing a business plan in the morning and after I picked up my daughter from school and on saturdays and sundays and I was so desperate that I sent a letter to the president of the united states and I said dude, what the heck is going on here? I've done everything by the book I mean the immigrant the single mom I paid my bills I paid my taxes, I employed people and here I am I'm going to need help because if I don't get after all this disaster and drama because my production company went under in september eleventh because that was the second half million dollars I left I'm going to tell us to take take too long maybe I'll tell tell tell that part tomorrow but in the uh in another segment so next thing I know I get a get a call from a small business administration lawrence of flores never forget and I come in with my business plan my portfolio and I say here it isthe what do we do and he says I'm going to help you I think this is good so he says I'm going to put in what you're going to put it and I knew it was going to be okay three months later I got funding that was four hundred thirty five thousand dollars back by the s p a another three months later I was hitting break even and eighteen months after I was on my knees in germany I sold my company for millions off dollars to corpus to bill gates company so what's the story here for you it is is it just the classic rags to riches story that's by the way mike my first car so just you know let's just put it in relationship yeah and if you look at that photo on on the floor that is how I started so the story you know you see how the story sort of makes sense on why I do what I do because it was so hard it was so hard why is nobody talking about whole heart? It is single moms it's hard so where do you you know where do you take that energy as a ah woman up against this whole thing and it's like but what about me a question so many women never even asked themselves when the question never is asked in society what about you so how do you take that? And where do you where do you go to pull that out? Nobody likes my stuff I don't know what I'm going to do. What about me? So the story really is that you have to have that? Why? Because that why that moment that I was talking about, where you are on your knees and you say that joke is not on me? It just cannot be sometimes in you know, in an energetic principle, you have to make it about that fire inside that says the job will not be on me even though you don't know what it is going to be, but all you know the joke will not be on you, you will not go down in flames that has to be your motivator and that fire with him. So after I so if my company I worked for for for corvis, they brought me on as a director for a couple years and I left because ultimately I'm an entrepreneur and I retired, I said for like, a week day and then I went back out, so my my packed wass I said, if I am going to do this, I want a thank you note every single day, which is why I talk about it all the time because without that, it wouldn't be worth it to me to me, it is about hearing the stories ofthe transformation when I hear about the woman, the forty five year old fifty year old woman that for the first time in her life after twenty years of marriage now going through the divorce with, you know, two kids that are in college says, what about me and finds her way and writes me that thank you note and says, you know what? Thank you. Without that, I wouldn't have figured out what I'm passionate about, I'm moving to italy or, like, in this case, this is a note I got from a fellow, a colleague in the photography industry and we had a conversation about this and then he sends me this unbelievable. Thank you note. He says, you know what? We were just talking for half hour and he was very emotional about something that was going on his personal life and I said, you know what, michael? You just got to push through this you have things cannot define, you cannot let this defeat you I said, push it as hard as you can in that area and then let the other stuff unfold, but but stop limiting yourself to really experiencing it, so I sent it to me, so I get thank you notes all the time, and I put thank you notes on my wall and I even brought some of my thank you notes. So you can see, you know, here and the award for awesomeness goes to you. So is it narcissistic is itself serving? Of course it isthe. Is it my drug? Of course it isthe. So whatever that is for you. Make sure that within that heart work that you put in that you built that thing in, that keeps you that energy that keeps you going. Okay, you've got to promise me that stephan truly analytical perspective appealing to your german nature the thank you note is a huge validation of your power process. You know, it's it's independently of the emotional attachment. It's somebody saying what you do is valuable. So from a marketing perspective, it's like awesome, exactly so and that's why I'm bringing this up, it's? Because it's up to you to decide what it is for you. The reason I talk about it so much because I want to send me thank you notes and the ultimate indulgent is is this high? My name is you. Me and I'm the owner humid insults, which is a woman led tech company for startups and businesses. We connect the dots across teams, eliminate bottlenecks, improve our ally, and deliver successful market ready solutions. I have a chance to work with fiat take for v I p day and I was at a critical stage of my company's growth. We're done okay at the level I was at that time really needed help to expand my business further in terms of where I wanted to be, and I absolutely loved working with iata because off the bat I knew she was a great that she had a background that I thought had been to a lot of challenges that made me feel confident that she could speak on the same level with me as a business owner. During the day, I was thrilled that she was so prepared with everything that really walk me through, step by step to help me evaluate my business foundation and unique selling coffee position. It was really grounding to take my concept from a dizzy in just a day. The best thing I thought after leaving is just the confidence to express my goals, my business focus and have a new way of looking at how I wanted to take my business to the next level. I followed up with fiat's b I g recommendations. I incorporated those principles I learned in my business structure, and so I was super excited for the next follow up status called because in the inner room, after final practices, within three weeks, I closed my from sale he's, in the principles that we developed that day together. And I can say that the sales surpassed my original r a y investment would be on today by a huge, huge margin. And I'm so excited about the next steps and really watching this process involved. And I just can't thank her enough. So when your clients take the time to record a video, to send it to you, to make sure that, you know on how much they have put this together and taking this to the next level, that is, that is as powerful as it's going to be so let's. Talk about question and answers. So we have some of that coming up.