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The Wheel of Misfortune: Overspending

Lesson 8 from: Make More Money and Discover Your Worth

Sue Bryce, Tiffany Angeles

The Wheel of Misfortune: Overspending

Lesson 8 from: Make More Money and Discover Your Worth

Sue Bryce, Tiffany Angeles

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Lesson Info

8. The Wheel of Misfortune: Overspending

Lesson Info

The Wheel of Misfortune: Overspending

Overspending. Is the good one. Overspending at the end of the day. What we're really trying to do is cover up our feelings. We're really trying to push them down and not feel them. And the way we do that, is we get a dopamine hit, the feel good chemical in our brain, and we go buy something. Now, you actually have in your body, the processes to run an emotion for 90 seconds. And Jill Bolte Taylor wrote this book that I read that was fantastic. She's a neurosurgeon. And she had a brain aneurism, and it filled her brain with blood, and because she was a neurosurgeon, she could tell what was happening. Took her eight years and she got all of her brain back. One of the most important things she learned was about our need for feelings. And she says your body, the circuit, that your emotions run on, runs for 90 seconds. And after that 90 seconds, it's done. But we cannot hang on even for 90 seconds. I have a fight with my spouse. I cannot process the anger, so I get online and go shopping. I...

can't sit with the emotion for 90 seconds, and so we short circuit it. We push it down into our bodies, don't feel it, and when it comes back up, I'll go shopping again, and just push it right back down. We keep short circuiting it. Now, I hear some of you saying, "I'm angry for a lot longer than 90 seconds." (audience laughs) But it only takes 90 seconds for your body to process it, but every time you think about, you start 90 seconds again. This is why we can hang on to an emotion for years, because we keep triggering it. We keep thinking about what they did to us and how they acted, and I can't believe that. Then the cycle keeps running and running. But if we can be okay with processing it in the moment, then we don't have to go out and spend to get the dopamine hit. So how do we do this? We spend on the wrong things, first of all. We buy things we don't even want. But those things are our life energy, because our life energy was put into the job to make that money to go use it to spend it on what we should want, but we buy things we don't even want. And Dave Ramsey says we go to a job we don't even like to buy things we don't even want to impress people we don't even know. (audience laughs) So, we go shopping and we see this pair of black pants, even though you have four. You think, oh, it's on sale. I just need this black pant. If I just buy this. Like, I'm just gonna buy this. We don't think consciously, I got rejected last night, and so, this is gonna make me feel better. But really, we're using that dopamine hit to push down that feeling. Now, you may not be in the category of overspending, but if you are, you may be also overeating, over drinking, oversleeping. Over anything. Just don't let that run for 90 seconds in my body. Money burns a hole in your pocket. We spend it as fast as we can get it, because when I get money, I know it's another dopamine hit. I know it's going to make me feel good again. But we're spending our future, to cover up the pain of our past, even if that past is 20 years ago or 20 minutes ago, this happened to me and I'm going to spend to cover it up. And I'm willing to put that on a credit card. I'm willing to spend my future, to cover up the pain of my past. Buy now, buy later. That's what you're doing. I'm so willing to sacrifice my financial future because I'm so unwilling to deal with this emotion. And of course, we don't see it that way. We just see it as a cute pair of black pants. We don't go to the register and swipe our card or put your card in that stupid new chip thing that I never remember. (audience laughs) We're not thinking as we're doing it. Like, I'm really upset about this rejection that happened to me. We're just thinking, it's on sale and it's cute. Now, you know you have a problem with overspending, if you look at your closet or your garage or anywhere that you store your toys. Anywhere that you see every time that tried to make you feel better and within 24 hours that feeling was gone, so we had to go get it again. It's unfulfilling, ultimately. It just feels good in the moment. Trying to numb or distract yourself, which is everything that we just talked about. Shopping to avoid feeling that rejection. So this is why I could teach you to cut up your credit card. Certainly, I could tell you how to have the most amazing budget in the world. But it's a Band Aid, because even if I can make you willpower your way through and not buy another thing for the rest of the year, chances are, you're gonna go find another way to get that dopamine hit. Unless I encourage you to work on what the underlying issue is, then food or sleeping or anything else, drugs, alcohol, it doesn't matter. Until you work on the root issue, this is the long-term solution to your money. It is the only thing that's going to fix your money. I want you to have a budget. Go ahead. I want you to cut up your credit cards. I'm not saying that. But I'm saying it's only a Band Aid. It isn't a long-term solution.

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Ratings and Reviews

Barrie Fisher
 

OMG!!! You two are amazing!!! I am so grateful for all of your insight, and preparation that you have shared with us, wow!!! Lucky me, to have come across such an informative talk. You brought a human element to what it's like to be an artist. Sharing your ups and downs but always forging forward to be the best that you can be, because that's what your heart longs for, and what you were put on this plant to accomplish and share with the world. I've been a professional photographer for 30 years, and feel so fortunate for the life I've been given. No matter how long you've been doing photography, or been successful, these two wonderful women help to analyze the big picture, which is so insightful. Through their observations, hard work, determination and belief they have forged forward and are sharing their knowledge with us. I'm a spender and this came at the perfect time, as I'm taking time to observe my patterns. Thank you so much for this stellar talk!

Chris Alvino
 

This was one of the best entrepreneur courses I've ever taken, not just on Creative Live, but pretty much anywhere. This course doesn't deal with the nitty gritty technical details of entrepreneurship. It doesn't teach you how to build a business plan, create a marketing plan, or how to actual run your business for success. There are literally thousands of courses and coaches that teach this. What this course EXCELS at is teaching you the psychology of what it takes to get past your mental and emotional blockages around wealth, entrepreneurship, and life in general. I literally just finished the course and am watching it for a second time because it's so good and is exactly what I need right now to get over my own emotional and psychological roadblocks to wealth. The negative reviews are most likely from people who didn't understand this was going to be about the inner game needed to succeed in business. If you're lacking the emotional or psychological empowerment to succeed, if you keep procrastinating on those most important business endeavors, or if you have no idea what's going on inside but you're not as wealthy as you want to be, this is the course for you!

Alicia w/Beba Photography
 

This course came at exactly the time that I needed it! : ) I have been learning from a finance coach at my church that money isn't bad--it's the LOVE of money that's bad and the root of all evil. I've been learning over the last few months that money is a tool and can be used for good and this course just re-confirmed all of that. It's made me feel more confident and comfortable about the steps I've been recently taking to increase my pricing and makes me feel more comfortable with earning money, period. It is great for breaking down the false misconceptions you might have about money and is recommended for anyone struggling to price themselves, who doubt their worth or who just need (like I did) that extra step of confirmation that you're moving in the right direction. I loved this course so much I purchased it. Best $59 ever spent! (Seriously?! $59? I feel like I'm stealing at that price! I felt like, "How can I NOT purchase this investment towards my financial future?") Money well spent. The workbook is an added bonus too! :)

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