Lessons

Lesson Info

11:15 am - Who People Love to Buy From

Who do people love to buy from this is this is that these are my words this is statistically when they look at why people make purchasing decisions with the people they make it with what are they going with? What is the top consensus of feedback? It seems as basic as freaking grazie number one reason they buy from certain people is because then I come I like you I want to do business with you I like you, I trust you I feel like you have integrity and feel like you're not out to sea scam me or pull your agenda off I feel comfortable with you this is giant doremus if you are uncomfortable selling if you feel like this is an awkward experience, if you feel like you might be trying to take something as opposed to give the something this comes through and it's uncomfortable for you and for them we will do a lot to make ourselves comfortable. We will leave many situations simply because we're uncomfortable if we get an elevator and I'm going to forty four next to some guy and no one else in ...

the elevator nobody's talking and I'm a talker but I shouldn't really talk cause I don't know this guy by the time I leave that elevator I'm so uncomfortable I'm running out screaming, so how you doing? Good, I'm sorry it was weird question you ask elevator experiences are notorious for that weird. What do I do now? Do I talk to you? Do I face you? We're really going up this elevator right slowly, and people do different things when they're uncomfortable, they respond in different ways. We're gonna get to that next, but most of the reason you're uncomfortable is because there was complex person in the room that you have to sell, tio is you that is, unfortunately kind of a self absorbed position. Now, again, I'm a big fan of self. We talked a lot about that on work, life balance, the idea of getting rid of words like selfish and self focused and making it negative to be giving care to yourself, but that has got nothing to do with what I'm talking about here, which is self absorbed, that means very, very focused on how you were feeling about this situation versus considering how your client is feeling about this situation. Making someone comfortable goes exceedingly far distance when it comes to sales, and this idea of don't get weird, that is a generic catch all for how people can feel when they're hanging out with somebody and thinks in great, and they seem like a cool person everything's fine until that one thing happened, and then they got weird, so a perfect example of this is you have the shoot and you really got along and things were good and then you sit down you're trying to decide what to get and maybe something happens where the orders a little lower than the photographer thought or someone said we have to think about this or that and then suddenly it wasn't cool everything got weird and you were slammed with this recognition that they were trying to sell to you and when they didn't get what they wanted they got weird have you ever had that experience where someone just suddenly got cold because they didn't seem to be getting what they wanted? Have you had that experience if you could be someone that no matter what the situation is you're going to be fine you're going to keep it comfortable if you don't make the sale at that second you have opportunities later if you don't make it at that second and it suddenly becomes uncomfortable that's it that's ongoing you kind of killed that relationship and then this people who can simply simply super simple breakdown for me clarify a fit between the client's needs and desires and the product of service being sold so let's talk about each these in great great detail likability is gigantic do you show your clients who you are or are you simply a camera operator right are you somebody who is I am the person who could position this camera this way or that way or are you actually coming out from behind the camera and connecting with your clients? What do you think are every one of you connecting your clients or anyone of you camera operators? I really want to answer that actually stark a I think, a more of a camera operator, okay, it's a horrible to say, but it's true, um, I just I have a hard time and talked to you before about this actually just getting that connection with my clients and I'm self absorbed idea himself absorbed, um, because I'm worried that they're going to think I am weird, which have weird but it's the whole judgment thing, andi, I get just locked in my own brain, and so I'm just like I never yeah, so so when you say you never this, this means you don't know, I just kind of, like, comfortable, like, okay, they can't see me because I'm behind the camera and this, first of all, I really appreciate your honesty on that. I think a lot of people feel that way, it's a hard thing, tio to be able to articulate, I think, for a lot of people, most people aren't necessary aware that that's true, too, so when you're behind the camera and you're not connecting with the clients are you aware that you're missing out on a chance to build a relationship? Yeah no definitely absolutely I mean, I'm still giving them verbal feedback like you don't know you're doing good but it's not it's just very surface it's not going any deeper and really really connecting ok and do you feel like you'd like to know them better? Yeah, absolutely and the thing the stopper is it's just in my I'm like I'm going to say something I'm going to like try to connect find something I connect with them and it's not what they're like oh no no so your your fear is that it's going to become even more uncomfortable than it is absolutely I'd rather keep it moderately in comfort level that it gets unbelievably an improbable all right fair I think I connect well with my clients in person and I've been trying tio make my website reflect more of my personality ok from you know, when I first put up it was safe in generic yes, you know we're now I want it to be more me okay, so when you say that you you feel like when you're one on one with your clients, you do feel like you are comfortably likable and you're having a good exchange and there's a great connection happening but virtually there's that's still coming around it's getting better, okay? But yeah, yeah, ok so I shoot a newborn, so I don't really connect with the newborns per se I find that during the session I have to connect with the moms because that is their most precious cargo, and then I also shoot children, and for that, you definitely have to know you can't just put camera your face and expect a child to interact with you, so you definitely have to engage with them right families a little bit different because that's not my strong suit right now, so but families, but for families that's like a different why is that not your strong suit? Honestly generally theme the whole thing is crazy, honest ago, the producer, I keep crashing the fourth wall by keeping things too honest the for families, the dynamics of the parents are generally difficult to manage. The dads don't want to be there if you though she write, the dads don't like they don't have what you're seeking her. No, you never have that no way can actually talk about that too, and itself, right, like you. So then you have this grumpy dad. He was just a photo shopped on and get those over with, you know, and then you're trying to manage him because that energy feeds off under the kids, I just you have this gripping god, who, you know in his head is saying exactly what he's saying out loud, which is oh let's just get this over with that can't stand this, you know that yeah ok on his energy is feeding into his kids I'm not saying it's not exactly happening so that's why what is there any chance that you're coming in with the expectation that that's probably gonna happen and then he's reinforcing it by any behavior that he might have that's awkward and weird that's a great question I honestly don't feel like I go into that preconceived because not every shooters like that right there is if there's a grumpy person it's generally that who doesn't want to be there in that same guy is the guy in the sale session to write he's grumpy there to generally imams come by themselves, ok, but the guys there is maybe if if it's consistent personality because we're talking from israeli infecting him he's a little checked out and he doesn't want to be there is going to get this done and something the mom wants on this early correct ok, so let me ask you a question and this has to do with making sure you make changes up front that changed the whole rest of the experience is there an opportunity for you to see that actually occurring to say ok it's not my preconceived notion he's literally saying let's, get this done I want to get out of here like he said those words in that order do you ever stop and address that directly on the spot? I don't okay, I would feel uncomfortable I would feel like I'm calling him out that that's not my personally, I would feel uncomfortable I need to find a way to do that, right? Because I need to own it to make it comfortable for all you need to own it. Oh, that's out, yes. So back to the original question for when for comfort level like I'm not a camera operator for newborns and children, but for families you are I'm my camera operator. Ok, ok, good bye. Like serious props your honesty that's awesome. Ah, this is actually a skill I've had to learn for me, especially like they're doing headshots lessons you your frame is very your window is very small, so you're trying to extract, um, authentic expression out of these people and I've actually found that I enjoy the craft a lot more by getting to know them. So this is actually something intuitive and me that just organically kind of came about so I said a lot of time asking questions and, you know, we have conversations during our shoots on, but I think the other thing is I've been on the other side of the camera a lot too so I understand how uncomfortable it can be to have his big orb of glass pointed at you and just if you have anyone on the other side is reassuring them and making them feel it ease it's a little bit easier for ah to get the results that you're looking for so for me I don't necessarily have the challenge that you have but I'm also dealing with primarily adults um the scenarios are in my opinion a lot less challenging I shot a family yesterday and that amazingly challenging so for me this is the tail section we're going here yes I love getting to know my clients and I love every part of the experience about shooting with him so wonderful you know, I think that's the way that I handled it okay great um to be honest, it is actually my favorite part of the whole thing is the relationships I really I really, really like it and the thing is that I'm at such an advantage because I feel like my target market is me I am a mother of two I you know I'm busy on the go working and I just I really feel like I can hone in on how that woman or mother feels in that photo shoot because I love pictures and I all the reasons why you gave how why we by photography, I'm right there, so I really feel like I can hone in on that kind of personality, and so I do enjoy it fantastic weddings to I mean, I was a bride a long time ago, eleven years ago, but I knew what it was like to have that desire, tio to see the pictures and just love what I was looking at so good. Good, I would say I'm pretty good at connecting, especially with my children, the kids that I'm photographing, I've been around kids my whole entire life, so it's just second nature to me, teo, be silly and goofy and laying on the grass with them and just be very natural parent moms, because we're talking about the people you sell to write so similar to patricia, I feel like a lot of my target market is similar to me moms with young children, mostly and so moms I feel the connection with going back, tio what you are saying, dads are a little trickier. I've found that one thing that has helped me was during the consultation, the in person consultation, I just put it out there to the families, and I'm kind of looking at dad's usually when I'm saying it, but I just I let everyone know that it's this is not a time tio have high expectations and everyone should be on their best behavior kids they're going to be kids if we need to take a break because someone's having a meltdown or we need to have a say snack or we just need a two second you know like a tie now if you want and I just I just stress all of that that it's just about having fun it's not about putting the pressure on and having these high expectations for everyone to be perfect and acting you know, appropriately every minute of the day so so yeah a little and I feel like that has helped because it's it's explained what I'm expecting of it and hopefully it's helped take the pressure off of those off of the parents too have these high expectations for what's going on but it's you know, sometimes it works really well sometimes it's a little trickier yeah, well and you know, I think when you find these individual barriers like when I shoot you know when I'm when I'm dealing with dad's it's a little weird or or whatever if they're going to be part of the sales process it it requires and double the effort tio break through that wall earlier what you don't want to do is set a first impression that is maintained all the way through and then try to somehow fix it at the end first impressions are j gore mess I'll talk about that in just a little bit, but the biggest thing is that if you were trying to ensure that you're not being viewed as a commodity during the initial evaluation process, you sure as heck don't want to be a commodity when you're in the process because they're less likely to buy from you if you're just one more person that's administratively doing their job e mean, I'll give you a perfect example they have you ever had an experience where you go to a restaurant? Okay imagine you're going to to restaurants two nights in a row and you go to the first restaurant and the waiter comes over and so friendly and so nice and just seems honest and with it and having exchange, it actually betters your meal. The experience of this friendly energy betters your meal and maybe they come over and bring the wrong plate at some point they go, I am souls are let me fix that for you really quick comes back into the right one makes a couple miss steps in the process, but it's really fun, really friendly at the very end of the meal you were deciding what how to place your tip parallel this with the next day you're going to a restaurant and the waiter is technically perfect brings everything there doesn't really say much doesn't engage not really, you know, just kind of doing their job and getting it done maybe even possibly a tad bit self conscious but just getting everything done and at the very end of the meal they have they have performed their job excellently, but now you're looking at how to tip. Are you more likely to tip the person who may have made a couple mistakes but brought something emotionally and energetically to your experience or the person who did it technically perfect but was flat or maybe even took away a little bit from the experience because of how autumn atran ish they seemed. Which one are you more likely to tip higher if you had the tip higher one of the other the first yes, with anybody not absolutely because we tip it to people we give extra attention we buy from people that we like that make us feel good. That is the stress of daily living that bringing energy to us that lifts us, we like that. That is, that is authentic likability. I mean, I think it's really interesting when you think about that, what is the difference between being likable and being authentically likable? It's you the difference between being nice and polite and having a friendly demeanor or being really genuinely there and interested and actively participating with you and giving you something that you get to take away? Niceness runs out nicest runs out after a while that formal exchange of conversation gets kind of tired after a while getting to that next level and making it something that really sticks means just sloughing off all the social expectations until it really feels authentically likable. I had the's accommodation disasters as of late two weeks prior to this experience, we pulled up to the the beach in topsail island in north carolina to stay in our beach home for a week of beach for talk radio, beach photography, and then we have a vacation and I had in the car my three kids, all of our stuff for the week since we're vegetarian, we pack extra groceries, tohave there and make some really good meals and and a cooler full of stuff and my dog in the back, we called the place I had a time to say, we're coming into the trimmings all set thinks that for you as we're driving in, I called again just to say, hey, I think I'm going to get there a little bit after the realty office closes. How do we get our key for the rental house? All they'll be a lockbox, you should be all set, okay? We're all set in secure, we pull up to the house, they double booked it. The other family had moved in two hours ago we had to get the owners of the realty company to come out and said they're talking them for about thirty minutes and I'm not going to go into how unbelievably topsoil realty company so rude and just didn't care that they had their booking and they wanted to go just one of the cash but outside of that thie experience for me was that the exchange was one where I suddenly had new place to go was fourth of july week and I had a whole family and it was like seven thirty at night and everything was booked so I called my client who was going to photograph the next morning and I said, hey, I just wanna make sure we're all set where we're meeting and everything just double check everything yeah, yeah it's kind of funny we're not exactly sure where we're staying and I we're probably gonna head out to wilmington, which is about forty five fifty minute drive up see if we can grab a hotel for the night and this is this is ah woman her husband and their baby I had photographed their wedding her sister's wedding, her sister's family shoot her husband's brother's wedding to another family I've been working with his family in various ways for years and I really genuinely knew them and she immediately was like please stay with us I'm like, you know, I got three goods and a dog and you do not want us to stay with you and she was really, really, really dio when you guys to stay here, it'll be fun. It'll be nice. You need a break. Don't go away there. We've got extra room. We ended up staying there, having a lovely experience sharing a glass of wine, joking about you know how ridiculous that this was? None of my kids peed anywhere, nor did my dog, eh? So it was like a success. And I had that thought that night that, like this is why it matters that you build relationships that you can count on if this were likability that would have worn out at ten o'clock at night when you're beaten down and tired, and also stuff, if it's a genuine exchange, they already know who you are and there's, no artifice that you have to put forward. I don't know why we have this lodging issues, so this is kind of a weird question, right? Um, you know how to get people to like me? I have ah second shooter that has shot various weddings with our studio and she's, a good shooter, she's a really nice person, but she tends to show up in clothes that don't really reflect the quality of the wedding were shooting and after several times in a row where I kind of gave hits and you know kind said, well, maybe you want to you know, try this is us and obviously wasn't working I found that to sit down have the really awkward conversation of, like, girl, you need to work on your dough and so you sit down to start talking and I was fully expecting to have this awkward ish conversation, but we had to address it and I was expecting for the end result to be something we're okay at least told her she got it that was weird that we had to have that conversation, but now that problem is solved, that was my expectation, which ended up telling me was like, well, you know, I'm sorry tomorrow I understand we're coming from I understand that the clients knows their stuff, but this is who I am I'm really, really it matters to me to be authentic and real and I have to be myself and this is this is who I am and this is what I'm going to do and I said, ok, so you're not going so just to summarize and it struck me that when she was telling me this is who I am and this is what I do she was also saying that I am going to come first in every situation which is a funny take on the idea of being yourself, right? We're always saying that be yourself. You have to be true to you. You have to be honest, but at the same time you can't do it to the exclusion of anybody else's impression of you, especially if you're talking about sales. So the power of first impressions, how people perceive you when they first meet you is crazy. It's shocking, it's bizarre. We've always known that it was something like, you know, people make a decision about you in the first ten, fifteen minutes, that was always kind of roughly what they said for the longest time in malcolm gladwell's book blink, which is a fantastic book, he wrote that our first impressions of people are made within two seconds, two seconds. I haven't russia have impression I have an impression, like, literally in the blink of an eye, we have an idea of who the other person is and what is it based on? Well, what can you do that? That you could be aware that people have perceptions in two seconds that they're going to carry it and here's the thing it's, not like the first impression you have is the on ly impression you'll ever have for the rest of your life. It's not your first impressions can be altered over time they could be expanded they can shift and they can change but now what do you do when you're working against a belief you've already formed it's not that you can't do it it's just that it's more work right? That's that's a little nutty and many of these snap judgments are based off a lot of things first of all, our own beliefs are attitudes, our values, our education, our experiences they all come into play in this mythically crazy physical, unbelievably quantum creation of science those are my words that just like boom, I have decided who you are, so we're making his first oppressions in the blink of an eye and she's saying to me, look, this is who I am and this is how I'm going to present myself and I'm telling her this presentation is actually hurting the studio's image. What do you do in that situation? You you decide for yourself I'm either going to I acknowledge that I care what other people think because it helps them buy from me and I want to sell my work because I love what I d'oh you decide that and you put a little extra effort into changing how you're coming for us or you say, ok, let me at least acknowledge that I know I'm going to hurt the sale that helps me keep the business that lets me do the work I love by firmly and defiantly deciding that I am who I am and I'm in a dress I address address and that's it and I'm talking about dress right obviously it's not just dress it's showering itt's how you kind of you know initiate the conversation the first words you choose all of that how you kick off a session everything that you d'oh what you have to say with the giggle fittest you have to say the gulf it now you have to explain the giggle fit I'm sorry guys who have giggle fits the man laugh I said I was the the giggle fit was about the experience that I had with you in las vegas so it's exactly to that point like I've been waiting to meet you for close toe three years ish so I'm there and she was this great presentation and I'm exhausted andi I hadn't eaten and I'm like so excited and run down and whatnot I walk up and I've got this great like thing I want to stay there because she's been super kind that's a longer story when I walk about like hi I'm michael montalto and she's like oh my god I think that's it anyway long story short later on we had a redo of that but that's funny bringing that kind of money I'm sorry about the giggle fit that was what that is that is a complicated yeah this is in las vegas is fast year and we had written and you'd ask them questions and I answered and nobody can introduce himself I knew exactly who was I was like oh hi and actually what I saw was this you said your name and I said hi by then he physically walked away like turn tail and just walked away it was like five okay and then yeah, that was actually quite funny but then later nice high and everything okay, so uh yeah, the power first impressions if that's all I've ever known about you I would have thought he shares a fast exeter so by making by sitting there and saying I'm going to firmly not change anything about me because this is who I am even though I know it's having a direct result on my client bookings my client sales anything else you're making this odd association that how you present yourself is the whole of who you are and that is the wrong association because that's just a small part of the all of who you are if you could make this small little changes to be able to feed this greater need you have for most of who you are that is a wonderful concession to make and you see how that might make a difference my parents went to a wedding about two weeks ago and called me from the wedding to tell me that they couldn't believe with photographer swearing and they're like you didn't just like this, did you? And I'm like what? And she started and basically the photographer is eyes got like an incredible mag gear that's being loved, I think something like four cameras extra letting that's happening several bags attached to them and is wearing jeans that according to my mom, we're showing parts that we didn't want to see and like a shirt that was clearly quite old and ratty and all that sort of stuff, and if you just looked at the person you could say I could see how that could maybe be what you would think, but it made an impression on the guests like these are just the things to realize that you can't be so all about your art and all about your craft that you're ignoring how you come across so tomorrow what happened with the girl way don't work together anymore, which is a chain it was it was a firm decision and I've had several of those experiences I've had several experiences where sit down have a very real talk and I say, well, look here's another way to look at it and the person comes back and says sorry not not just the clothing aspects that I think and really make a huge difference some career if they try and they'll come back and say it's just not how I see it so I understand and it said with a defiant kind of dig in your heels way and everyone's going to make those choices for themselves but if you're saying this is my problem and I'm saying here's a great way to solve it and you say I have no interest in solving at that way but I'm gonna continue having this problem it's it's an interesting form of logic so I think the hard truth is that people don't collect information they don't gather data to be able to make one informed decision at the very end of their gathering data process people gathered data to justify the decision they made very quickly in the process when they first met you and first got an impression of who you are because people don't buy what you sell they by who you are realize that right away that first phone call that first blimps they have of your website the first time you come in to shoot or the first pre consultation conversation you have you're giving them an impression of who you are what you care about what you're planning to produce by the time you get to the very end and you're talking about what this sale is what they're going to buy they already have a really good idea of what they're going to buy in terms of they know what they've bought into. Now they just have to justify what they want to dio I knew I want to buy well portrait in this in an album and I know I want a public together and I like you and I like what the service you provide it and you didnt give to us what we wanted I gotta figure out how to make the dollars work or I have to figure out how to trick my I have the figure I have to justify the decision I've already made and getting somebody to the point where they can comfortably justified for himself is so much easier than trying to reverse a decision they made a long time ago do you see the crazy difference there that's the difference between starting early in the process and starting later realizing that they've already made some sort of decision they just want to figure out how to justify it in short I care how you come across to other people this is not to be confused with, you know changing who you are to fit a situation or fit that another person it's simply understanding that a little bit of compromise up front to incorporate a first impression that works for what your end goal is khun go a long way in terms of how people could perceive you in terms of how they buy from you in terms of how they tell other people that they should buy from you we're never just talking about the one person we're selling to we're always talking about the person you're selling to and all the other people that they're going to line up for you to sell to every person that comes in the door is representative of several people around them that are going to come into the door next if you handle this process well, when I hear people say I don't want to donate to an auction because I don't want to do a free shoot, I think oh, so you don't want to be introduced to a client that's going to interest issue to multiple other clients that you get to buy from them in a really positive way and they're going to all these other people to come by from you in a really positive way that's what you just told me when you said you don't want to do offer shoot like it's his nasty, terrible thing and I hear that a lot I don't want to give my time away don't give away a session well if you're doing this right from the early on that's not what happens listening you can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you this is a joel dh wisdom I think this was written in twelve thousand too isn't it? When this book came out, how do we had a make friends and influence people? I think it's two thousand two in an effort sometimes to be ourselves, we think that means often mistakenly I have to tell everyone around me who I am, what I believe, what I care about what I like if I hurry up and filling you in and all the things about me, then I'm being myself to you, and you'll know me that's that ends up, unfortunately becoming very me centric and very little use centric it's amazing how much people come back, and they do these studies on why people buy and one of the big reasons they buy is they feel like they had a conversation that was meaningful, and most of the conversation was simply that they were being listened to some of the best conversations we've ever had have been us talking. I think that it's good to offer a start to people in a conversation by saying here's a little bit about what I do and how I do it and let me tell you a little about the shooting, what you can expect and as you go through it, be very aware that this isn't a pitch you don't want a pre package documentation of conversation that you initiate the same way every time and it goes on and on and on because then you're just selling to them sales is not selling to people it's building a relationship building report and creating a product in partnership that someone is excited to buy into wow did anybody record that that was so good I didn't write that down then you said that was hard time please I know I can't wait that back my line I hope it came out as good as it send it in my head it was so good in there so asking about other people is a good start as you're going through and saying yeah we love to do this and we'll go here and you do have a changes and you have you really thought about what you're gonna wear now we're engaging right are engaging and asking you and then you see well I hadn't really gotten that far right now I just know I want to get family photographs you don't have to get there right now but one of my favorite things to do is actually go through what does look great and what might be a little bit tough and that could be really fun process if your husband wants to wear red checkered shirt that could be disastrous you know just going through the process in that way you start building a dialogue, you have a report, they understand that your interest in what they have to d'oh you know you have that you're going back and forth versus you want priceless. Okay, it's right there. Just let me know if you understand love you bye. You will never have to think of what to say next if you are actually listening thiss is the lazy person's guide to living this is the best trick I could probably ever give you for the rest of your life if you're paying ridiculous attention of what someone is saying all you have to wait to do and they get ton not that's just be waiting for him to talk to you conduct but all you have to do is on the very end of it say ok, tell me more about this I would love to hear that you did you say it was in an elevator? He did not do that elevator. What was he wearing? A red shirt projects we're going to talk more about active listening tomorrow morning actually that's our whole presentation and actually our new head of photography george baron atticus is going to be joining us for that segment, his whole background, his experience is in sales that he's come up through the ranks hard, charging it like he was the guy just call that no, no, he told me about a few times he crawled under his desk in fear of his first conversations. He's now heading the photography division. Eric creative life he's going to join us tomorrow morning and we're talking about active listening in some detail, and we're actually going to show you how he sells me something which is quite funny. We already filmed that tomorrow. Can I just say, I love how you just said he's, our new head of photography education? I did, didn't I did. So did you are creative? We have to build the tunnel between north carolina and no, no, get work on that, please, just let me know it should have wifi. Good idea. So recognize that much when people sit there and they kind of stumble into like, well, what do I say next all you have, tio, is wait to hear what they're saying and literally really listen, and you will have so much conversation for the rest of your life.