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During The Negotiation: Money Talk

number four. OK, we've done it. We're transitioning now into the money talk. Now what do we do? The last phase is money. So we already asked you to talk about money. Make you nervous. I really hope that this section is gonna help you feel like this is actually the most important part of a negotiation in a good way. Mental negotiating, Remember? Sometimes channeling if you're a nervous negotiators, a couple things you can do Just tricks that I have used in the past that help me. One imagine you're negotiating on behalf of a friend. So there's something about when we think about either an alternate part of ourselves or our best friend or someone we really want to fight for but actually helps us get out of these repeat brain patterns of imposter syndrome where I'm not worthy or it won't work. So imagine what your friend would say in the room if she were negotiating for you or if he were negotiating for you. It also helps with feelings of humility. So if you're feeling like I can't ask tha...

t much, I'm not worthy of that much for a friend. You would do it on their mental trick. Imagine negotiating as the smartest person you know. And lastly, imagine how your negotiation win will benefit everyone else. Sometimes it is hard to ask for our work because we feel like it's all for us. That is not true. You're providing tremendous value. So the other way that could help get you out of that anxieties. To think this is going to help this person in all of these ways. Like even before I walked out here, I was like, so nervous about getting through all the sides of meeting all of you for the first time. And I was like, This is to help people right? Like everyone walking out of this room will then be able to more confident we ask for what they need. That made me feel a lot calmer about. Okay, fine mess of a couple of slides or I make a weird cliche and mess it up. It will be okay, right? Because I know the end goal. The wind. The benefit is worth it. Let's go with science how to talk about money. So as we remember, confidence is contagious. There's also a huge nonverbal piece here. The nonverbal feedback loop is incredibly important. You signal to others how you feel about your rates with your nonverbal. That is because we give more weight to our body language. We give 12.5 times more weight. Two words. So researchers analyzed body language in 2000 videotaped settlement negotiations. They found that negotiation negotiators who did not cross their legs were more likely to accept a deal which, like the actual fact, I did not put this on here because I just had trouble believing it. The actual fact Waas not a single person with cross legs got a deal which sounded like a little bit much to me. But I get the idea here. The idea here is that when we have a closed body, we tend to be more close minded. We speak in shorter sentences that also signals to others. I am not sure I feel so confident about this. So open body signals open my everyone like shake it on. That's good. I like it. So here, a couple of very basic things. And again, if you want to go into this tribe power body language course here, my kind of basic ones open body language positive, nonverbal. Three specific things I wanted to keep in mind. One of the most positive, nonverbal things we can do is thes slow. Triple nod The It is a nonverbal way of saying I hear you. I'm listening. Please tell me more when someone is nodding along with your words. You also know Ah, we're in agreement Were on the yes ladder. Typically, not always people could be cold. Context does change things typically open body equals equals open mind. So always having my torso exposed my toes, my torso in my head aimed at the person I'm speaking with and being very careful not to, you'll notice I never teach like this almost very, very, really even have it in my hands. I would like to have it in my hand, but I know that is a way that I'm accidentally going into blocking. So make sure your computer, your coffee mug, lima negotiations. Even if I have my computer in front of me, I will typically slide it over to the side. So it's not in between me and the person I'm talking with. Um, open body also crossed legs and crossed arms which matters a little bit less if you're seated under a table. But it is something to consider and leaning in when we like someone we want to move closer to them, called proximate X space between people we like. A concept will be like Oh, really tell me more when we lean in towards it. So also looking for those leans is a great way to see if you're on the yes ladder opposite for hesitant body language blocking, leaning back and special note here, covering or touching the face. So there is a specific kind of blocking called I blocking, which is when people will Robert their eyes take off their glasses, rub their glasses, pinched the bridge of their nose when we do lie detection research. And we just did a huge lie detection study in our lab, we found that liar is typically engaged. I blocking because it's like they're trying to block out the guilt or the bad news or the fear. So any time that you are touching your face, you are signaling discomfort and time. Someone else touches bites her nails, touches the brick of their knows. You're also sensing a little bit discomfort about watching and spotting for those clues. So the universal gesture of shame is when someone touches the upper corner of their forehead. So whenever you watch those shows with a like reveal something or ah, prank comes out, you always see them go. Oh, it's a form of I blocking and you'll notice he will do it when they're asked a question that makes him a little embarrassed. The reason why I point this out to you is because it's very important to know when you've brought up the topic that makes someone a little embarrassed. Money can make people embarrassed, So if someone can't afford something, you see that shame. This is a perfect time to say, You know, we have, ah, installment plan and happy to do it. You know, I've noticed with a lot of other people. This part could make them a little bit nervous. But let me try toe. Let me try to soothe what you're feeling. Here's all the ways that we make this a better thing for you, right? Like I'm I'm immediately going into reassurance. So watch out for that shoulder that the shoulder forehead touch. That's the universal shame gesture. The moment you see fear, you want to pause, rewind and explain, right? Whatever you just said, whatever they just realized made them feel that flash of anxiety. If we were going that that interview, she was an interview with us, I would have gone back to that question and been like, You know, I don't talking about personal Passion is kind of a crazy thing. It's totally okay if you don't have any, or if you can't think of anything that might have given her permission to say, You know, I bought this camera, but I haven't used it And that could be the explanation for the fear. Next one. I ready. Is this face amuse, disgusted, upset or embarrassed? People think it's amused how you think it's discussed, How many thing It's upset. How did he gets embarrassed? Very good. Most of you got it right. It is discussed. The reason why this come up the negotiations is because discussed comes up when you ask someone a preference based question and they're not sure quite how to answer you so really important one to watch out for it. Specifically, the face we make when we smell something bad you can make it with me now if you want. Crinkle your nose up, flash your teeth Very good. It's like, uh, we also make it when we hear something we don't like. Right? If someone flashes discussed it, you or fear the moment you say your price, you know you have two options. Fear, reassurance, right explanation of what goes into that discussed. You have not finished showing all of your assets. You have not done enough interest matchmaking. So those facial expressions are really important to watch out. For the moment you mentioned cost or money. So reading nonverbal gives a huge edge in negotiations. Contempt again, that one sided mouth raise that smirk. Always watch out for that specifically, if you see contempt, you want to pause. So figure out. Where did that come from? What just happened? Where worth information? Rewind. Okay, you know what? Let's review some of those assets and shared interest. Let's do some more interest matchmaking, and lastly, let me explain more. I clearly haven't explained enough, right? So contempt is a really important one to spot. It's the big thing here is raise your expectations. We're talking about money students asked for who asked for an implausibly high salary. $100,000 from their last salary was 29,000. OK, those subjects got more money, on average, 35, compared to 32,000. That is a huge difference in salaries. I want you to raise your expectations a little bit. Okay, we always undervalue ourselves. So that's my one thing here is think about going a little bit higher and this is also called anchoring. So the more that you ask for, the more they set or see your value. Remember, your rates are a signal, a signal quality of work that you spend as chase. Jarvis likes to say. If your rates are industry average, you signal you do average work, they will get average treatment and you are only average. So we have to make sure we set the average higher. I believe it is time to ask for more. The question is, who gives the first number? Anyone thinking about that? How do you say your first price? Okay, biggest mistake. Never giving the first number or always giving the first number. There is no one harder, fast rule, in fact, that this more of it if this then that. So here's how it works. If you they should share their number first in specific circumstances, so you should try to ask them what their range or their budget is in three cases one, you have no idea what the caution be. If you are really like I I have no idea what some of gun charge this. I have no idea their budget is They should give you the range first when you think you might be undervaluing yourself. So if you have an inkling the undervalue yourself, but you just don't know how much. Do not give your number first and second, when you can give a range, you should give your number first. This is when you should give your number first if you know exactly what you want. If you know that you have a minimum like you're not going below that minimum, you want to make sure Don't give the minimum that you want to make sure that you're at least anchoring them to higher than that minimum. Otherwise, you're gonna be too far from the middle if you want to set the bar high. If you want to prime them as like, this is a really high value service. I know people who will actually say in one line when you get asked if their speaker there apply back. Yes, I'm already booked for the fall, and my rate is an extremely high number, and they give the high number. If you're interested, let me know. Interesting negotiation tactic. What they're saying is, I'm above average. I'm nowhere close anywhere else. Industry. If you want to take a risk and you have that kind of budget, I'm your person, your intention negotiating tactic before they give any kind of proof for anything. Lastly, you might want to give a number if you can't give a range meaning if you don't have a lot of wiggle room like, you know that like this is your service, it's publishing your website. You don't wanna go off that. You're better off saying like this is my number, right? Like there's really very little wiggle room here. What we can talk about other options for value, But this is my number, so it's kind of a if this, then that there's never one hard and fast rule. There shouldn't be right Every negotiation is different. This is kind of a guideline for you. It's also in the workbook in your workbook. I have money scripts for you. So if you are nervous talking about money, the last option for you, I'd rather you go through the first things. The last option is used my scripts. So I actually have written out exactly what I say when I give numbers both an email and in person, Sir. Welcome to ask that you also had a phrase arrange how to ask for them to give a range, how to ask for rates. I have a couple of scripts in there that you could just copy and use for you.