Lessons

Lesson Info

Succeeding With Your Goal(s)

Are you really ready to get going? Because now it's time to put the pedal to the metal we've talked about all of it you know what isthe stress how we frame it for ourselves? We've come up with so many ideas and now it's time to pick one just pick one little thing that you want to try to dio on we're going take that through a siri's of questions and make sure that it becomes something you can dio and that's the exciting part because we don't want to you know, say great now I understand stress wonderful, you know I want you to be ableto use that to be empowered to pick something to do that you really really want to dio and you're excited about now to do that is going to add up to more energy for you at the end of the day. So we said stress management is energy management what would energize you? Energize your heart, energize your mind, your body what's going really make you feel better so we're gonna pick one of those things and go for it today we just went through all over different rea...

sons we pick something and make a goal and we fail, so we're going to use that information to set ourselves up to not fail that's the point to set ourselves up to succeed, not the failures, bad failures just data failure, some of sometimes some of the best data we ever get, but we is explained to explore that data, we have to mind the data to take it into the things that are going to help us. So that's, what I want to work on in this next two sessions and hopefully that will be fun. So put on your research attitude and your your curiosity and the light playfulness of you know what? If I pick something and I really tried to go for it, and I and I felt really good about doing that, and I get to write cindy back in two weeks and say I am doing it, I'm really, really doing it, and in two months you write back and say, I do it all the time, it's a habit I've wired my brain until I have a habit and that's what this is about stuff, because lots of us have tons of intention, the things we intend to d'oh, we're overwhelmed with things we intend to dio, but we don't get the outcome we want, and the missing step is that plan, the missing step is having a strategy that really puts it into place, so it's time to call it out, I want you to think yourself, I will blank blank, blank, I will what what is that thing that's calling you what is that thing that's saying if I do this I'm excited to do it I'm gonna have more energy from doing it I'm going to be adding to my life and nourishing myself so what's your eye will erica conquer my procrastination? I will conquer mike procrastination okay? So that's a big that's a good yeah dialing down through that that's great and so but I think dialing it down what will be I will identify and do one thing each day that I've been putting off for that I c I could procrastinate on excellent excellent love that and how about you simon? I will write every day I will write every day perfect we're going to play with us okay? You ready to play because this really shouldn't feel like you know, ok on this thing I'm wax I want um I want to work on it so so the first question to ask yourself I will do this you knew I was going to ask this why do you want to do this? So if you're following in the workbook, we're going to be working from page four in the part three workbook on dh you don't need to write quite red yeah, because we're going to find that goal a little bit, but you could you could start to think in these terms and then we're going toe go through this specifically, so start with your why either of you why I'm really tired of wasting my energy on stupid things that I could handle that don't that don't have to be energy sucks I'm really tired of it. Okay could we play with that state and for a second I want to take back I went to reclaim my energy I love up make it a positive statement because remember we talked a little bit in the very beginning about stopping something is a lot harder for a brain to do then choosing new things in fact our brains kind of like novelty they have a hard time staying with it but they like novelty so now you say the statement coming up with a novel way of saying it what is it you really want? I will do something each day to stop my procrastination because because I want to be connected to me nice love it wow you when you took a huge leap there yeah, well, because when I am just so in my head about these little things that I procrastinated on I have no connection tio my awareness of what a feeling other than that into myself into the joy and all that so yes it's to feel that connection with yeah yeah I was on the simon so I'll write every day because I believe my purpose is to help in light and through beauty nice and when I do write I feel fulfilled and it gives me energy in itself nice nice and you get to share this with the people I love that right? But they even the process that one thing is I think a lot I'd always been focused on you know, the end result so I write this book and be a bestseller etcetera but but also just just the practice of writing is is fulfilling and um energizing okay excellent, excellent excellent. Anything coming in? Yes is interesting. I mrs saying I will work up a wake up early and I will work efficiently at work on rianna saying I will give up sugar all right, I have to say they will let's see if I'll do it with you let me think on that on our spirit is saying I will eat healthfully and the next question ask is why um so go ahead and start to write on the top of page for start to richard go what the same time you're asking yourself why you're doing it and I'm gonna ask you guys yet another question so we have a goal we have a why you're doing it why now? Are you ready? Why now? Because you could procrastinate about this if you'd like no one but what what what's made it more urgent now what's brought it up above the other goals um, a couple of things that's getting in the way of things doing things that I want to dio and I think that the past three days have really helped, um, re center me and really put the pieces together so that I have that foundation to be ready to do that. Nice. Okay, so you're feeling more empowered? Yeah, I'm definitely feeling, um, more empowered and less willing to put up with it. I think I had a certain railing ness at a certain willingness to put up with it or a willingness that that was just the way things were right. And so now I am more disgusted by it. I'm just ready to to be done with it. And isn't that the case? Sometimes we kind of know where in pain it's like we've got a little simmering infection somewhere, and when we bring our awareness to, you know, either way for it to take our attention because it becomes horrible or we bring our awareness to and say, you know what it's time to do something about that I feel ready to tackle that one now and that's the why now, part of this are you? Are you feeling like you're really ready in the world of coaching? There's, a trans theoretical model of change just thought I'd throw that in its asked these questions about how a person is if you're really ready to make a change and there's this initial stage called pre contemplation and in that stage we might be saying I can't do it I won't do it and those air sort of two different things I won't do it is I just refuse and I can't means even if I wanted to I don't I don't think I can then we get to contemplation which is you know I may I may do that and if I may do that I'm starting to play around with the ideas of diet what it would take to do that I may be researching a little bit I may be taking a course on creative life I may be doing those things that would put it into play then we get toe action you're going you're going you're going can't you get from contemplating it to into the actions that you start to make a plan? You go for it you make this plan and then you're doing it you're actually doing it well in the in this cycle of change you ramp up your motivation in your confidence along the way so we're gonna look at that but on what I'm hearing here are the words of readiness you're ready to change you're really ready to change definitely so what's your why now simon you guys were totally in the spotlight for this one reason is the reframing of it so I had focused on the writing a lot as a should I should write because you know, if I don't I'm not fulfilling my purpose and my bigger meaning and I'll never get into graduate school, etcetera, but but then it made it into this you know, huge kind of drudgery and now and that was your stress then that was a strike and perfectionism along with it if I don't write this amazing thing the next stroke then look for him on huffington post next exactly uh but now thinking about it as um you know, this is something just, you know, kind of play around like you're playing with play doh or whatever, right? That makes a little, um there's a lot less pressure on and I talked to a friend of mine and he had told me about a book it's for you dissertation writing when I was like fifteen minutes a day to your dissertation the same thing, right? You know, just fifteen just even again just like my cheek on practice, even if I just did a little bit that's anyone confined fifteen minutes for something I just love what you did you did what we've been talking about you just found your success doing the same thing with another item and you translated it to this one that's brilliant, absolutely brilliant I would also recommend julie cameron's thie artist way which is about writing and you write ten minutes a day and it's just building its building a habit of writing this is what this is about building a habit of writing and making yourself accountable to that it's it's the same process oddly as I said in the very beginning of all of this, none of this is rocket scientists it's the human it's science it's the human condition of how we operate best and it takes us rumbling around in all of this stuff and getting, you know, bogged down in the mud until we figure out oh yeah, this is how we work and this is how I work best I'm so I love that you brought up a place where you've already done it now you can apply that to go to the next one yeah, and, uh, two things that I would know is one gather is this kind of just like you say, you know, you're psyched today is like, it sounds like, okay, this would be fun to spend fifteen minutes so that you know, yeah, it is like the positive and then dough, I do hear this little voice in my mind like, no, you can't do that, you'll you know you'll you'll fail within a couple of weeks or so let's name that voice what are we gonna call that voice like the doubter the data are can't so give them voice and name preferably you know, on actual name you know that could well like doubter thomas and dr thomas okay, we'll tell thomas tell dt tell d t that you've got it here you know you appreciate dts input but you've got it you're gonna have fun okay? Yeah and and fine, thanks for speaking up but I've got it I'm gonna have fun you just you're not going to get rid of dt so you better make friends with him it's by the end of your life will be just your best friend what's coming in well after darcy really resonated what simon just said that it's a turning, turning something into what you think would be fun is that is a huge help in getting you there. Brianna was saying earlier that one of the reasons they want to do it now it's because their health can't wait she was she was the lady said that she wanted to know about showing conway and I'm sorry I lost your comment that reality just for a second but that's a really good reason to do it now isn't that a beautiful comment in general who said our health could wait for anything? Why do we put that on the back burner so often when what we've talked about for the last few sessions is how this all interacts and the fact that when your health is there you're going to be stronger in the face of stress I'm gonna come back to being a doctor for a minute your health, their health is the number one thing you have nobody regrets anything mohr than lack of health so what a beautiful way to look and say, you know, it's time for my health it's time to feel all of me healthy to feel whole, to feel strong, to feel empowered and to have control of that it feels good and feeling good feels good on out spirit is echoing that because they're saying they're going to eat healthy and the why is because I know it will branch it will branch out to improve my ability to grow in all other areas of my life bravo yeah it will so what you khun keep reframing that I'm going to nourish my life? I'm going to nourish my ability to write by eating well I'm going to nourish my ability to take photo graphs by eating well you are nourishing it you're nourishing the little man on top of the elephant you're nourishing your whole system because we are systems and every bit of it interacts that's great now melissa soo has already followed your technique and so the naming things reminds me that when I used to have a panic attack and I gave the anxiety and name so I allowed it to make space for it and then I treated as a child having a tantrum and I just spoke to it lovingly and calmly asai would to a charter and eventually the anxiety dipping in to dissipate that's beautiful really work? Um there is a book called taming your inner child, which is a lovely book for things like that and it talks about the fact that, um I know, I mean, I just miss said that it's taming your outer child, our inner child is that little bit of us that's very small and I want what I want when I want it now I'm hungry and I want you I want to eat and when we're way over, tired or inner child has a way of speaking up pretty darn well, your outer child is amore adolescent child that doesn't trust you to take care of the inner child and sets up all these things like anxiety attacks and it's fascinating how we have these sort of stuck adolescent behaviors that feed and they become habit once your brain has tried anxiety several times at the exact same way as if it had tried the same piano piece several times it learns it so learning new patterns I love what you did with that that is really lovely because if you deny it, you're denying part of yourself we're quilts of all these different things and we deny part of ourselves we're actually disconnected when we embrace it as part of the whole and say that it's part of me but it doesn't have to rule me that's a different outlook simon just kind of and so I can see is ah ha's they're cute well so you know, I mentioned dr thomas I I'd studied religion in college is one thing so I'm not christian but just thinking about the story of jesus in the new testament like you have all these kind of characters right there and it kind of imagining those you know, characters are like part of you you know and how like so there's the doubter part you know it is the part that's gonna try to betray you or sabotage on the part you know, that's going toe you know, you know not believe you can do it or who you are and so just kind of imagining okay, but each one you know jesus is that kind of archetype or something you know or if you are christian you know that you know, give each of those parts of you love or something for me that's like that was kind of and helpful wailing beautifully said there's a lot of work done in the coaching world and leadership were open using archetypes and recognizing that we have more than one going on at the same time and isn't all of this choosing a habit? Choosing to have less dress isn't all of that self leadership that well, leadership is about getting multiple people to work on a shared vision, but this is occurring between her ears. This shared vision needs to occur, so we need to get all these different people who were at the table up there and our crazy little heads tohave to share the same vision and welcoming down, doubting thomas to the table, and he can have his input as long as it supports the vision that you have that got into a little bit of psychology there, but I think it's really important, important stuff to not not be beating up on ourselves and saying this part of me is wrong. This part of me that's procrastinate is wrong, it's a beautiful part of you and it's, not the part that's serving you right now, so let's, let's shift. I love the word habit shifting because that doesn't feel is daunting as I'm cut. I'm gonna be a new person next week. Uh, not so you have a goal, write it down, and we're going to ask some questions about it because there's a lot of research done on what helps us make a go.