Lessons

Lesson Info

PEACE is our POWER

- [Sheri] Peace is that ability to tap into the strength, the weaknesses, the power, the uncertainties, the things that make me who I am, my DNA, the things my father gave me, my mother gave me, the thing that's in my lineage, my heritage, my culture. What makes me meet peace is the core that I pull from that when I strip all of the things away from it, it is the thing. That's the heartbeat of who I am. What does peace mean to you? And I'm not going to ask you this question to... I don't want you to express it out loud. Not for this, not right now because it's such a deep, personal thing. It's such a deep, personal thing. Because it really is the essence of who and what we are. It's what I've discovered, guys. Peace really is our power, but everybody pulls that power from different sources, different places, different spaces. For the kid from Alabama, his was through prayer. For someone else, it may be through meditation. For someone else, it may be just in conversation in the mirror w...

ith themself. So, for someone else, it may be calling on their ancestors. For someone else, it may just be quiet, just sitting in silence calming the thoughts. For someone, it may be just going to sleep, just going to sleep, rejuvenating. Whatever that is, but I want you to really think through. What is that? What is peace? Because some of my clients, when they first came to me, they thought peace would take their power away. Because for them, peace was kumbaya, right? Sitting in a room, rocking, right? It was taking them out of everything to put them back into something. No. So, when we look at this journey of peace, when we look at the journey of what we're on, what peace allows us to do is not lose our self in the process. Do you hear that? It allows us not to lose our self in the process. It allows us to understand that multitasking is really not that good. Science has even proven that, right? But so many of us think if I'm juggling a bunch of balls, if I'm doing this, I'm typing this, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, right? And all of this frantic energy just going out of us. Doing a hundred things instead of focusing on those important things. Peace is our power. When I first started this journey, a good friend of mine, I asked her to help me get the vision of what we were doing, what this whole thing was. Because when I first started this 17 years ago, people said I was crazy, that peace was like, "Sheri, that message is never going to resonate." Really. When I tell you, really, and I mean people in my inner circle. Focus on balance. That's what's it. But it's peace. But peace doesn't make people money. They're not going to want to hear about that, but peace really does put you in a position to be strengthened in whatever you do and if money is a part of that, yes, it does, right? So, 17 years ago this was like, "It makes no sense. Don't do it." Five years ago. So, in this journey, I talked to a friend of mine and she was just like, "You know what, Sheri, I think you need to find something else other than peace because peace really is impossible." She's like, "Peace is impossible because if you think about it, Sheri, now, when I..." She lives in New York and she's like, "When I get in a taxi, I used to get in there and it was quiet and it's where I centered myself on my way or whatever I was doing." She was like, "But now when you get in a taxi, they're running commercials, noise. Or if you're pumping your gas, the ad comes on, 'Hey, welcome, and get your gas. And go get your potato chips and get your Coke and...'" She was like, "There's no place where there's silence." Well, for her, peace was about quiet and silence. Peace is not the absence of turmoil. Peace is strength in the turmoil. And I explained to her that it's in the turmoil and it's in the quiet and it's in the life that we stay centered and calm, that it's always within us, and she was like, "Oh, okay. Well, that makes sense. Okay, keep it in there." Right? Some of the challenges that we have that comes against the idea of peace is, "Well, I don't have enough time. I'm already stretched too thin. Come on, who has time to really figure all this out?" Well, let me tell you guys, you're going to invest it one way or the other. You're either going to invest it continuing to do what you're doing and getting the same outcome you're getting. And as Dr. Phil says, "How's that working for you?" Right? We still have the emptiness. Or people say, "I don't have the money." "I don't have the money." "I don't have the money." There was a point in my life that I was so committed to this journey that I took money that really needed to go to take care of my family and put us...remember, I told you I was homeless, to put our family into position. But I took that money and I invested it in the growth of me getting here. The growth of who I am, the growth of this journey, the growth of this message, the growth of this book, the growth of what this really is to bring to the world. Because we're either going to invest the money, the time, or we're going to invest in mistakes. What we're going to invest the time, the thing that we say we don't have, you're going to use it one way or the other. And then, another thing that keeps us from accepting what peace really can be, "I already know that. I already know that. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got that. I already know how to do that." That's why I'm so proud of you, Mark. I've been on this weight loss journey as well with you for a while. A little bit longer than yours, hallelujah. And at one point, one of my clients was actually a fitness expert and she was going to work with me for free. And I kept telling her, "I already know. I know how to lose weight. Eat right, excercise. I got it, I got it." But I had a little health scare. The doctor told me that my blood pressure had gone up and the insulin levels had gone up. And she said, "Sheri, I keep telling you I'll help you," and I finally just said, "Give yourself permission to get help." I finally gave myself permission to get help. And literally in six weeks of working with her, inches fell off, weight fell off, but we did the same thing that I already knew with one addition, we did everything I knew and then we did what she knew. See, I knew what I knew, but I didn't know what she knew, right? So, yes, you may already know what you know, but it's okay to accept the help or understand that there's an investment that you may have to make in what you don't know. Benefit from that as well. So, with peace, peace is everything. Peace is our power. Peace is possible. Peace is the new success. Peace is the new success. I love what Peter Drucker says, "Follow effective action with quiet reflection because from the quiet reflection, we have even more effective action." My whole life was pretty much described just through anxiety. I had my first colonoscopy when I was 15 years old. Exactly. Exactly. Why does a 15-year-old have to be that stressed that they would need a colonoscopy? But, honestly, it literally was the truth of my life, anxiety, stress, stress. This is why peace is so important to me. Anxiety, stress, stress. And I realized that I needed those mindset reminders to help me to stay focused, and mine is I pursue peace on a positive mind and I live in the power of peace. I pursue peace with a positive mind and I live in the power of peace. And I challenge you guys, I challenge you online, I want you guys to come up what do you need to make sure that you have a constant reminder of how you stay focused and committed on this journey, again, to pursuing the peace? To pursuing that core. You can steal mine. It's okay. What do you need to give you that constant reminder? I think, Daniel, you referenced one earlier. I think you had referenced something that you were going to hold on to for you. For me, I have to have this constant reminder. I pursue peace in a positive mind and I live in the power of peace because it's so easy to get distracted. It's so easy to fall back into the old habits. Because, for me, I pursued achievement, I pursued career. I saw this research, it said, "We have 60 thoughts per day and 90% of them are repetitive." So, that means if we just replace 20% of our thoughts, with thoughts at sending around peace, oh my god. If we just use that one mantra, repetitive. It's a habit. This is a habit. So, when we get to that place of pursuing the peace, we can replace so many of these negative thoughts with the things that open us up and open up this new paradigm. - [Woman 1] It's just interesting because... - Can you stand up for us? Thank you. - It's just interesting because I keep thinking about MLK and why he was so different from the other people at that time. And part of it was that, from my understanding, is that he studied Jainism. Love, a deep-rooted love, like in Buddhism, that's really...or it was Hinduism, but a specific form that really, really focused on love and used it in his non-violent protests and it was so powerful. And when you talk about peace, how it can be very powerful, I feel like I keep thinking about these very powerful, non-violent protests and how it was rooted from love. So, just wanted to... - Yeah, no, that's perfect because his...I actually wrote an article, I did a blog on Martin Luther King Jr. and peace, and how external peace, which is what the Civil Rights Movement was about, and internal peace, both of them are going up against resistance. But here's what you just said that's so critical, his commitment to external peace came from his commitment to internal peace which shifted the paradigm of society. Peace. Peace shifted the paradigm of society, and not just American society. Global society, women's rights, so many rights have been birthed out of the idea of peace, the power of peace. So, thank you for bringing that. So, what peace is not, it's not a destination. It's not a result. It's not a payoff. It's none of these things. Peace is not those things. I've had so many people that I've met, that I've worked with, that I've been in communion with, and they've all said the same thing to me. In some way, shape, form, or fashion. And not that they've achieved everything at that very moment, but when we look at that definition of success, like Denise said, "Right where we are, not comparing, not adjusting to what we want to do next." When Mark talks about where he's been and what he's doing now. So many people have everything they desired at some point but peace. Nicole Kidman, when she won the Oscar, in that moment, the highest award you can get in her field, and she said that was the moment she realized how miserable her life was, how empty she was. And after that, she made a lot of life adjustments. Peace, guys, is a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle. It's a moment-by-moment decision. Laura, I want to check in and see what we have going on online. - [Laura] Yeah, we have some nice and interesting comments that are coming in. And Breza says, "The way I see it, we seem to be using the word 'happiness' where we mean peace. Happiness is fleeting, temporary, and can be bought, much like a toy. Peace is achieved, it's arrived at," and they say that they strive for peace, happiness is meaningless without it. So, I thought that was a nice reflection on what's being discussed here today. Karen had also been in touch and said, "This is such a profound affirmation for me. Thank you, Sheri, for your facilitation of this essential conversation. This is the way I live and how I have for decades in business and personally. It is something I have taught my own grown children, my clients, students, and colleagues. It takes courage and I've been tested now to live and model these beliefs that I value. I've had to say I know who I am with stuff and without stuff. I give everything in my business and in my relationships for peace." Or, sorry, she's given up everything in her business and relationships for peace. "Thank you for calling me out on not honoring my grief. My positivity sometimes betrays my pain," and finishes with, "Blessings to you all walking on this path together." - Thank you. So, I want to dive in. I want to get some of your key takeaways up to this point on the peace, the journey. Do you believe that it's possible? Do you believe it's a lifestyle? So, I want to have a little conversation around that. Who has the microphone? There we go. Perfect. Will you stand for us? - [Woman 2] Sure. I do believe it's possible. And coming here today, I was thinking about how the empty feeling that's been in my life needs to be replaced with daily peace. And so, to hear you say that this is a lifestyle, I thought of that as what success would be to me when you ask us to define success. It was finding peace in my daily life through my work, my play, my relationships, my love. - Oh, I love that. - So, thank you. - Thank you for sharing. Wonderful. We have not had a moment... Oh, we're going to cut. You got a moment. You got saved by the bell. There we go, Mark. Then we're going to come back. Yes, go ahead, Mark. - [Mark] I went into your advice. I love your title, and something you just said about Martin Luther King who, for me, was absolutely so inspiring. We've heard his speech, "I Have a Dream." There's another speech he did which, for me, changed my life. And I want your perspective on this because I think it can pull it all together which is, and I can't speak with the eloquence of Martin Luther King, but what he said is, "When we find that gift, we find what it is is our life purpose. But we choose not to live it because we're afraid that we'll be unpopular or we might be killed." In his case, he discovered when he was 38, we've stopped living, using his words, when you're 38. Even though you may live to be 98, it's so important to live that purpose. And, to me, it's all about purpose. And what I'm getting from you, it's all about also finding that inner peace. And I love that correlation between when we find that inner peace, we can achieve that outer peace as well. But it's so important to live with purpose, and that's really what you're saying is the exponential living. So, I guess if you've got a comment on that. - Yeah, wow, you hit it because you're right. I ran from this, what I'm doing now, for years. I ran for years because, as I shared about the cap that my one client had. Her uncle says, "You like to eat? You like to eat?" Well, mine was my grandmother, when I was much younger, probably seven or eight, I was always a very loquacious child, I was born to talk. And I had said something, nothing mean, but I was just a child who talked. And my grandmother said to me, "Oh, you talk too much." And she didn't mean it from a malicious standpoint, but in that moment, I said, "No one will ever say ever again that I talk too much." I remember this clear as I'm talking to you. And that was my truth, that became the ceiling for me, the wall. And so, when I began to get the tug, when I resigned from LaFace Records, I knew that I was moving to something like this, but that can't be it. That can't be it. And for at least 10 years, I'd literally denied myself my truth because I wouldn't tap into my peace. Because peace is going to release your truth. That's why we say, "I don't know." And so, I ran and ran and when I finally committed to the peace, it forced me into the clarity which gave me the courage to realize, "Girl, your grandmother said that to you. She didn't mean any harm. You can do this. This is your purpose. This is what you're called to do." But you're right. I ran from it. I ran from it for the longest, and it really is my purpose. And guess what I would've been? What did I tell you all not to be? Selfish. I was being selfish. I'll say this, I'm going to give it back to you. What finally broke me free is a person said to me, "If you were a cardiologist and someone had a heart attack right in front of you, would you stand over top of them and be, 'But I didn't get my medical degree from Harvard. What if they don't like the way I give them chest compressions? Do you really think that they're going to want me, of all doctors, to save their life?'" He was like, "No, Sheri, you would get down and save their life. You're being selfish, Sheri, because you have something in you that could set people free, that could save their life and you won't do it." And when they said it to me like that, I had to go figure out why I wouldn't do it. Because when you put it that way, it removes me from the issue. It's about that person. So, you're right. Peace releases that purpose. - And something else, and it maybe goes along with what you're saying. I think the most powerful things that we do in life, for me at least, was hearing people's stories. It gives me a sense of possibility. And that's what you're sharing with the world, is your story. But your story gives a sense of possibility. It inspires people. It gives them that reason for living, that reason to go out and change the world. - Change the world. - And it's really, really powerful. - Thank you. - And it gives permission. I love Ps. There's peace, there's power, there's just so many Ps in the world that are life-changing. - And during the break, a friend of mine text me and said, "Hey, Sheri, their stories are helping me." So, actually, you guys' stories are having just as much impact because she literally sent that text. So, thank you for sharing your story as well. - You're welcome. - Thank you. - It's all about possibility and living that possibility. - Yes. - Thank you. - Thank you. Someone else, I think, was... Oh, no. Yes, yes, yes. Tell me your name as you stand. - [Erica] My name is Erica, and... - I love your haircut, Erica. - Thank you very much. - Love it. - So, for me, when I think about success, it comes back around to feeling. And for me, ultimately, and it's something that continues to be, is that I want to be the fullest expression of myself, and yet, more on a day-to-day, I'm always externally trying to please other people. And as much of the journey that I have been on, and I know this, there's still I don't take the reminder every day to focus on myself. It's figuring out work, or the relationship, or the family, and having this to come back to realizing, I then end up setting up my own limits on what I'm successful at. This last year, as I shifted careers, I realized how much low-hanging fruit I kept grabbing just because I wanted to prove myself and get more experience. And then I've shifted now to say, "Well, that's not actually serving me." I have so much more to provide, but I still feel how I cap. I do know that I have a much bigger gift and what I can do and what my superpowers are, but I have a hard time really aiming big but I think it's also because I'm trying to aim big and not come back to my center and feel grounded in peace. - Thank you, Erica. Oh, that's good.