Lessons

Lesson Info

Broaden Your Definition of Success

- [Sheri] Broaden your definition of success. So many of us are locked because our definition of success is so narrow. Many of us, that definition of success, is only zeros and how many commas are between those zeros in our bank account. Or, it's narrowed down to a certain title. If I can only reach this title. For some of us, it's narrowed to just a relationship. If I could just get married, or if I can just have children or if I can…and it's so narrow. Remember I shared with you guys that I wouldn't even consider myself successful. I had two kids in school, healthy children, I was married, I had a business, I had…my parents were alive and healthy, my in-laws were alive and healthy, I was in my right mind, right? You hear it's going to…I could go on and on. But none of that was success for me. If we could broaden our definition of success. So, now, my definition of success is broad enough to include being married for 13 years, that's success. It's broad enough to include watching Blue...

Bloods on Friday night with my mom because that's what she loves to do. That's success. I don't look at that anymore as an obligation. I don't look at it anymore as, I could be responding to email instead of sitting here watching the show. I don't look at going to my lacrosse, my daughter's lacrosse games anymore as an obligation or, "Oh my God what I'm I going to do after we finish because I've got to go out here." No. That is success. Guys, getting eight hours of sleep a night is success, right? Right? Whoever said I'm going to sleep when I die is a fool. And I said it before I came to this revelation. I used to think…I used to believe that sleep was for suckers. I used to think that it was a waste of time to sleep because of what I could be doing. Even our computers have to reboot. Why would we not think we have to? So, for me, getting eight hours of sleep, consistently, that amount to me as success. When we broaden our definition of success. It allows us to stop robbing ourselves of all these things we've talked about today, the peace, the clarity, the joy. It allows us to understand that there is a fullness in all that we experience. How many things are you doing in your life that you're negating them because you haven't allowed them to fit in this narrow definition of success when, remember, none of us in here had even defined success, right? But as much as we hadn't defined it, we did have these unrealistic ideas that we were pushing our lives into a box that said we weren't successful. When we really broaden our definition of success…This is my picture. What is your picture? What is your picture? What are the things in your life that you have 100% negated as success or you didn't even think about them as success, and at some point in your life, they were a dream for you, they were a thought for you, they were something the you targeted, they were something that you wanted, they were something that you believed if you worked for you could get. But now that it's here, you don't even acknowledge it as success. So, I want you guys to share. I will broaden my definition of success by... How are we going to broaden our definition of success? What are some of the things that we're going to include and we're going to expand our definition of success? I'm going to come to you my friend because we have a very similar journey. Will you grab that mic and share? How are you going to broaden your definition of success? - [Woman 1] So to bring it full circle, when we started, I had mentioned that I had made career changes to be able to have that time with my children. So, I will broaden my definition of success by appreciating sitting at softball and being more present in the time that I created and really appreciating those times that I have. My daughter has a performance tomorrow morning, and she will be singing a solo in that performance, and so I need to figure out how to record it for my husband and be in the moment. So, just being able to be grateful for those small moments that you didn't think to include in success previously. - That's good. That's good. Let's have another one. How are we going to broaden our definition of success? Juliana. I wanted to…would love to hear how are you broadening your definition of success? - [Juliana] I think for me it's going to be more about my relationships. So this past year has been a lot about career building, my business, and now it's about the relationships in my life and really cultivating that because at the end of the day, it comes down to relationships I think. - It's the second principle. Healthy living is more than just a diet which is about those relationships. You want to Daniel while you have the mic? - [Daniel] Absolutely. - Can you stand for us, please? - So, one thing that was going through my mind when you were talking about it was that on the weekends. My girlfriend and I, we're doing a lot of things during the week. We don't have too much time during the day to connect of course but we always tell ourselves that we're going to go for a walk on the weekends, and then when we go to the walk in one of the nice neighborhoods out here, we always feels great just to get that time to ourselves just to walk. Everyone thought about this success but that is a success for a week if we have time to do that and are able to spend that quality time together. And it's something that lifts us both up. - I love it, yes. Definition of success. Dennise. You're like, "'Please don't call on me, please." You know that's a dead giveaway, right? How are you broadening your definition of success? - [Dennise] I am broadening my definition of success by being more open, and also just accepting the distractions for what they are and changing the dialog and doing the paradigm shift. And so, yeah. It's not defined right now because I'm sitting here thinking about how I will do it, but I know that there's a big shift that's necessary and I really appreciate this class because I have a lot of work to do. So thank you so much. - Thank you. A lot of opportunities to maximize, yes. Anyone else want to share right here? Yes. Yes, Rachel. - [Rachel] I've been working on this a lot since you mentioned it because I've never defined what success meant for me like ever. I thought it meant making money and the other things that other people said that it was. It doesn't need to be that for me and I'm super excited about my list. It's kind of long but it's really simple stuff that I don't have in my life that…or, some stuff I don't have because it seemed too basic and yet it's so important. Loving myself, that needs to be on my list. That...and I don't know that I really have that sometimes. My relationship with God and having control of my schedule, that can be success for me. And so some of the stuff is, mostly it's really simple stuff but I haven't put it at the front, I haven't made it a priority, so I am super excited about that. - And I love you kept saying the word simple. I say that all the time. Do it with a kiss. Keep it simple stupid, right? Because so much of what we do, and so many ways we get stuck is because we think it's this big grandiose answer or this big grandiose thing that we…And it really is those simple basic things that we overlook that are the most critical and most important. So thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you. Yes. Yes, please share. - [Woman 2] I'm kind of broadened my definition of success by accepting my new norm and allowing myself to choose what to participate in instead of always being busy and active with all of the choices that I have so that I can really focus on the things that are important. - Oh, that's good. - Yeah. Thank you. - That's good. Thank you. - This has been great for me too. - That's good. Paradigm shift. Can we applaud the…Yes. Yes, yes. That's good. That's good. So I want…anyone else want to share before we go pass? Yes. Always catch me if I'm moving. - [Woman 3] For me, what really has struck a chord was being present because sometimes when you're really mire down in the details, just realizing that your brain is thinking, "I should be doing this or I should be doing that, I am not where I am supposed to be." And really your story of the lacrosse game with your daughter really resonated because it just…you know, because I'm sure you're like, "I'm paying attention, I'm engaged." And so it was really humbling to look at that and say being present is a powerful tool and seeing that as if that's…I'm saying this with my air quotes, "The only success that you have that's an amazing success in and of itself." - Yes. Oh, thank you. Thank you. So, I want to go back to this. My definition of peace is…you say power. Yes, my definition of peace is, from where we started, and from where we are now, would anyone like to share how they've evolved in their definition of peace? What they thought it was when they came in, as it related to them? Not like world peace, right? We know that. But your inner peace, and how that's evolved. I'd love to have someone share on that. Anyone want to share? After this whole class about peace? I've got to have at least one person share how it has evolved for them. And, again, I'm not above volunteering. - [Woman 4] We've got somebody online. - Oh, that would be perfect. Yes. - And he said peace to me, is accepting what is today with no judgment, loving myself and others exactly as they choose to be. Peace is quiet mind and where kind of internal monsters live harmoniously without damaging one another. - Oh. Wow. Okay that's good. Yes. More? - [Man] It's a hard one to top. There's… Again, I wanted to kind of relate it to everything you're saying and seeing how it does make a full circle that, it's that centeredness. It's that…the definition of peace now, I guess it's broadened and it's our confidence. When you have peace, you have confidence, you have that centeredness, you have that power within and that's so much more powerful than…as opposed to being driven in doing something which, to me, is kind of the antithesis of peace. - Thank you. Yes. Mind grabbing the mic? - [Woman 5] It's loving my craziness, and not just the part I want. Not just my light but my shadows. And so I think that is something I'm constantly working on to accept my whole self. And so…so, yeah. That's my definition of peace. - That's good. As we said, accept the shadows. That is…so I learn so much from you guys. Like, that is a good one because that's what we usually fear and we try to run from and then we try to hide them from everybody. I don't like it, you know? But yeah, because that is allowing you to show up in your whole self because they're there. They're not going anywhere and they're going to go everywhere you go, and they're a part of who you are. And it's kind of when I shared…I think that someone shared about when I was very transparent with one of my stories. That is one of my shadows. It's one of those things but it was integral part of my journey and so I own it. So that is, that's good. I've got as many takeaways from you guys as I hope I've been able to give to you. So as we talk about our definition of peace, one of the things we talked on earlier was vision and what I think is critical is we really look at what do we do moving forward, right? We've talked about peace, we've talked about the how, we've talked about exponential living as a lifestyle of pursuing peace, choosing clarity and living courageously. Personal development fuels our professional growth, right? We've talked about how having more courage than we have fear. How we live in our power, how we truly walk in these principles of exponential living. But what I know for sure is that once we walk out of those doors, life is out there waiting for us, right? Life is out there waiting for us. The car, the kids, that you got to go to work. Whatever it is, life is out there waiting for us.