Lessons

Lesson Info

Creating Real-Life Social Circles

So I'm excited to tell you about the next thought that I have and this is what I really do want you guys to chat with me and open up a little bit create a really life social circle okay, so you're all alone in alaska right? Nobody else is there that you know of it does project life that you know of it does project life you've got to teach some people you know that you know that this is now your responsibility to enlighten others on how they can document their life in their memories creating a really life social circle in terms of the hobby that we all share and this interest that is common between us is such a beautiful experience for a lot of people it's also really cool online we already talked about that but to actually connect with people and real life I'm going to go back to this party that candace strain on through in texas got some girls together there's only handful they often around the kitchen table and they bond they bond over this kind of thing because there are shared valu...

es give you another example q group of girls right cute all right, let me read this letter to you it comments from quincy washington and this is what the email said with the picture that accompany dear becky my best girlfriends from college have been scrapbooking together for several years now excuse me for the past nine years we've been going on an annual scrap retreat that we've turned scrap of fallujah very cute a few of us started the digital version a project like four years ago and over time we have all converted to the paper version of project life this year was the first year where everyone worked on project life albums because of your genius idea we had the most relaxing enjoyable scrabble appaloosa to date my love for these girls and their friendship is beyond measure thank you for creating a product that enriches those friendships fondly heather I'm so grateful that heather share that because I relate to that and heather's email is so typical of what we hear over and over it's not just about getting together with like minded people it's not just that shared love of memories and we love our families and we have this hobby and we're getting together but what I appreciate heather sharing on behalf of her group of friends is that they're now happy now having an even more enjoyable and productive time because nobody's obsessing over how to lay things out and what products were using everyone's just you know slipped and stuff in pockets I've been in their cars being in their photos if they're doing their batch processing they're going to leave the journaling for later when they get home but while they're all together there gabbing they're talking they're connecting there really connecting because they're not distracted by all the artistic and creative stumbling blocks that can happen in scrap booking and so it's really need to see that they're connecting over that texas says that they'd really be interested to see how many meet up groups show up after watching this class. Absolutely, I would love to hear about it if there are people who are you know, they decide that somehow they're going to find a way to connect with people in their community, they're going to find a way to get with those who are geographically close with them. I want to send your pictures, I want you to send it in because I would love to share that with our readers and share back with you and show you kind of what's happening. So thanks for bringing that up. If you do do that, I'll go ahead, throw an email address out to you. You can send that to project life at brock at becky higgins dot com I'm trying that again project life at becky hagen's dot com would be the email address so yeah, definitely share with us your group activities. I have my own real life group activity that I've done recently, but before I go into that, do any of you here in the audience and anyone watching online who might be able to chime in have real life experience with people physically geographically in your area or you might travel and meet and go places whether you've organized or somebody else dead that you want to share with us yeah please I don't have a group of friends I think they've been doing it for a lot longer I got kind of, you know grandfather damn guys, but we rent a beach house every january february march just here in bodega bay up north of here and for four days just scrapbook and gabby and I thought that teo, I thought I used to mitt miss the paper and the scissors and the glue I thought that's what I missed it's the actual getting together with people that I missed when I first moved to california had no family around and I got invited by a friend to come to a crop night I had no idea what she was talking about sure I'll come to a close tonight, that word crop that that happened, it changed my life and it wasn't because of the paper and the weather it was hey, you know, friday night we're going and that was my family I mean a group that I became a part of and I'm realizing that's what I'm missing it's not the paper and it's not this is there it's getting together and being with people that social aspect so and pardoned and not everybody needs that. I get that, and I don't think that everybody would think that this is a phenomenal idea. I think it's people like you and me, those who value girlfriends who value friendships, who really kind of need that tangible experience of connecting with other like minded people because of whatever it is that we're connecting over and apparently in your situation, it really was like a turning point. Like you said, you moved to a place he didn't have family and friends, and you instantly had a handful of friends who I'm sure you're probably still in touch with very, very closely that's so neat, and you bonded over scrum. Anyone else want to show their experience? Or is there anything else coming from the internet on really life? Different different things they become involved in? Not necessarily scrambling, but it's, you know, book clubs became very popular you years ago, it's a great way of reconnecting people. I think I love her, and I called crop circles there's a lot of beach house envy going on here. Actually, dt puffy says, oh, that beach house idea and getting together to scrap sounds heavenly and creative butterfly thinks so, too, they said they want to go to a beach house, don't figure out denise, you've got a new neighbor yeah, exactly moving it's wonderful. I love hearing experiences about that. Um I don't just talk the talk I really dio I really do have my own experience with real life friends I have connected with over over this hobby excuse me when my husband and I lived in cleveland, ohio, for four years, we were there for his residency training on dh like post medical school, you do residency and then you're into your career like for real no longer and training, and so we knew it was temporary and we knew that we were there for just a little while and so we were there for that, and we met a lot of people in that area, and many of them were there for dental school or law school or whatever. Well, several friends I've been remember back to the history that I shared in my own personal story. I've been working this whole time I was already in the in the scott booking industry and kind of doing my thing, and we went there pre having kids. Actually, I was pregnant with our first and we went there and and there I don't remember who specifically it was or how it happened, but I relate to your experience because we had no family, we had no friends and I was expecting our first baby guys and they invited me just something. I don't even know what it was. They invited me to something and somebody else showed up with cookies. And then they threw me a baby shower. They don't know me. They didn't know me. They didn't know who I was. I didn't know if I was like crazy lady or I was crazy lady. And yet they opened up their hearts to say new girl in town, she's having a baby and we're throwing your shower well, guess what happened with that group of friends? We we are still very, very close, and we have a very, very connected over the years. And a lot of our bonding came not only from the earliest days, but because we got together. We found like mindedness and our scrapbooking and in her hobby. And we spent so many hours in the attic of my house because I have all the supplies at my house in the attic, because that's where my office space wise and we scrap booked and we laughed and we joked around and we talked. We didn't bash on her husband's we didn't not about our kids. We celebrated our families. We celebrated the fact that we loved our families, we fed off each other. We exchanged beauty tips these air the girls who did the white not to wear makeover and my closet they talk about sisterhood, we keep bringing up that word and this was my sisterhood this was my connection and I attribute so much to the fact that we were spending time not just, you know, hitting the bars we were at home in a nice clean environment having good clean fun doing scrapbooking, preserving our memories actually doing something with our pictures we bonded over that so this wass many years ago I think we're coming up on ten years ago when we first met and we just got together again because we do every year, every year we find a way to get together and we can you imagine scrapbook so we got together and we all came we flew in from we all came from like three different states and we you know, some some of us are digital, you can see tina on the laptop there. Sara is on her iphones going through, looking through a picture carolyn's playing with her pictures. I did the self timer and I clicked the you know, I had five seconds to put it on the self timer and then iran to go get in the shot, so because I'm always not in the shot and so I'm kind of working in the back with the sweatshirt that's me next to me is bree and this treasure jen, that we talked about the other day. These are my girls, these are my girls, they've bonded over scrapbooking for a very special reason that I've already outlined, but this experience was so fun just much like our friend who I share the other picture of we weren't just playing, and we weren't just, you know, going home with the half of the layout done well, busted out, we totally crank out so much work, and we were accomplished and what we were doing. And no, this is not what we did all day. We exercise, we ate, we went out, we had fun, and we laughed. And this was our version of being super productive, being able to go home feeling good about what we did and to say to our spouses and our families, look what we did. This was not just a girl's trip and a mom getting away from the house. Look what we could bring, how we could bring home memories for our family. So that's, my own personal riel life example of of creating a physical social group, you know, a geographical. You know, however, it works for you, get together, I realize, and I totally appreciate the fact that that's not everybody's, not that blessed I am extremely blessed and lucky to have these girls in my life and this these experiences that we've created but this is my message to you guys, you can create this, you can create this. This is an opportunity for you if it is a good fit for you to reach out within your community and create these circles, and I have some tips on how to do that. But first, you really had a wonderful number that really mean that about you. Court records say anything of the pamela this she's going to win best name of the day as well. Pamela the blueberry scrapper she's had exactly the same stories becky says. You say a couple of my girlfriends meet the first friday of every month and we celebrate life through our bond through a bond of scrapbooking were for me to each other's homes, but we also meet a restaurant starbucks. We make frequent trips to our local scrap book stores to crop. We just love scrap booking in project life, and she says through this process, they've also gone through a lot, a lot of life therapy. Oh, one hundred thousand first time yes, we always solve the world's problems when we're together on it's a very positive experience thing that's what you were just saying as well and it's a great way to sort of introduce your families to each other so they get to know your children without necessarily physically meet yes, even though we certainly get our families together as well but yeah and that's the key word right there keeping it positive because there are so many there's so many ways that people not just women but people get together and they do things that aren't necessarily uplifting or productive or fifteen is really the word that I'm thinking of and so it's really important that if this is of interest to you that you do it in a way that speaks to you which really it really lifts you up, it makes you want to when you're done with that activity go home as a better person whether it's a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, whatever you want to be a better person because of the people that you surround yourself with and I will just take that a step further wasn't going I was applying to get really psychological or emotional, but I do want to say when it comes to creating your physical geographical, your social circle where you actually spend time with these people, I firmly believe that the people that you spend time with well affect you so much that you really will become that so these selective and who you choose to spend time with and I don't I don't mean take a hard look at your your life and and start knocking everybody off the table that's not what I mean because we all have like this functional relationship and you know, people that were like you're doing me crazy but I really when it comes to choosing who you spend this time with in terms of you know like they met their meeting on a monthly basis you know reach out to those who even though you don't know if that person might think that you're interesting you never know and you want to be uplifted by them maybe they need to be uplifted by you so I love that they show that I'm definitely going to want to hear more about what's happening out there as well so um here are my tips to help you feel like you can do this are you surprised by my first note begin with the end in mind what does it mean in this context um what is the end experience that you want we just touched on that a little bit but are you wanting to just get together and gap and eat yummy snacks and just catch up on each other's lives are you wanting to leave the the experience with major productivity and everybody goes home having just cranked out a ton of pages is that important and neither is more important, the other I'm just asking you think about that begin with the end in mind so that you d'oh produce a an experience for yourself and for those involved also beginning with the end in mind in terms of who's there, do you want a ton of people? Or do you just have a couple of friends? Some people are better with more people. It's it's a party it's fun, there's lots of people were all scrap booking some people shut down with that many people you want to just keep it intimate. So begin with the end in mind and thinking who you're going to invite. Like how many people also think about before you start something? Is this just a scrapbook night? Or is there something more that you want to dio one example as project lifers? If we are all feeling like you know, on a scale back on my product, I don't need so much stuff anymore. Maybe everyone that's invited is in invited to bring their stuff for either a swap. Hey let's, trade our product! I don't need this anymore. I'm not interested, but one man's trash is another man's treasure one scott walker's trash is another scrap bookers treasure or you bring it all together for a good cause. You bring it all together. Say everybody would go through your drawers, pull out this stickers and die cots in the paper and the stuff that you feel like. You don't want any more let's, bring it together and donated to a charity, or give it to the local school and do something that's of a good cause. That's another thing that you want to think about before you plan your party and excuse me and then and then also get an idea in your mind of what this looks like so that you don't become frustrated as the planner on guy say that because if this is something that somebody really finds interested in doing and they just kind of go into it and they plan it and then it's really stressful, and then you got your yourself. You never got anything done that night or everybody needed something and you weren't prepared and it becomes frustrating, then it kind of feels like a chore, and you're probably not going to be motivated to do it again. So beginning with the end in mind will save you a lot of hassle as far as that goes another thought I'm speaking of beginning with the other mine is to know your space. Canvass the pictures I showed you earlier, she knew that she's only inviting a handful of people and it was going to be at her house. She know that her space was the kitchen table and everybody was going to fit around it. If you want to take this farther and you have a friend who is a good sport, who has a larger space or maybe a second room with the table and you could spread out more, ask her, she'd be willing to host it. You can dio this part of the planet party planning, and she can she can open up her home or whatever. So also think about your space, and I'm going to take it one step further. Think about what's available to you and your community, whether it's a community center or a church or a school cafeteria. I don't, I don't really I'm not gonna go into specifics and get myself in trouble with volunteering these places. I'm just saying whatever is around you, could there be a possibility of maybe some area, some venue that doesn't cost money are maybe it's just fifty bucks everybody, you know, chips in five or ten bucks to be there so that everyone has space to spread out. And you can work with that venue to have tables and chairs, and then everyone has enough room. This is one way that you can cultivate the experience of creating a group effort a project life night project, life day or whatever, by knowing your space and researching that if you want are backing up to the beginning, just keep it simple. Do it around your kitchen table, invite just a few people and that's fine, too. Another tip is to have very clear expectations when I'm invited to something. Just please be clear with me. Let me know if there's a certain tire anything to know, let me know be clear about when it is not just when it starts, but if I know it's done in a certain time, let me know I'm just one of those communicators like I'm gonna communicate clearly with you. I'm going to be transparent with you, please be the same way with me, and we're going to be good. You know how I am and so I think that it's important to put some clear expectations out there, regardless of how many people are invited, let them know and be specific about what to bring, for example. And I don't mean be specific, like you need to bring a tremor and a parent's scissors. What I mean is, let them know if there's something that you were going to have available at your place, whatever that isthe that everyone can use let's, just say a trimmer, and everyone can use that tremor because there's not a whole lot of trimming, going on with project life and it all he needs to be used once in a while. That would be really nice to know it front, so everyone's not bringing these big trimmers. So if you're gonna if you're gonna have that available to hey guys, I will have a tremor there. So if you're going to be doing a lot of cutting, bring your own personal tremor, but otherwise just no, I've got it there. I would feel relieved by that if I were being invited cause I would go great that's one less thing I need to bring but also make sure that they understand that they do need to bring their own supplies unless you plan to provide them and it's really highly unlikely that you're going to be providing supplies for these parties I'm kind of the exception is expected of me that when I have dumping but I make it clear I let them know just so you guys know I'm gonna have stuff here for you what did I say to you guys before we got here too creative live I e mailed you and said bring your pictures I'll provide the party I'll bring all the rest I'll provide all of the products so that's of course an unusual circumstance but um and then of course set the time be clear about your expectation for time aa lot of crops or scott booking parties or project life knights happen at night for a reason it's everyone and get their kids in bed and they don't feel so guilty about leaving the house and going and doing this well it could go on and on and on it could go very, very late but if as the house I say you know what eleven o'clock I'm done I need I love you we get out of my house because I need proper sleep in order to be a good wife and a mother the next day then make that clear and just go ahead say tonight it's gonna be from seven to eleven come and go as you please and that's what our parameters are our global audience has put some boundaries around this moment they said unfortunately I got to go right now sarah brightman is giving a concert tonight and I have tickets but tonight I'll take pics to add to my alum of course I love that yeah putting boundaries about it goes back to that good life thing and creating the space and the boundaries that set you up for fun you and said it's setting you up is the key when we have expectations for ourselves or for others you know that's definitely going to be where you have you you create a better experience because if we have certain expectations and they're not met it's a little bit more disappointing, but if we if we kind of put them out there and be a little bit more clear about it, then it's more likely to kind of go as smoothly as we wanted tio so the final tip that I have is to make it regular. What are you saying? I'm told missing out that project really life january big picture classes dot com and I know you're going to see the same principles come up in a lot of areas where I teach not for redundancy, but don't these principles apply across the board? Yes please and you're in your your marriage with your spouse speaking with the end in mind no your space clear expectations make it regular great advice right in a totally different direction I was way have a good time here when it comes to scott looking actually getting together you d'oh want to consider this idea of making it regular? We heard from one of our friends and our internet audience that they do make it a regular thing I sadly don't have a regular thing in my life right now because I don't have a lot of consistency I am just everything that I'm doing and everything I've got on my play I'm a very social person we my husband and I go out often with friends I have lots of friends you know we are very social but when it comes to a scrapbook night that is a goal that I have it would be so great and I'm sure many friends would really love to come over for this purpose and the stuff that they can get to have a set up regular night where we can get together and do this thing but we heard how that works from one of our friends in our internet audience which is they set up a set day it's the first friday or whatever it was of every month they know this is going to happen well guess why that's an expectation for them it's also an expectation for their families moms who have children that kids know that this is what mom's going to d'oh and it's a priority to her because it's something special that she's doing for the family it's not just a girlsnight out mom's not just taken off she's doing something that benefits the family and so do spouses for those of you who are married or are in relationship where you do want to be respectful of that you know and just take off and say this is more important than you because it's not but taking those brakes and setting them up a schedule breaks that you know you could spend time together and do this thing that's productive and fulfilling and all of that it means that it's a piece of you and it makes you a better person a better version of you and so the spouse the boyfriend or girlfriend the children, the family the other people that you live with whoever that entails they know that this is your time so making it a regular thing is a great idea and it doesn't have to be weekly our monthly it could be quarterly in my case it might need to be like an annual thing because it's not happening very often so I actually I'm going to stop right there with this particular segment because we've talked to so many ideas and I have a feeling it's probably a lot buzzing in our in our chat room and online but anything else from you guys here in our live studio audience anything that you're feeling in terms of what you're feeling motivated to do with not only realize groups but maybe where you want to tap into the social media are the online communities anything at all? Yes, we're talking about his very thing at lunch so it's funny you brought it up we were saying like I don't have a lot of people around me that I do this with but we feel such camaraderie with the online comedian I think you had said means you're like this is my tribe like when I talk about project like with other people they like glaze over like what project? Yeah, yeah but it's nice to know like I think it's a jessica turnaround mom creative every tuesday she holds it where you can share your pages and I d'oh and I have great friends but I've never felt like we comment on each other's blocks and we've made a few connections that somebody knows somebody and it's just if you do don't have that core because I have great friends but they're not interested in this yet which is ok ok? We're not forcing anyone I don't have that the online community is fabulous like we said people's eyes light up when you like I get that like people that just get it and it's nice to have that yeah, absolutely. And it sounds like you've been a lot of people online, which is called. Do you have any people in your in your real life home that you associate with that do project life or have an interest in scott booking? Nobody at all. Now, you live in dallas by night and also your team. So, yeah, this is pretty darn find to hang out with us. So but dallas, I mean, like, unique situation, right? Being in alaska, you're on an island. Kodiak is an island. Okay, so that's that's a unique situation. And you said there were six thousand people that's correct. Okay, I'm from a little town in maryland that's where I born and raised in little town. And we said six thousand relate to that because I know what that feels like. I'm from a little town that was five thousand population growing up, born and raised would not change it for the world. But it's a small town and, you know, there's a lot of commonality between people and a lot of people know each other. But you know, the interest that I had as a girl. And growing up there just in my like my love of personal family history and what I was doing it was unique there weren't my friends certainly didn't have that same interest so I totally get what that feels like and I also know what that feels like I have met a lot of people not just in real life and working in this industry but online I could name a whole bunch of people that I feel like they're my sister there my fee friend and this what we're doing together but we've never met in real life we've never even had a phone call conversation technology can be used for good really and it's bless your life I'm assuming that's a safe thing to say that it's been a blessing in your life anything else that you guys when the show yes yeah well waking I have made a facebook page that is very cool what a smart idea which means that because it's a specific facebook page it's for you guys specifically right now am I going to be in fight I don't know how active I'll be I'll be other don't worry about it don't worry about I probably would never never have the time but you know where to find me on facebook right guys I love that that's really cool we were actually I remember I was talking to a producer or the host who I was talking to but we were actually acknowledging and noticing that with you guys that you have never met each other two of you came his friends. You don't even live in the same state, but your friendship from a long time ago roommates that college who have stayed friends all these years, you bond over scrapbooking and you guys are meeting for the first time and you have a common left or what you're doing, and now nobody is going back to the same state necessarily or the same city I should say, but you have a friendship, and when it be so neat, if at some point some of your past cross again, you will have established a connection, which I think is really cool if somebody else is going to say something, yes, going to say something from the standpoint of I've been involved in different crops and groups, but as time's gone on, it's been too exhausting to pack up everything that I need. And so now I'm thinking, ok, I know about these that exists with people that I know, but I just haven't felt like packing up my entire room to go and just take my pictures, and I can take the book and some cards and a pen, and I could be done, and I can that's doable. For me so it's gonna happen exactly it's manageable so it's gonna happen? And I appreciate you sharing that because that is typically I want to paint a picture really quickly of what it looks like to go to a crop for those of you who are non scrap bookers who are you know who have never experienced this and some of you have some of you have it, but traditionally historically what happens is there's a piece of luggage involved and there's all the stuff all of this stuff and I'm not talking about the page protectors in the photos I'm talking about the embellishments and all those fun gadgets that occur and show up in this industry they all get packing this luggage and you see these crop er's, you know, dragging luggage behind him going to a crop and they're having a good time and it's all funding good but is an effort it's a tour and it's not about being some people love that, but as you're saying it's more motivating and it's more attainable toe actually in the essence of doing project life, what are you bringing with you? Your album that already has the page protectors in it your stack of photos and you bring that one box that's the core kit or you bring your tote that has your mix of cards in it it's just the one container of something and I just think that that if that helps simplify the process and makes it easier for people to get together well then let's get together let's make it happen ok, so anything else before I move over okay internet wise I'd love to hear from our friends out there who are watching and maybe how they're feeling motivated what their ideas are, what their questions are huge amounts of motivation and actually lisa, you've got so many more new friends now wait kind of slightly hard t catch up in the because they're all coming in from all different parts of texas I'm not familiar with texas too much but katy texas is that me? You okay when you've got a new friend there she can't wait to start scrapping with you you're on your way awful wait we have a four foot tall person from germany no actually and we do we do have a lot of fun, fun comment, fun conversations going on and really changing people mindset about scrapbooking and there's a lot of people that are saying you know, project life is something that they want to help for other people to to help make their life easier and to really change the experience of the crop into something that is easy that works with your life that get you back to living and on all of that so that's definitely what I'm saying for starting to yeah, I mean, the chapters have been really engaged because we really appreciate all your comments has been fantastic and it's clear you're having an awful lot of fun and that's what this is all about and I wish I hope it's really coming across, I wish you could bottle the fund that the ladies are having in the room and share that with because it's been absolutely wonderful, they've been terrific and lisa, who knows where this it's going to be? Oh, are you ready for this question? I think a great head of internet dating, but this could be a whole, but we are going to take a little bit of a break now really sad is our last break that's what we're going to talk about when we come back, we're going to wrap of we're going to finish up what this has been all about. I'm not going to just repeat everything I really want to help drive home that point that I've tried to make in other ways that will really help kind of help everybody understand what it is that they personally want to get out of this and how to move forward, and with everything that we've learned culminating up to this point, we're going to wrap it up and yeah, sad ending I'm not ready for it either, but that's coming up for our last segment