Lessons

Lesson Info

Explore

We have a new theme for today as I promised and the new theme is exploration so like yesterday please write x below or someplace on your workspace that we know that's what we're focusing on today, we're exploring the dreams and ideas that we came up with. Now I have to remind yourself to please be nice to yourself. Please take your time I could I assure you that you have the answer you just don't know it yet, but it's he it's inside you somewhere, you just have to bring it out, and I need to say again what we're doing in three sessions, three seven hour days I do with my clients over the course of three plus months. S so if you don't figure out what you want to be when you grow up at the end of these three sessions and jen was so funny, you yesterday at the end of such as you said, well, I don't know what this means now, like, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up yet and I said, well, it's the end of day one, jan like, get your act together, but you know you're gonna have suct...

ion great ideas, what you want to do, you're going to have things to research and explore, so just know that this is usually a process that takes a nice amount of time and you could give yourself like that three month deadline, so if you're doing this live with us now by the end of the year, you could say, ok, this is what I need to do between now and the end of the year to explore this and be able to make the disc decision on what I want to pursue from a riel strong, committed, heart based place. I'm such a hippie dippy person, the first part of exploration is to face our career fears, and we talked about that so much, I think I kept saying over and over and over again yesterday we're going to talk about that during field, the career fear into it anyways, so here we are it feel the career, fear and do it anyways, so your homework wass to answer the question, what is it that holds you back from pursuing something you love? What air the vampire voice is telling you that sucking the good stuff out of you? So I call our inner critics and those mean voices in our head, the vampire voices because they suck the good things out of us. So if you were able to do that last night, chime in with the chat, we're gonna talk to our audience members otherwise if you weren't, that should literally be something that takes you one minute if you have the workbook it's on page forty seven and you could write it down right, they're in the space that's provided to you, but I love to hear from our studio audience what you guys wrote down yes, jenna, um, activity I did last night before making my boyfriend do the exercises and it's interesting, I wrote that the vampire voice said this choice will impact other people, huh? Because it's easy to take on that responsibility. I'm sure, um if other people have kids like it's a lot to think about other people's lives along with your dreams so that's such a good one and such a good one and then I love that you already have kind of been addressing that fear and concern by opening up this conversation and saying to your boyfriend, sit your butt down, I want to know your values. I want to know your fairy tale we're having this conversation and again, it's half the reason why I call myself that when I grow up, coach, because when you're a grownup, you have different values and responsibilities and things to think about and worry about. Then you do when you're a kid or just out of college and are able to, you know, go backpacking through europe for one hundred bucks and like, be okay with that or live with seven eighteen roommates in queens you know so so it's great that you that you were able to put that together already but that's a definitely a really common fear too when we talked about what you wrote down well I was I was laid off after being at a job for nineteen years uh and um as my friend said that my reactions ranged from like yikes toe wow, but the way far on the ike's side the voice basically said I'm half deaf fat and sixty to who is going to hire me that is a mean voice e I have happy to say managed to counter it somewhat by getting hearing aids so they have death isn't as much of an issue I could lose weight and sixty two is sort of like in turns sixty three asli mother says, you know what's the alternative right like thin the alternative that was that was pretty hard voice that's it's a mean voice that's such mean voice but even when now you know that you've already counteracted those things it's still in is it still in your head? The flu? I was trying to think of it recently on dh I could I could think of okay the sixty two and and I couldn't I couldn't remember the half deaf because thie right it's been three four months and the hearing aids of have helped that so right, I'm yeah, I'm contracting, and I'm hoping that experience comes after absolutely accounts for so much personal experience, professional experience and again putting a positive spin on where you are now and what you wanted to next and why you're passionate about it, why you'd be a good candidate for what you do next and why people would want to hire you and all that stuff. Thank you for sharing that. I know that that's a vulnerable thing. Yes, I love what you said to before about how, you know, I don't know what some of your ideas are for what you want to do but online, what difference does it make, what you looked like, how old you are or what your gender is any of it? You know, it doesn't if people resonate with what you're putting out there, and that includes your looks and your age and you know, but you're going to attract the people that want to be there and listen to you and hire you and work with you. And and so it's, not anything that we should be hiding that's detrimental, I find it. So I did I go to a website now and there's like not a picture of the person who's being featured or, you know, their last name? Isn't there something like, I feel like they're hiding something, so the more you just own it, the more I think you're going to connect with people. So what are we hearing in the shag j k? I'm waiting to see their homework it's interesting nina's saying my vampire voice says I am not original. There is nothing special about what I have to say. I don't add anything to life's conversation, so I'm not a real artist. I'm just a fraud that no, that can't be true mean, absolutely way have to get rid of that. Andi, just have another one here, chris christina is saying I like vampires, so I don't have hauntings toe hold me back unless, of course, my mom does amazing the moms of the eyes, but I think after my five international photography awards, I have now convinced my mother that my pet pet pet photography stuff works that did overcome it, and she got that recognition in the community by getting awards approved, she could do it, you know, it's, one of the I'm getting chills now again, it's one of those trust things and it's one of those catch twenty two things that sometimes you can't get the confidence and trust you need until you do this stuff, and, uh, my father, who is on ly been, you know, helpful and supportive and whatever career I'm bruce doing when I first launch my website, it was blue and it had flowers, and it was like the most basic thing ever. It was two thousand eight I emailed my close friends in my family to say, like, oh, here's, what I'm doing like here's, what I'm doing here is my website and my dad trying to be helpful, called me up, and he said, oh, well, the website looks good, but I just want to tell you, I want to hire you on, so I smile because I because I kind of owe that why? Why is that? Because, well, you know, the way that you write on the website is very casual, and it is not professional and you hate to any reference this is being jewish. I think I said, I'm a nice jewish girl from long island, and I think I said, oy ve somewhere, and so I think to me that translated into, like, there was just too much personality, and it wasn't the professional kind of dry sight or service that he's used teo and thank god, I learned enough as an actor to know that what was going to make this business successful was to put myself out there right away and stay away from the stock photos of the business, ladies and their suits with their arms grows on dh so I said to him, well, thank you for that feedback, but I'm not looking to work with sixty year old businessman, and so I think that the creative people who are in their twenties, thirties, forties, who I want to be working with, I think they're going to resonate with what I'm putting out there, and I didn't change anything, and I just pretty much said, well, thank you for your feedback, and that was it. And about six months later, I was still in my executive assistant job. I got a call from someone at newsweek who was doing a video feature on life coaching and wanted to know if he could come to my apartment the next day and interview me for video feature in newsweek. Okay. Ah, and so I called in sick to work and he came over and there was pretty much you could see it if you go to when I grow up, coach, dot com slash a bow it or click on about me, I have all my videos there, and you'll be able to see it. It was pretty much like a fixture on me, uh on newsweek when I was still at my job and and when that came out my dad called me and he said, yeah, you know how I gave you that feedback before don't listen to me you're obviously doing everything right and I don't know what I'm talking about uh and he wrote me a beautiful email yesterday he's been turning in here just one oh my oh my god she's been saying like you're the only business I know that's doing well in the recession so uh it was interesting I think it's a generational thing but but that was the proof he needed that I was doing something right but for me I knew I was doing something right to begin with. So that's interesting piece operational comment from cassandra h she says I enrolled for college yesterday which is required for pursuing my dream career on thirty two years old and this is my first time able to enroll for college in the bachelors of fine arts here I come and thank you michelle for the inspiration I got chills again yeah what's her name uh cassandra signed a congratulations that that makes my life oh my god it's unbelievable uh we'd love to hear more things like that as to what you took away yesterday any actions you might have taken I literally spent three hours yes today online looking at everything going twitter and on facebook and we have I think right now we have almost fifty people in the dream career creators facebook group and people are starting to introduce themselves and talk about what they want to do and uh that group we're going to be supporting each other I'm going to be there and if you go to when I grow up coach dot com slash creative lives, you'll be able to get access to that yes jasmine's anew well, like you were having me ms chandra excited to be here, so for me I've been in the same job well, same industry for about nine years and it's the it industry very fast paced the challenge for me and I think some of those vampire voices are when you kind of reach a successful point in where you're at um in the industry it's hard to leave they give you the golden handcuffs I've got your stock, your rs use your benefits but it drives you like we like to call it turn and burn ah uh uh to the point of just not really having the willful live only that that I just don't want to live anymore that's all it does todo right eso it's hard like when you get to a point where you've reached a place that a lot of people would work hard too get teo, but then you yourself are finding this is not satisfying me anymore, that the vampire voices of you can't give up the stability, the nice income, all of that for that huge risk is what seemed is to be hitting me. Absolutely okay, we're gonna talk about this. We're going through the top ten career fears that I hear from my clients, and then we're gonna talk about how we are going. Tio I don't say overcome them because honestly, the vampire voices don't stop but there's a way to hear them and acknowledge them and do your work anyway and just keep on going and not let them stop you. But yesterday we spent a little bit of time talking about are effective escape from these jobs, and what does it take to actually make that transition? I think once you know what it is you want to dio, especially if if you know it's not as easy as I'm putting a resume together, I'm sending it out. I'm just gonna get a new job, you know, someplace else and it's something more entrepreneurial and risky and creative, you know, you just have to kind of work backwards to figure out for you what's going to make you more comfortable and confident in doing that, and what are the baby steps you could start? Taking and what are you okay with right? So the story I told earlier like my husband just said, oh, well, you could just make sixty thousand dollars by being a life coach on the side and then you could leave your job and like that was just not ever going to happen, so I had to reconcile things and we have a compromise that like no, actually I could save five months of salary in the bank I could stretch that out too eight months of living expenses if I'm not an idiot about it, which I'm usually not with my money on dh you know, the other pieces I'm going to make sure that I have enough client toe work west that it makes me feel like people out in the world know who I am I'm going to have a professional website I'm going teo uh was the other thing that I needed? We had health insurance through his company who's that a full time job, but he left his job over a year ago to freelance now we're both freelancing and his and his situation was very similar with the golden handcuffs and the money and now as a freelancer he could charge so much the advertising world that we figured out if he worked six months out of the year, he could make the same amount of money than working a whole year full time so sometimes I mean that's an eye opening thing and we say oh we'll never get the jobs or it's not gonna pay enough but like in reality it does and then thinking of not knowing where the next job's coming from while if you only need that for six months it's a little bit allows you to breathe easier a little bit more but thank you for bringing that up I think a lot of people are in that position so here the top ten career fears from my client's career fear number one oh my gosh I've heard this so much but I'm a lost cause there is no hope for me I'm not special I'm not different I'm not unique enough and there's no way that I'm going to be able to do this and not only is there no way that I'm gonna be able to do this you're not even gonna be able to help me I don't know that you've helped hundreds thousands of other people but you're not going to able to help me and it's always funny whenever I hear this I go oh actually the people who have said this to me usually end up having the most growth throughout the time that we work together and I think it's because you know when it's time to put the pedal to the metal when you make the commitment and the investment in your time and your money by sitting in these seats either literally or figuratively, you're ready, you're ready for this change, and so I think that this comes a lot from us renaissance souls from us, multi passionate people who've been told our whole lives that we are a d d we are flaky, we don't follow through, we jumped from one thing to the other and that it's this really negative thing, but it's not, and if you come back tomorrow for session three to the health by multi passionate segment, then then we'll talk more about that, but you were not hopeless. You are not special to the point where, like you're special that this isn't going to happen, you're special, and we need to embrace our eun equipe, which is also everything that we're doing here. So I think really, and this is a trust thing in kind of a hippie dippy thing, but how to combat this fear is that you have to believe that you're passionate, grown up career exists is out there for you and that you can make it happen, and you just have to commit to the exploration, which is why today's theme is explore, we're just exploring we're taking the pressure off, so I think, you know, I said this yesterday, but it's worth repeating the fact that you're here means that you have a sullivan were of optimism and hope that things can work out for you, and so let that light in, even if it's just a little bit and focus on that belief that you have right now and you'll be able to get through the work and find your thing, and then I've never worked with a client who has found the what and has not found the how ever so I could I could give you hopefully, um, some trust in the fact that once you do find your thing, you could find a way to work it within the semblance of your committed relationship or, you know, putting food on the table or making sure your kids have closed all the grown up things that are important to us, making sure you could take that trip to europe. You've been wanting to take career fair number too, but I've never felt passionate about anything before this came up yesterday, too. I had this like epidemic amongst my clients, uh, as they were sending me their questionnaire before we work together, and I asked them, what have you felt passionate before about and what you feel passionate about now, and I had the string of people that just said oh, I'm never experienced I've never been passionate about anything and I believe in it as a concept and I see other people being passionate, but I'm not passionate about anything. I've never felt that before on dh that nothing has really stayed with me for a long time. So my dirty little secret I think here is that follow your passion and follow your bliss like can be great career advice for the right people, but if that's not resonating with you instead it's about following your lifestyle, dreams and just what you want to be doing in the mornings when you wake up so it's not about oh my god, I need to, like, be in love with every single thing that I d'oh it's about. You know, I think the perfect day for me is like waking up and going for a long run and then being able tio, have my coffee and read the paper and then connecting with a client on a call and then doing some design work, having a lunch out with the friends and then maybe working on my laptop in a coffee shop and then coming call them making a nice dinner and spending time with my family and reading a book and going to bed like that, then that's what we're looking for so you can you could release that pressure to find your passionate thing or to be a passionate person and I think that you could use another word that's more playful that's more fun that's less serious on the roof of your passion could be such a serious scary words, so feel free if this is resonating with you, replace that word passion with playful, with fun with big like I big like this or this is what brings me joy career, fear three but I've never been able to focus. I mentioned yesterday to focus is thie f word and my book, and it is the absolute guarantee that if this is what you're telling yourself as a multi passionate, creative person, which I know probably one hundred percent of us here are I'm one too that's the way that you throw yourself in jail without a key because how we thrive is by being expansive is by giving ourselves space is by embracing the and instead of the or so we want to be able to work with our renaissance soul instead of against it. And, you know, you need to just figure out what works for you it's really interesting how all of our renaissance souls are kind of different I've had clients who have says me michele I need to work on three projects at once otherwise I just get two burned out or I get bored and I drag and that's when like I don't follow through and I have had a client that has said to me I want to work on one thing but I want it to be over and three months and that's how her renaissance so work so you know by experimenting by exploring with the different ways you could work with the projects that you have in the things you want to dio you could just learn what's right for you uh and in the workbook there is a whole bunch of links two wonderful people who offer organizational on time management tips for right brain people I've never seen something that works for everyone I wish like someone someone please invent a time management productivity technique that all creative, multi passionate people good news but until that happens there people like productive flourishing charlie gilkey theirs there's a bomb shell there is the pomodoro technique, those air all you know people and things and again links in the workbook that will could start you off on figuring that out we also wanted just point out too that if you embrace the and instead of the or you could have what some people call a slash career, so tomorrow we're interviewing leslie dis santis who's a model slash artist slash certified polarity therapist slash mr use in training she's a slash career uh, otherwise you could do what I d'oh, which just kind of have a sneaky renaissance old career within an umbrella. So my umbrella career, my umbrella title is and when I grow up coach, I'm a creative career coach. I could say that quickly and easily and communicate that pretty effectively. But behind the scenes, I were fifteen hats in my business and I could pick up the hat whenever I want and put it down whenever I want. So you could sort of see if you start looking at the businesses and the people that you admire you, what they actually do day to day and what's the variety and that. And how could I build the variety into my bed business? Yes. Do it. Say it. I love it. You're so excited. I just want to pull you back really quickly, tio my don't forget my carless. Yes, I love. Yes, she's in the workbook to her life is messy. Planners are awesome. Fabulous. Thank you for that recommendation. I love my yes, stacy were just quickly. I just when you were saying about the renaissance soul and that you know, learning to work with me I wish that I would have realized that so much longer ago like I beat myself up so many times cause I'm a procrastinator it's that little bit of time right before something is done where everything starts to click and I'm like, oh, I got this I can do it I can get it then I can know I'm supposed to do something for three months but it doesn't matter until like three days before it's supposed to get done and then all the productivity kicks in and I used to really just beat myself up about it but now I'm like that's how I work it's ok? And it always gets done s oh stop it stop that I think it's I think it's just society let's blame society stacey right? Because we're last supposed to work like that we're supposed to be organized start early and then not have this push like we've been told that there's something wrong with us if we're the type of person who like when the deadline's looming that's when we get our work done but if that's how you know you work then then structure your business in that way set those deadlines and no three days before this deadline is what I'm doing all this work because I'm going to power through it and that's what's gonna work for me thank you for sharing reappear for but I need to know now where this will lead teo oh, my gosh! We had a question I think yesterday that was like, what happens if I do all this work? And I find this thing and I do it and then it's not what I wanted d'oh, I better not start it at all. Um, we're leaving the crystal ball at home no offense to any psychics or people with this ability like I know that you're out there and there's there's truth in that for sure, but we don't know what's gonna happen in five years from now and fifteen years from now we don't know what's gonna happen five minutes from now or thirty sec from now. So we need to instead just give ourselves the time and the space and the un pressure it's a new hyphenated word I invented to explore and play and research what would suit you now? And if you follow the thing that makes you equally scared and excited, I promise you that's what's going to lead you to growth that's what's going to lead you to out ha moments that's going to be the thing that you do, uh that you will not regret it, I promise you that and I have clients that check in with me three four years later from when we worked together and they'll say you know how I was doing this thing when we stop working together I did that for a while but then it led me to this and now I'm doing this and it's different sometimes it's radically different sometimes it's just a little pivot and they say I could not have gotten here without doing this and I have to say you know you could think and talk and doo worksheets all day long for years and years and years but the way you're getting the most insight is by actually frickin doing some vague so make sure that you are exploring in a very real tangible way uh worksheets and classes are great jumping off points but they only take you so far career fair five but I'm not good at anything in particular I'm a jane of all trades and I'm a mass of none so therefore everyone tells me I need to be an expert in something and I'll never feel like an expert I'm not unique I'm not special um I would love to reference and I hope everyone goes and looks this up the links in the workbook but kelly stole zoll she's a content creator of ted she had a really interesting interview on a podcast called the unmistakable creators that I listen teo on and she talked a little bit about her background and she realized that her thing is being a generalist, and I love that so much, right? So show her thing is like, she embraced the fact that she wants to know all the things about all the things she wants, a little bit of knowledge about, everything she's, someone who learns really quickly and passionately and that letter, obviously to be the content creator of ted, that that has to be an attribute of it, and I'm sure that played a part in her getting that job, and you actually can be an expert at being a generalist. I mean, I think that there's really value to be someone for me to work with someone that might not know anything about my field, what I need, but they want to learn, and they're going to do the research there into the work, and they're gonna be excited about it. They're going to come back to me and tell me what they find and, uh, you know, it's it's a way that you could b and articulate and talk about so it's not about being the best in the world at this one thing is bringing everything together so that you see how it fits your personality traits, your skill set, your story, your education, and we are all unique just from that, oh, right, and I make it to the yes. Saturday but if you weren't here for it, I think it's really worth taking the thirty seconds to google creative career coach and you're going to see many pages come up and hopefully I'm on the first page of not at the top of it and open new tab side by side with the first five links that show up and you're going to see that we're all creative career coaches but also different and our approaches and our style and our branding and our offerings that there's room for everyone and there is just a baseline iniquity about all of us that'll career fear six but I don't even know what I like uh okay I don't know what I like like dreaming uh this is something that we're not encouraged to do as grown ups um and it needs to stop and it needs to be something that becomes a priority. So if this is it it's really hard to do this work and be here and come to any sort of conclusion if you were just if you just don't even know what you like like that has to be the first step and especially for us women out there not to gender stereotype but we're so busy doing everything for everyone else we put ourselves last all the time whether we have kids, whether we're married, it doesn't matter you know where there were going to our friends happy hour to celebrate her new job instead of coming home and doing our own work and doing what we need to do for ourselves or reading a book or it's taking a bubble bath and having some downtime stacy mention like I just want to sit on the couch my glass of wine on like that would be a good time for me but if you want to start right now you could do a brain dump of what you like to do is a kid I think that's a great place to start no matter how silly oran juvenile it is go out and get yourself a coloring book from the dollar store and some crayons and color and one page by a jump rope and jump some rope uh andrea talked yesterday about playing jacks go get yourself a jack set and and go play start there yes miss jennifer do you also find maybe that it's um like a cover up for not wanting to really go there in terms of what it is that you want because you don't think it's available to you and stuff tio yes and no I think sometimes and this is just I think we all have to know ourselves well enough to know if this is an excuse or not so sometimes I think it's it's an excuse that you're really like it's an excuse and sometimes I think I think it's a reality I think that um I think especially for mothers, I think that it's, like they've been so focused on their kids for so long and and making sure that their families taken care of and that's been their priority, that they're just like ice. I don't do anything for myself there, self, except I sympathise sit in front of tv, and I watch my that's few marathon for hours, and you know, that counts is downtime and relaxing, and I don't want to take that away from anyone because s for you brings joy to my life, you know? But I think that it is a really saying as long as it's a real thing that makes sense. Yeah, yeah says no, you know, I think a lot of people like a lot of things, but they don't give themselves enough credit for what they like for it to even be a potential profitable thing. Um, in that same example of the new mother, my best friend just had her baby, a about six and a half months old and she's struggling with that same high demand career, she's in public relations, it's in a big s oh, it's a lot of time, but what she likes is, you know, learning about the baby and learning about how other moms do things, and she I've been thinking about starting her own blogging and just being able to kind of conceptualize how what you're learning and what you're doing and what you are spending your time on, whether or not you think you're interested in it, you're spending so much time on it that it could help others and help me with the same time. I think that that is so great, andi, I think we touched on this yesterday. If you're on the cusp of a transformation, if you have a new baby, if you're looking for a new job, if you're here, you're on the cusp of a transformation, and so I think it's really great to kind of try to connect the dots that if you're here with your baby and you want to talk about your baby and find others who have new babies, and how could you do that in a way that still is fulfilling for you on dh? That could just live in a lot of different ways. Maybe you're signing up for what they have, they have, like stroller exercise classes for new moms. Maybe you're just signing up for that? Or maybe you're starting your own stroller club thing for moms, or maybe you're blogging or, you know, like, what is it that could still tie into your new interests that you could just start exploring and meeting people if that's what you need to dio someone had their hands over here? Yes, I was just thinking, personally, I think, to explore the different, uh, career passed, I was thinking, or, uh, like dream hobbies, azam putting it, um, I might just go write a bio for each one of those specific dreams to see if I can really formulate it. Why that dream connects with myself and then visualize, is it? And then if one of them are two or three works, I could easily put it in a site and own it. But if it doesn't, maybe it's a dead end for me. I love you. Yes, to all of those things writing your bio as if you're going to go do that thing and have people hire you. I think it's such a powerful exercise. It was actually one of the first things I did in my coaching school, and initially I was like, I can't write my bio about what a good coach I am. I've haven't coached anyone for more than fifteen minutes like who's gonna hire me and by just looking at my own story and being able to talk about my, um my education, my experience as an actor and the crossroads that brought me to being a coach and all of the skill set that I had value system that I had and things that I already knew that I was good at. I put that down on paper. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a really good coach so that's a great exercise. I love that. So also a way to combat this is to go get the declaration of you, which is my published book that came out last summer that I co wrote with the artist jessica swift. The subtitle is how to find it, own it and shout it from the rooftops, and it was written and created for women. Let's. Just say it right for creative women to tackle like the big, scary, scary topics of our lives in a really fun, whimsical, creative way away. So you could articulate what it is that matters to you and what you find fun and what your opinions are. And at the end you'll have the declaration of you so that's, a really big help for something like this. Yeah sure because way got a viewer who's saying I'm absolutely in love and excited by my yoga practice but I don't know if it's something that I enjoy is a personal practice or something that I want to do is a career is there a way you think it's really identify what that passionate they should pursue it yeah that's interesting while in keeping with today's theme it's about exploration so I think the question there is toe act as if she's going to be a yoga teacher and see how that would be what you have to do talk to someone who's a yoga teacher find out what the certification is like find out how much it's gonna cost find out the time commitment I think you kind of could listen to that gut and like you might hear those voices oh got to be so excited to spend this time on yoga I'd be so excited I feel that this destruction good investment or if you have that kind of sense of like well it seems like a lot of time like yoga but not that much um or if you want to teach a class and say to your friends like, hey this someone wanna three people want to come to my house and we'll do a yoga class in the backyard if you don't live in brooklyn like me and you have a backyard or you rent a rehearsal space or fifteen bucks and say I'm gonna teach you yoga class and just see if you like it I think like the no pressure way to do that and uh I think she has to tune back in later today I think it's later today where we're talking to molly quickly the online dating cheerleader who did just that and now has created a business that is bringing in the money in just a few months after it started because she I thought she wanted to write online dating profiles for people and all she did was go on facebook and say hi I think I want to write online dating profiles of people anyone need help with theirs let me know and we could work together and I could write it for you and she had four people raised their hands and then when she worked on those four peoples profiles she knew this is it this is it I love this I love this process I feel helpful I'm good at this and it was like it was a done deal and it was easy for her to do that in order to figure it out and fairies online and she's her fear is procrastination on she says she's she just has this fear of being stuck doing something because she doesn't get the energy to get going into it but we are dealing with a lot with that absolutely, uh career here seven and that's where we are, right? Yes. Okay career for your seven but I don't have the time and the energy we spoke about is yesterday. I think that just like what you talked about, I think that sometimes this is a really excuse it's really, when you have a new baby and you work a high powered pr job and you're working eighty plus hours a week and sometimes it's really riel on and sometimes it's not sometimes it's an excuse and it's not really a ballot excuse that keeps us on the couch watching s v u and I think if you keep your eyes open as you go about your day, you're going to see where your time wasters are and you know not that you have to give up facebook and shut your account down. But if you are spending an hour on facebook every day like like, spend fifteen minutes on facebook and spend forty five minutes doing the thing that you want to be exploring, I think really, the way to combat this just door is by taking baby steps just like everything s o start taking your lunch breaks during the day, or at least go for a walk, get out of your office or your place of employment, do something for yourself, take a walk buy an ice cream take your laptop to a coffee shop and write a block post talked to people on twitter like like carve out some time in the day for you fifteen minutes a day equals about eight hours a month and that is not chump change so don't don't short yourself by saying doing something fifteen minutes a day doesn't count doesn't add up to anything and go by the artist in the office I love this book so much it's out of print but you could get used copies on amazon and maybe your local bookstore it's by summer pierre this needs to be the bible for anyone working in an office it's going to make your days so much more fun and creative and intentional and try to make it a habit so if you start with those fifteen minutes a day they're going to be even more powerful if you know that those fifteen minutes are coming right when you wake up or right after dinner right before you go to bed just experiment with when you fail feel most creative and energetic and that'll be a good time to try toe car about yes darling I also think kind of along the lines what stacy was saying about deadlines there is something pretty magical for me about accountability somebody else and even if it's just sort of you know a partnership that you create with a friend or something but if you you know, all of a sudden, the time is there when you're told somebody you were going to get it done and they're waiting for you. Yes, I mean, I think that's a big reason why coaching is so popular and I think it's different when it's coming from someone that you're hiring or like it's outside your loved one circle as opposed to your husband saying, like, did you do your thing? My husband actually hired someone else for his career coaching because he wouldn't listen to me on then she told him things that I would told him, and I was like, and it's stuck when she told him, but not when I told him so you know, not that everyone has to go out there and hire a coach, but I think you know what you are going to be receptive to, and it brings up such a great point. You need to know yourself enough to know I have to have accountability, I have to find an accountability accountability buddy is what I like to call it I have to find a coach have to find a friend, I have to find a group, I could go too when I grow up coach, dot com slash creative live and be part of the dream career creators and find someone there that I connect with and we could work together and support each other and check in and figure out how that all works of such a great point. Thank you. Career fear ate, but I never follow through. This is another classic renaissance old trade where we start things and one sweet kind of proven to ourselves that we could do them. We stop doing them and we pick up something else and you know what? Okay, and it really doesn't matter when it comes to the career piece. What matters is that you look at more of your longstanding interest. What is it that's kind of been around that you've been interested in, so maybe, you know, you picked up painting for a year, and then you went to crow saying, and then you went to mixed media, you probably wouldn't zero in on any of those things, but there's something about artistic process, of creativity that you could say, oh, being creative is really important to me. How could this fit into my career? Oh, I have a former client that I always uses as an example for this. Her name is abby. Her website is communicate with your dog dot com and about halfway through our sessions, she said, michelle, I realized that the thing that's been consistent. In my life has been my love of dogs have loved dogs for years and so important for me that they're well taken care of and that they have owners that understand them and so then the wheels started spinning as to well, what is it about dogs that would make you feel fulfilled and would make you feel like you're making a difference and being helpful what can you help people with? And she ended up uh uh kind of putting together her own dog training school right to put her own curriculum together she did the research to figure out here the books I need to read and hear the videos I need to watch and you know here the different here's an internship that I could do or a volunteer position I could dio and she ended up with communicate with your dog, which is even more than dog training it's really cause she wants dog owners and dogs to speak the same language and she knows that when that happens there is less of a likelihood for a dog to be given to a shelter or for a dog to get hurt and so that's where it all comes from with her and she's actually still in her full time teaching job while she's been doing this on the side for a while and right now it's really working out well for her so she's someone with this slash career but instead of looking at home I'm so flicking and never follow through it was like, oh, I've always loved dogs what could ideo with dogs so again, we could also make sure to build this into our careers and our career fairy tale yesterday cheryl mentions that she was going to take her projects and turn them into businesses and I think that that's one way to go or you could also build projects into your existing business. So for me just the fact that I have so many offerings it means that I could you know, be the leader and decide to run my online group career change program career camp for three months and then I know I'm leaving it and I could leave it for a year I could leave it for six months then I could start a podcast tomorrow if I want teo I might start one soon actually on then I could stop doing videos it's like I've built it into my business really easily the fact that sometimes I get bored of things and wanted just not follow through with them obviously you've to follow through on what you promised you can't take people's money for a career camp and they expect you to be there and get all the things between september to december and then in the middle of october you're like I'm bored of this you guys just you know, yeah, we're going to stop this now, like I have to follow through to the end of that, but I could change my hat's based on where my current interest and attention are both in the long term and in the short term, no career fair nine, we're almost at the end, but I've made too many changes already. I hear this like michelle, I've already had so many jobs no one's taking me seriously. This is an excuse. This is a total excuse. This is nothing but an excuse. I have had twenty jobs in seven years. The link to that post where you could see all of them is in that workbook. It not only didn't prevent me from being taken seriously, as when I grow up, coach, I think actually it was a positive thing. It didn't stop me from getting hired for a fine financial company, you guys and can't get more corporate than that. So I think that if you see your prior gigs as a compass and as a compass and not a map, then that's the way to express what you've done and what all those opportunities have given you and it's about positively spinning them as to what you learned and how you're better equipped than the next person to deal with these things, I really think that traditional resumes are just the enemies of all of us creative people. I think that when we see things on paper like that in a chronological order and like here's, our skills and here's, our bullet points, um, it's not it doesn't express who we are, so as an exercise, if this is you as an exercise you could go to when I grow up, coach, dot com and click on the interest button anywhere at all in the top right of my sight, goto aboard called rock and resumes, and I've pinned a lot of visual resumes and different resume styles that we could use there's something called the skill based resume that I think is really creative, creatively friendly, and we do your resume the way you want, teo just know you're not sending it out anywhere you're not applying for anything, but if you decide to make it visual, if you put it in the manner, uh, and creation that makes sense for you, if it expresses what you want to express, then it's the right thing and the example I always use for this is a former client of mine who is in switzerland. She wanted to apply for an art show she had include her cv, and she never had any professional artistic experience she's never gotten into an art show before and instead of, you know, writing a traditional here's my cv, which they call it in europe uh, she decided to make it visual. She did a watercolor and said, this is when I started painting when I was three and when I was ten, I got this award from I am elementary school, and this is when I picked up my paints again and this is why I am passionate and she got into the art show and it was super competitive. So, you know, sometimes you're gonna be surprised when you go out on the limb and you show your personality and you do it in the way that is true to you, you're also going to track the people who are going to appreciate that. So, you know, just like we have to be the gatekeepers in our own business a lot of the time, it could also be the gatekeepers for our day jobs. I used to send out cover letters, uh, e mails with the subject line top ten reasons to interview me for and the position because who has time for fifty? And it was just a bullet pointed list, and I knew that the people who were responding to that were more likely to be people that would get me so, you know, I think what did all your prior jobs give you and how does that make you more capable than the next person on the last common career? Fear is but I won't be able to actually make it work, but I won't be able to follow through but it's not gonna happen for me, but I'm not going to make any money but I'm too old like that's all encompassed in this right here and I could repeat humbly but excitedly that I have words with almost three hundred people one on in a one on one coaching capacity I've never, never, never never had someone who has found the what and not found how we've always found the way to make it work it's about those stop thinking and extremes stop thinking that it's this big way of doing things or no way at all look at your lifestyle look at your needs try to figure out what I like to call phase one what's the smallest things that you could do and then what's face to what's the next up how could you build on it? Right? I have ah former client who told me right off the batches of michelle I'm really attached to my upper middle class style on she was a lawyer and I got exactly what she meant so even though her big dream was eventually quit her job and become the owner of the book store, which he decided to do instead is to start blogging about books, and she thought of a side business that was related to owning a bookstore but that could start out is being a solo preneurs riel venture where she didn't have to put out any money and she could dio on the side. I don't mention what the business is because I think it's a great idea and I don't want anyone to steal and in case she's still working on it, but you know if that's you and this is another way to build that bridge between the golden handcuffs and a new job that you're starting from scratch is it's not about oh my gosh, I have to go from my high powered pr job or I'm getting six figures teo taking out a business loan and not pulling in a paycheck as the owner of a bookstore instead. It's well, how could I take that baby step what's that what's an easier thing to do? What's an easier thing to do? We do not have to do the hard thing right away and just don't expect an instant transition we can't expect it to happen overnight it took me two years and seven months to get my certification build my business enough that I could I felt comfortable and confident and leaving my job at the time it felt like a long time now it feels like nothing like that's. All I had to do to be here right now, doing this in front of all of you guys, like, easy, easy, easy decision. So just know that. Yes, while you're in it, it feels big, and it feels overwhelming. But when you're gonna look at it from the other side, and you've given yourself the time and you've taken your baby steps, and you've built a really strong foundation, it's all going to come together.