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What Pride Has to Do with It

So we're here to talk about pride and how pride will give us a window into the things that bring us joy and satisfaction. So, andrea, you mentioned meaning as one of your values, and I mentioned how that's going to mean something different to everyone, so we're going to really be able to pinpoint what's meaningful to you through your proudest moments, so we're still until the end of the segment in our dream day, so we're still keeping our head in the clouds a bit, but we're putting our feet on the ground because we all have a really life grown up limitations and responsibilities to consider alongside our dreaming so that's like fifty percent why I call myself that when I grow up coach half because I want to help people figure out what they want to be when they grow up creative women specifically and a half because I was all of a sudden a grownup, then have grown up needs and values. So these questions that I'm gonna answer ask you about your proudest moments are really rooted in your p...

ersonality and your history, and your pride and what's come naturally to you and has given you joy because bringing those things into our passionate career is again what makes it feel like a dream? What makes it fun feel like play what makes a waking up in the morning and knowing that the things you have on your calendar to do are things that you're excited about doing that you do well that is meaningful for you that's what makes a dream career so we're not doing a big happy to be visualization but I want you guys to close your eyes because I feel like it's easier to kind of get to your proudest moment if you're just blocking everything out right? So you're just trying to try to empty your mind try to picture just blackness I'm just gonna ask you your proudest moment if you could get yourself there if you could remember where you were what you were doing who you were with how you felt it was more than happy go beyond happy that proudest moment it does not have to be professional it does not have to be connected to your career a lot of the clients I work with know exactly what their proudest personal moment is but they tell me they don't have one for professional moment oh you guys got it you see it okay before you lose it open your eyes write it down write it on down in the workbook on page thirty four what has been your proudest moment? What did you say? See if you have more than one then that is okay and again it doesn't have to be connected to a job what did you see if you're stuck and I love it, everyone here seems to be scribbling away, but if you're stuck at home or here, you could also or instead you could just fill in the blank I'm proudest when I blank and do a stream of consciousness exercise I'm proudest when I work with dogs I'm proudest when I see my kids smile I'm proudest when I'm able tio go on vacation with money that I'm that I've earned anything that pops into your head I'm proudest when I make a killer grilled cheese sandwich I'm proud of what I'm proudest when I I'm proudest one eye so you could do that or talk about your proudest moment mmm mmm mmm mmm and jen I realize I should have called on you before we started but finish your writing in your workbooks so you have it down and then I'm going to ask you to come on up and share it with us here on the easel this is the first time I think I saying talk today I do that all the time usually it sounded good all the time thank you that's four five it counts when other people said it was no it doesn t even over under for this thing stacy e uh I loved us and know as always you could go expand on it at home tonight we're going to break for the whole rest of the day of the end of the segment. Oh, stacey, woody, right. Are you in the middle of writing? Some of the times when I feel most proud is on my daughter, like thinks I'm cool, she'll do eleven now. Those moments are kind of, but there are moments like mom is really cool and I'm like, yes, wow. Leaving anything house guest fifteen year old niece wants to hang out with me and I wanted to hang out with me when she was eleven and twelve, and she still wants to hang out with when you're doing something right. I love that love that jenna, you done right enough there. Can I call you up to kind of see this on the boat had given easily. You guys look at this. This is like big time class stuff. So tell us about your proudest moment. Okay, so my proudest moment was when I realized I actually had the financial security to resign from my job and take some time off to actually get my health back in order, like change my lifestyle and make a really life changes to be healthy. Instead of constantly being on the verge of exhaustion and being sick, could we write rial life changes to be healthy? Yeah, like I don't say is it up right? Like lifestyle changes to real life stakes style chickens to be harmony let's write it let's write it down so we could see us. I think that that's amazing and also very expansive too. So it wasn't necessarily one thing and I think for your proudest moments it could be like a whole bunch of moments that go into something bigger. Um, it could also be more than one thing you could have a few proudest moments. This for me is a total proudest moment big time er, you know, along with some other personal stuff, so feel free if you have some other proud moments in your head and you want to jot them down in your workbook, you know, to you could expand on them later, you could look for common themes that's really exciting realize style changes to be healthy that's love it. Could we throw it to the chat real quick and stay here because I'm going to ask you a follow up for that and everyone else absolutely uh keep some people say they got a couple of proudest moments um, g in sd is saying the one thing they have in common is they all include me sacrificing something we're not sure how that fits into them having a successful career thanks for staying laura saying getting my results from my degree was mine because I struggle through university so I really can't believe that I park surprising yourself it seems like any time you kind of surprised yourself is part of a proud moment now here's an interesting one hell yeah shelly saying I think my proudest moment a ll have to do with making my parents crowd say that's interesting though I find that interesting so that's something that we are ingrained to do isn't it and it's something that sometimes hold us back from following our dreams? You don't want to disappoint up aaron alright it's interesting if you have parents that are really supportive are doing something that you want to emulate then I could understand saying I'm making my parents proud and that makes me proud but I think I think we know when there's an emptiness around making our family proud like oh that's good for a dad but that's it for me I actually want to ask you a question, michelle when you told your parents you wanted to go to drama school and be an actress that's not a career that most parents support what was their reaction? They they had a wonderful reaction I was in an anomaly and my family I they didn't know where I came from in terms of my acting by performing a my singing this was not in their wheelhouse they've always been very supportive. I've always let it they've never pushed me, but whenever I said this is what I want to do, I want to try out for this thing I want to go here they were, they were supported them uh, when I decided to go to school for musical theater. Um, I could sum it up by saying that I applied to nuo early decision, and I was at my interview at sarah lawrence college with my mother and I came back to the house and there were balloons everywhere in the house, and it was like mid december, and I was told that I wasn't going to find out whether I got accepted or not by you and the till the middle of january. So there are all these balloons up and was congratulations and my dad was on the couch and he was crying, uh and I said to him, what's going, I looked at my mom and I said, what's going on and she goes, I don't know and I looked at my dad and I said, what's going on and he said, we got the letter from gnu eye opens it cause I thought it was something about housing and you got in and he and that it was like hours before and there was talk of whether or not I was going and it's expensive, another line, he said, it's, a harvard of musical theatre schools, you have to go, so I think that they were and have been so supportive of me, but then also, there is a point this was a few years before I gave up acting, I'll never forget I was just really, really having a hard time with that, and, uh, I didn't say anything about maybe I'm quitting, and I didn't mention that, but I was in the car with my mom, and she said yes, when I let you know, if you decide not to do this, no one's gonna be disappointed in you and no one's going to think that you were a failure, and that just stuck with me, and I think gave me the courage to leave that world behind, so they were super super supportive, but I think also skipped, they knew it was a hard life, they didn't want that for me, so, you know, I became a life coach instead, because that yeah, thank you for bringing that up next number, I told my mother I wanted to be in television, she said, I'd end up in the gutter, and she you know what? Those great people down there with me on d when you're looking up to see anyway absolutely absolutely absolutely oh my gosh, I love this uh okay, so now we're focusing in on why were you proud? So, jen why were you proud that you mean these rial lifestyle changes to be healthy? Well, I realized I just realized that I didn't have to live a certain way upto actually my parents expectations and other peoples but actually there are a lot of different ways to earn your money and live your life that people are doing all over the world that they're perfectly happy doing and you're making a contribution and there are a lot of different ways to do it and until that point I was very linear very single focused on doing it a certain way and being more competitive and it wasn't healthy yeah, and so I got out of the competitive and I'm not a competitive person, so that didn't really work either, so I think the biggest shift was just realizing oh my god, I can actually create a life that is much more in tune with who I am and still I support myself financially and still even though I don't know what that looks like on and still make a contribution and do all those things and it doesn't have to be a certain way because I'm seeing what other people are doing uh oh my gosh. Okay, I want you to write all that down in your workbook you sit down it's good. We have a recording, but from what I hear think we could summarize it by saying that so why why you were proud is that you were able to see and embrace a new perspective on a new way to live your life that you thought what was impossible are not done or you were telling yourself you can't dio so now it was about seeing the possibilities yeah, it was definitely about me feeling at the time I'm not that person I got my job and do that, you know? And then you know I always date are and now we say why not me? Why not me? Could you write down that why however you want to summarize it? Okay, I just like why not me? Why not me like I love it it's embracing a new perspective and what did you say way kind of muttered something uh okay was talking about surprising yourself and it's about uh uh doing something that you didn't think you were capable of doing. Yeah, so I think embracing a new perspective or having a new set of beliefs were finally committing to the thing that you've been thinking about doing forever I think it is is the turning point and I think is uh a lot of people's bios and about pages and stories I tell the story about dry heaving in the trash can for years and years and years because I realized the first time I told that story is like oh that's my turning point that's why I became when I grow up coach that's what what I want to prevent other people from doing and that resonates so I just have to point out that like this turn hearing you say that and hearing more from you about how you embrace the new why not me perspective is what people wanna hear and know I love it thank you for coming. Uh could we hear some more wise from you guys? What do you guys writing down? Everyone was listening to the news I'll ring did you write something down? Jenny, tell us about your proudest moment and why the problem it was that I picked was, um it was a a yarn like a yarn bombing art installation that was over a huge bridge in pittsburgh. And so I organized a group in our area in west virginia making couple panels and put them up and, you know, organizing it like since I was in charge of it, it was it started to get a little bit challenging and just making sure we get it done, but when we went to the celebration when it was all finished that was my proudest moment because it was done like we could look at it and I knew that we all worked on it together and we were like sharing and uh well thatwas so it was so you're part of a community and a group which you saw on your dream oh my god thank god oh my god of so that's really interesting do you think it was the part that you were part of a group or community or was the tangible piece where you're looking at something that you did? I don't know it's like both of those things I really like I like seeing something when it's done but that we were all looking at it together like there was no denying like we all did this together because it was right there being part of that team being part of that group that's really interesting I've had a lot of client it's like I have in order to get meaning of fulfillment for my work I have to see it I have to be the un point I have to see the difference that I'm making I have to have it be tangible but I think that you were caveat being I I have maybe not have to I want to be part of a team that did it together that collaboration that teamwork also plays into your values thank you that's sexual example who else wants to share their why the proudest melman's yes, jennifer so one of my proudest moments was just maybe a week or so ago was the launch of my blawg oh, I thought, oh my god fantastic, so exciting! So so that was a major thing teo put some it's pretty honest, you know, and and it's intended to be really inspirational, so I wanted to kind of take some deeper thoughts and make them a little bit funnier a little bit lighter, more positive and easier for people to maybe relate to great yeah, so that's that's been a major thing to kind of take a step towards the type of work that I want to ultimately do with people so that's the why it sounds like you're making your career idea tangible by launching this bog so you know you're moving forward exactly pride being proud of yourself for doing that, breaking through, surprising yourself, doing something new, following through on what you want for yourself, it all ties in together anything happening in the chat it's really interesting because a lot of people are talking about proudest moments they're not necessarily related to their careers a tool that I I love that yes, please on dh it's interesting what that what they say they are I mean abby lynn who's, a regular viewer with us she's saying my proudest moments are also humbling and blessed by putting god first in my life has helped me to focus on what is most important in other ways as well on dh I've lost it now but somebody said something brilliant about having have the balls to quit their job to stay and it's a lady saying it on stay home and look after her two children here we are a winter ball my palace mine was when I got the ball but my last job toe work at home and to take care of my two young boys you know it's a big step it's a big step and I think again if you're someone that doesn't connect with having a passion your dream career does not have to rely on your passion or you of doing or following your bliss it relies on how could I do more of what makes me proud and makes me fulfilled and I know for me I just wrote a post about this my four month old daughter my husband I adopted back in june and so it's been a really interesting adjustment it's been amazing and all the amaze balls and all the things oh my god how did I not say that and all the things that you know I was told it was going to be but that was obviously such a proud moment for me to get through the adoption process and toe find our daughter and to be able to be her mom and like that being with her is such a source of pride for me and the fact that I've built this business and my husband has been freelancing for just over a year the fact that he's been able teo quit his job in advertising and freelance as a copywriter is like, oh, we did that so we could be here with her now so I could go to the park on a tuesday with all the other nannies and be one and the only mom's there because it's two o'clock on a tuesday and most people are at work and so I think that those proud moments again give us that window into the lifestyle that we want and just like winter born was that was that the name winterbourne? I mean reminds new sarah carbo, who I talked about briefly in the first segment who was a virtual assistant and she like the nature herself and branded herself and made a really authentic business and then got the balls to say, I'm going to shut this business down because I want a home school my daughter and I'll blawg and still have my creative projects and talk about nerdy things and mom things and crafty things because that's what I like to do but that that it takes balls reason say balls over and over again that's okay, right? Well, mason has now spread to twitter six candy larry's onto it and she's saying why not me when I grew up trees amaze amaze balls is the best career training ever thank you definitely used the hashtag dream career live we'd love to hear your comments there as well so that is that is that kind of seven no I mean I love this so um and I should have let you sit down yet but you don't have to get back off I'm all right for you I want to connect this right I want to connect this to our vital values and our friends and family finding so what traits were present and your friends and family findings and your vital values that show up in your proudest moment or a moments workbook page thirty six uh jenny I think gave us the example like before I even asked the question so tell us the gang just like what it was that you know you found out in the dreaming and the values and that is now connected teo that proud moment yeah because I think working the group was one thing and then I just flipped back and so I asked my husband as one of the people and he said that the thing that he admired was determination to complete a task and I think that was in it too like working in that group but also like pulling us all through towards the end and getting it actually done so it's all connected it's all connected right down those thoughts right? It could be bullet points it could be phrases it could be just words but absolutely it seems like determination working in a team completing a project I don't know if the fact that it was a creative that thing was important to you sometimes we need to look at like what kind of project what I need to do to feel that fulfillment that could be overall but like that's all connected jen what would you say so I could write this down um for my friends and family finding so are from any anything that we've done so far today really that's connected tio this um I would say you know like growth, huh for sure was growth in your vital values mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm healthy healthy is in my light of ice but not gross. It was like number six or seven it wasn't at number five but healthy is part of all of this. Yeah health for sure. Yeah, yeah. And growth uh huh uh huh. And you had a new friends and family findings come in during the break that I think it's very connected to this to write home about right and and that was really I mean, I think the whole thing I read to you was about, you know, personal transformation ha ha which is embracing a new set of beliefs I mean that's really? Everything she said is about personal transformation so this is the this is the what you're proud of this is the why you're proud of it. And here is how it's connected there's like there goes my sing song voice uh and it's interesting because you know, she gave some specifics like like creative brainstorming and photography and writing but really it was these things that kind of jumped out at me that were connected to all of the other things that she feels you know, things that she notices admire supports man just great I love it. Thank you. Yeah, who else could make some connections for us? Yeah. So, uh my proud moment was moving from the east coast to the west coast um about six months ago, which was a huge transition for a job and, um I noticed when I was getting feedback a lot of it was about taking risks but also having a plan, huh? So being able to like organized chaos right teo a move where everything I own and everything is set up. You know, all of it ended up bundled in a package here in san francisco um vs my stuff could have been all over the country left my cut, you know yeah, right have gone either way I love it it all placed together you know please I'm glad thank god you guys are making these connections who is so glad and andre you wanted to share yours too? Yeah, I have a couple um what did I write down for? My, um proudest moments? Well, one of them was the first one I really remember was I got accepted to the theatre department and that was a big big deal you had a petition because I didn't get accepted originally so that was very proud moment for me I have three years sobriety. Oh, that is it stream ly I can't even believe that. Um and then in sobriety I met my husband he's wonderful. So, um what I what I chick from my values were bravery humor because that part was a comedic part you know, laughter and performing and growth and finding my love through growth um which which which is sobriety and then getting up and dusting myself off because I had a really horrible few years before that uh I think growth I just I think we keeps seeing it and hearing it on I want to connect it to one of the questions that was asked for, like, what if you make the wrong decision and then you you know you spent time doing something and want to dio if you tune into that feeling of equally scary and sighted and you think back to those proudest moments and how you felt in those moments and you use that feeling as that compass of like okay, I feel this feeling about this thing it's kind of scary but I'm excited like that's your opportunity for growth so if you feel more excited than scared about something it means you're probably about to have fun and that's great and go have fun but you probably don't care about the thing you're doing and if you're feeling too fearful and not excited enough you're probably in a bad situation and should get yourself out of that situation eso knowing like how does it feel for you before you've gone on this this this growth or have had this transformation if you're able to pinpoint that you could start really recognizing it yes I think one way for me to kind of judge that balance to sometimes is to say how would I feel if I didn't do this he has you know like what would be so disappointed if I didn't uh it's so great it's so great I love that why not me and how will I feel if I don't do this something that I will regret? Yes general so that times in my life where I've had the most growth I mean and I would say in terms of transformational growth have been actually been the opportunities I have not chosen have been the right, the ones I've fallen into ass backwards or they I found myself in this thing, and I'm like, oh, my god, what do I do now? And then? I just chose to do it from there, like you're in it, it's the life experience, it actually finds you whether it's positive or negative, sometimes you think it's like the worst thing possible, but actually, the truth is, you sort of dusted yourself off, pick yourself up and move forward, and at the end of that that's when you're like, oh, wow, you know, I never think that's true, I think that's so true, and I think a lot of the times when we don't make those choices when we get sick, when we get fired, when, you know, when these kind of traumatic things happened to us and I remember a quote saying, like, your true self is reflected in the worst situation, something like that. So when you know things are really down, how you choose to respond to it is who you truly are very true. And so I think that that if we think about those times in our lives, when we have been faced with that adversity, what tools did we use to get out of it? Um and how did we turn things around? That could be a really great window, too, and build your trust, right? So you have proof you have lit like, you have proof that you could write down and hold as d'oh all the times that you've made this transformation before and what happened? You know what the worst thing happened to me already? And this is how I reacted, so I know if it happens to me again, I'm going, I'm going might not make the same exact decisions, but I know how I'm going to respond just so great way have a little bit of time for some, some q and a is their stuff in the in the chat it's coming in? Absolutely come miss nikki saying I keep on getting courage along with creativity and passionate persona, that's what she keeps coming back to the same what I helped them most is being empathetic and non judgmental, being unique, being able to relate to anyone anywhere, along with my sense of human you're saying that earlier about being unique about being himself because everybody has something, they are all you need. I have something completely unique to offer, right? And I think that's, what the vast majority of my clients come to me for is that they want to feel authentic all day long. And if you're stuck in a job and believe me, I felt it fifty hours a week when I was in that financial consultancy company um I actually got in trouble over two years after I started working there from my loud voice and I was like, I've always had this loud voice you hired me with this loud voice, but I was too loud in my cubicle and it was so dumb because I was it was in the span of time that I knew I was leaving like I had three months and I was the countdown it started I knew I was leaving it was still felt like a personal attack and I cried and my manager's office because it was attacking who I am authentically as a person I did say, oh, well, do you want to give me my own office with the door so we won't bother anyone with my loud voice while I'm talking to clients and interacting? No do you want me to work from home? No okay, well, I don't know what to tell you. S oh having having my own personal attributes be questions and kind of threatened that way in the end of that story is that I decided to kind of just withdraw totally and so I kind of only talked when I had teo and then I got in trouble for not appearing as eager to help me my colleagues and that I wasn't as vivacious is I usually was so people thought I wasn't passionate about what I was doing, and so I miss it's, me manager, you've taken away all of my communication skills don't know howto actually goes, we'll go back to the old michelle s o I think that, like now the fact that I wake up in the morning and I mean, all day long, I'm not dressing like someone else. I'm not speaking like someone else that that's what we're looking for big time, anything else in the chap for what's really interesting about what most people are talking about. This is this is actually a really strong fed is about abusive bosses on dh standing up to them on channel set my was actually not gonna even look in their direction because their boss might be watching did chapter one of the students at lunchtime is going through something similar to this. In the moment you were saying you've had issues with, you know your boss is in the past as well, it seems to be something that really is what's frustrating people, but in a way is encouraging them to get out and live their dream, I hope so, I hope it's reverse bullying, I hope, it's, bullying and the effect of like this is everyone's breaking moment now because they're finally drawing the line in the sand that they won't be treated like this anymore but I think it's also a reflection on these bosses and managers of their own beliefs is that like you can't go do anything else like you think you could do better than this job this is a stable job this is whatever you know they're reflecting that on you and you're here to prove them wrong so hopefully they're giving us some sort of fire and passion and that could be a window into your dream career to like what's really what fires you are really upset about and you know it's gonna be a proud moment when you tell that boss like yeah, I've done this thing and I'm when I went into my manager's office and it wasn't sure if she knew about me being the one I grew up coach and I said to her I was giving my notice she said oh are you leaving to coach and she never mentioned it before and it never came up and I said yes and she said oh that looks like a really good fit for you good luck seems wonderful it's like oh thank you on dh so it was a really kind of surprised that it wasn't no you have to stay here why leaving this job what creative people have no money and all those things that just oh, no. And I was getting I got that from a lot of people. It seems like a good fit seems like you really built something and yes, jennifer and maybe was that because you had already proven it to yourself. Yeah, you know, having taken that step and so you had the confidence absolutely cleave the fruits of your labor, you know that you were doing it and then it was really it's the catch twenty two, right? So, like, I couldn't become confident about quitting my stable, lucrative job uh in new york city where it's so expensive to be the frickin when I grow up coach without there being some sort of proof and even if she didn't see it, I had it, I had it and I knew I was ready. So yes, that's a really, really great point, so we want to expand on this. I touched on this a little bit. We could, uh we could write down up to five proudest moments and look for the commonalities. You could write more than that if you have it, but that's something that you could expand on here or you could, like, make a picture book or write a short story about your proudest moments I kind of love bringing the other people in who were there during your proudest moments and ask them, like, do you remember that time that we did the yarn bomb, like, what was that like? And and what was your impression of it? And I was in. I didn't make an impression on you, like it's it on me and kind of talking to people about that proudest moment. And you could make a story or get a more fleshed out visualization of what that is. So encourage you guys two to expand on that on your own time.